Two days after we break up she was in a relationship

[Think About It...]

Seems she was stringing me along this whole time ever since she kicked me out March 5th. She was in a relationship 2 days afterwards. And was still having me sleep over, cuddle, and kissing me...I'm done...that is all

[sirhero]

Seems she was stringing me along this whole time ever since she kicked me out March 5th. She was in a relationship 2 days afterwards. And was still having me sleep over, cuddle, and kissing me...I'm done...that is all

[suzn]

Im so sorry this happened sirhero      being cheated on is painful. How are you doing?

[rooftop]

sirhero- I am so sorry to hear that. My exBPD gf kicked me out in a rage over nothing 4 days after she reunited with someone from another city 3000km away. I since found out they are in a relationship only weeks after she kicked me out..She covered up everything and has never admitted anything or had a shred of remorse..They are very cruel and sick people..It will go the same way as their other r/ships my friend.

Hang in there  

R

[goinbonkers]

sirhero- well that really sucks.  sorry you have to deal with that.  i do feel for you.  some people are just so disconnected that they can connect to the next person without a care in the world.  but they are loosely connected to anyone else that they decide to hook up with.

[GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Are you on the right board?]

GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Are you on the right board? This board is for members with failed or failing relationships that want to detach from their relationship and relationship wounds. If you are still analyzing the decision to stay, please post on Undecided: Staying or Leaving All members living with a pwBPD should learn to use the Stop the Bleeding tools - boundaries, timeouts and other basic tools - to better manage the day to day interactions with your partner. If you have questions on any of the tools, feel free to go over to Staying: Improving a Relationship with a Borderline Partner and ask for help. :-)

[sirhero]

Im so sorry this happened sirhero      being cheated on is painful. How are you doing?

I'm angry, not even sad just angry. Disappointed in her, she tried to cover it up, but did such a bad job.

[sirhero]

sirhero- I am so sorry to hear that. My exBPD gf kicked me out in a rage over nothing 4 days after she reunited with someone from another city 3000km away. I since found out they are in a relationship only weeks after she kicked me out..She covered up everything and has never admitted anything or had a shred of remorse..They are very cruel and sick people..It will go the same way as their other r/ships my friend.

Hang in there  

R

Thanks, yeah apparently she was just waiting for the right moment to kick me out. Over a stupid rage of course.. I thanked her for doing this sooner rather than later.

[sirhero]

sirhero- well that really sucks.  sorry you have to deal with that.  i do feel for you.  some people are just so disconnected that they can connect to the next person without a care in the world.  but they are loosely connected to anyone else that they decide to hook up with.

I'm sure when things go sour, she'll contact me...I want nothing to do with her.

[rooftop]

sirhero- I too believe that mine was looking, as they crave attention and someone to want them to validate themselves. I dont believe hooking up with this guy was premediated but they act impulsively and as soon as a guy takes interest in her then seeya later!
Plus, mine was always a flirt sexually and wanted to feel like men wanted her--thats extreme insecurity and low self-worth right there...She always thought i wld take off with a 30 year old as I dated usually younger woman in the past (i am 49 but look 40 and am very fit and toned). She was always insecure that her home in the burbs and her being a single mum (but hot mum) was not good enough for me..No matter how i reassured her and told her i wanted to be with her (and moved in with her and the 2 kids) she always felt she was below me!

Very sad..and then they cheat..go figure  ?

[sirhero]

sirhero- I too believe that mine was looking, as they crave attention and someone to want them to validate themselves. I dont believe hooking up with this guy was premediated but they act impulsively and as soon as a guy takes interest in her then seeya later!
Plus, mine was always a flirt sexually and wanted to feel like men wanted her--thats extreme insecurity and low self-worth right there...She always thought i wld take off with a 30 year old as I dated usually younger woman in the past (i am 49 but look 40 and am very fit and toned). She was always insecure that her home in the burbs and her being a single mum (but hot mum) was not good enough for me..No matter how i reassured her and told her i wanted to be with her (and moved in with her and the 2 kids) she always felt she was below me!

Very sad..and then they cheat..go figure  ?

Kind of funny she's a single mom with 2 kids too. 6 and 2 years old. She's playing games with me now. Just texted me saying "Lol heading home. Traffic is gay. I looovvee you!" I'm just going to ignore it as I know she's trying to get a reaction out of me. And she's probably didnt think I would react the way I did...which was calm. Didn't use vulgar language or anything and wished her the best of luck.

[rooftop]

sirhero- do not reply at all costs! NC as she is playing games with you and wants to suck u in.

At least yours says "I loooovee you" ...Mine was just cruel and hurtful because i wldnt play her games and called her out as a cheat and Liar..she wldnt stop ringing for 2 days and i ignored them all..she said "I was full of Sh@!t and can make up any story i want to make myself feel better"...haha, thats funny & sad seeing you shetold me she is in a r/s with him 10 days ago...NC for 10 days and counting now.

[sirhero]

sirhero- do not reply at all costs! NC as she is playing games with you and wants to suck u in.

At least yours says "I loooovee you" ...Mine was just cruel and hurtful because i wldnt play her games and called her out as a cheat and Liar..she wldnt stop ringing for 2 days and i ignored them all..she said "I was full of Sh@!t and can make up any story i want to make myself feel better"...haha, thats funny & sad seeing you shetold me she is in a r/s with him 10 days ago...NC for 10 days and counting now.

NC will be hard, but I'll do my damn best to maintain it. I don't know if the "I looovvvee you" was real or not nor should I really care at this point. I think she expected me to try to beg her to stay with me, beg her to come back. Even if she just messing with me, she crossed a line that I do not tolerate at all. I doubt she'll be ringing me up, but if she does..."ingore" She said I am drama wrapped in skin, I love how they project so easily.

[geo03]

Sir, I feel for you. I am beginning to think that the sexual acting out is just core to their condition. When I step back and take a long hard look at how my ex behaved around her friends, and family, I realize that bottom line, the woman had no boundaries when it came to what is considered "socially appropriate" in regards to her sexuality. The way I see it, everyone is a tool to be used, and the pwBPD uses whatever lifeskills they have learned to get their emotional needs met. With my ex it was her sexuality and feigned helplessness. With other pwBPD, they may use sex, or whatever emotional "tug" yields the desired result.

[sirhero]

Sir, I feel for you. I am beginning to think that the sexual acting out is just core to their condition. When I step back and take a long hard look at how my ex behaved around her friends, and family, I realize that bottom line, the woman had no boundaries when it came to what is considered "socially appropriate" in regards to her sexuality. The way I see it, everyone is a tool to be used, and the pwBPD uses whatever lifeskills they have learned to get their emotional needs met. With my ex it was her sexuality and feigned helplessness. With other pwBPD, they may use sex, or whatever emotional "tug" yields the desired result.

I know it's an illness, but it's pretty sad they have to resort to that. Why not just be honest with me and say things are not going to work out. Instead you basically cheat on me. Tell me not to contact you, yet you're playing games with me now saying what I posted above and when I don't reply following up with "hahahaha". It's like she knows she messed up and is trying something else to blame on someone to take the heat off of her. After this I don't think I could ever take her back. I deserve better than that and have way too much respect for myself. And I refuse to stoop down to her level. This new guy will fill that void temporarily until he sees the craziness and leaves. I saw the craziness and stuck around, but it's rare to find people who will do that.

[geo03]

Her lies were infuriating once I was able to sift through the bs. Like you, all I wanted was her to come clean because I have the right to make the best choices in my life for me and my daughter. I gave her many kind and loving opportunities to so.

They just dont have the emotional integrity to do the right thing

[myfault]

I feel for you all;

They have no identity of their own.
They are nothing and they NEED someone else to try and fill them up. They are a leaky vase that you can fill and fill, but it will hold nothing.

I was with my X for three years, the last two married to him. He left nov. 1st and two weeks later moved in with another woman. Did he commit adultery?…. You bet!.
Was he still telling me he loved me while he was wooing his new “love” yup!
He is now taking her to our honeymoon place, and they are talking about a 2012 marriage. We are not even divorced yet.   

[goinbonkers]

I feel for you all;

They have no identity of their own.
They are nothing and they NEED someone else to try and fill them up. They are a leaky vase that you can fill and fill, but it will hold nothing.

I was with my X for three years, the last two married to him. He left nov. 1st and two weeks later moved in with another woman. Did he commit adultery?…. You bet!.
Was he still telling me he loved me while he was wooing his new “love” yup!
He is now taking her to our honeymoon place, and they are talking about a 2012 marriage. We are not even divorced yet.   

That is truly sad.  Indeed.

[abovebeyond]

I'm in the same boat except it was 2-4 weeks. Not sure when the X had it lined up, but the last week sure went by fast before she kicked me out. Showed up at my work spaces in a pissy mood, thinking I there cheating with another woman. No one there but me. Crazy eyes. Sent her home to relax. 4 days later she breaks our engagement over facebook and kicks me out. Really heartbreaking to be devalued as a human being by someone you love, trust, and is your best friend. But then it turns; and it is not pretty. Wow.

[luckystrikes]

i can only hope you dont take this personally, sirhero, and that you see it for what it is. the actions of a disordered person.

mine threw the new guy in my face after three days, on a date with him within six, and publicly announced they were in a relationship within ten. huge shocks to the system to be sure, but i never felt a tinge of jealousy. their position is not to be envied. its just desperation.

consider yourself free. it had to happen to me, i couldnt have left on my own. it isnt you, or anything youre lacking. shes following the script.

[goinbonkers]

I'm in the same boat except it was 2-4 weeks. Not sure when the X had it lined up, but the last week sure went by fast before she kicked me out. Showed up at my work spaces in a pissy mood, thinking I there cheating with another woman. No one there but me. Crazy eyes. Sent her home to relax. 4 days later she breaks our engagement over facebook and kicks me out. Really heartbreaking to be devalued as a human being by someone you love, trust, and is your best friend. But then it turns; and it is not pretty. Wow.

Really sorry you had to go through that.  Its just mind boggling.

[james79]

"Two days after we break up she was in a relationship"

from what i've learnt this is TYPICAL BPD BEHAVIOUR.

sad but true.

YOU ARE better off without her.

my wife cheated on me twice over a six week peroid.
now she is with the guy.
But she claimed she did'nt want anyone else.

in time you will feel better mate.
remember you are not alone in this.