Just wanted to share an experience I had - bear with me if it's boring, but I just need to share with someone who will understand how I feel.
So, I have been in bed with migraine the past two days - when I get these migraine attacks, which I fortunately don't get often, I seriously can't do anything but lie in bed with a pillow over my head and wait for the pain to pass.
When I was with BPDex, she would take care of me by bringing me water, check on me, etc. but it would always be in a slightly disinterested and annoyed way and it came "at a price" in the sense that I was expected to make it up to her once I got better - to dote on her and spoil her and say thank you, thank you, thank you a million times.
My new gf was with me when I got the recent attack and she took care of me in the two days I was immobilized in such a sweet and caring way I have never experienced anybody doing it before - making me soup, changing the covers, bringing me iced water, stroking my hair.
What scared me a little yesterday when I was feeling better was that I totally instinctively went into "I'll make it up to you"-mode by preparing to cook her some nice food even though I was still feeling nauseous, I went out and bought her a gift on my wobbling legs and said "Thank you for taking care of me" a million times. It actually ended with that she grabbed me by the shoulders and said, "DON'T DO THIS! I liked taking care of you. That's what people DO when they love someone, alright?"
I seriously didn't know what to say, it was as if the earth had moved under my feet - oh, the many
that I am still carrying around.