Honeymoon phases/cycling?

[Think About It...]

Hello all.  Enjoying about 10 days of drama free behavior from my 14 yr old borderline daughter and I am scared. She has had 3 hospitalizations in the last year - the last for a suicide attempt (3/12).  She is a chronic cutter. Experience tells me that this won't last but it is nice to get a glimpse of the girl I know is in there when she isn't consumed with emotions!

I am finding it hard to maintain the high level of vigilance required for her safety measures because she is doing so well.  However, this has happened before and when I let my guard down and believe she is doing better - BAM, I am blindsided with the suicide attempt. Wondering what others' experiences with this have been.  Is it normal to have breaks in the intensity?  How long can it last? How do you maintain safety over long periods of time? Any advice/info would be welcomed...

[eac]

Hello all.  Enjoying about 10 days of drama free behavior from my 14 yr old borderline daughter and I am scared. She has had 3 hospitalizations in the last year - the last for a suicide attempt (3/12).  She is a chronic cutter. Experience tells me that this won't last but it is nice to get a glimpse of the girl I know is in there when she isn't consumed with emotions!

I am finding it hard to maintain the high level of vigilance required for her safety measures because she is doing so well.  However, this has happened before and when I let my guard down and believe she is doing better - BAM, I am blindsided with the suicide attempt. Wondering what others' experiences with this have been.  Is it normal to have breaks in the intensity?  How long can it last? How do you maintain safety over long periods of time? Any advice/info would be welcomed...

[Outsidemom]

Believe it or not, I used a financial reward for safe behavior, when I thought my BPDD22 was merely depressed at age 15, and doing self harm.  I promised her $100 if she didn't cut herself for 6 months.  I never asked or checked in those 6 months, and she didn't appear to have done any cutting, although I didn't do a strip search.  I gave her the money, and did not see any cuts in any visible areas at the time.
However my dd never seemed suicidal. Is there a trusted family member or friend your dd might be willing to promise to talk to if she feels that way?  It might take some of the pressure off of you.

[runningonempty]

Hi there!  I too have a 14 year old daughter that was hospitalized four times in 2011... I also experienced what you are going through, a reprieve from the insanity.  My experience with my daughter was as long as she was isolated from social networking and friends the first few weeks after being hospitalized, she was "normal", however, once the reigns were let up due to her good behavior, things would oh so slowly esculate, until before I knew it she was cutting again.  It seems as long as she was not getting triggered things would coast along, however that meant I was social director, social companion, and full time caretaker, like when she was a toddler. She went eight months without computer or cell phone, only a land line, and supervised social activities.  When she began highschool in the fall, it went from bad to worse. Good luck to you and enjoy this time while you can. 

[eac]

Thank you outsidemom.  Runningonempty - yes!  So long as there are no social media or friend contact we are good but that can't be sustained forever.  See my new post regarding her running away tonight...  What is your status with your daughter now?

[runningonempty]

I sent her to live with her dysfunctional father over Christmas break.  I was getting phone calls from school about her sleeping, crying, and being ill all the time.  It was horrible.  She refused to go to school and I could barely work.  Her father lives with his oldest son, wife, and two young children, so she is never left alone. They take her and pick her up from school every day, however, she has had in school suspension three times since January for skipping class and bullying another classmate.  Her father thinks she is a "normal" teen...he has forgotten that she threatened to shoot me in a rage and all kinds of other horrible threats...including the desire to mutilate a cat.  She spent her spring break with me last week and I was in my pajamas and house shoes speeding to go meet her father.  I have heard from someone on the board how borderlines tend "bite the hand that feeds them".  That is true in my case.  She lives two hours away and I am waiting for a phone call from her father any day that she is pregnant.  He allows her to smoke pot constantly to keep her moods "stable".  It is just devastating to me.  I feel like I have been in a state of grief for over two years.  This illness destroyed my second marriage and I divorced back in October.  I have lost all health coverage for her and am in just a horrible place. Being around people like family and  friends triggers my grief...anyone with children, anyone that asks how my daughter is doing...I am at a loss for words anymore.  This board has been a life saver for me these past few years.  I don't feel so alone and have recieved so much validation.  I don't post alot, but now that I have a reliable computer I think that will start changing soon. 

[eac]

Wow.  You are in a lot of pain an understandably so.  My dd father thinks she just needs more discipline even though 4 psychiatrists/therapist have given the BPD dx.  I guess we just take one day at a time.  Thank you for sharing your difficult story.  It helps.

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