pwBPD Seems to be Out of Emotions / Giving Her Space

[Think About It...]

Hi
 Wrongturn wrote===
Just curious, do you feel that it is reasonable for your wife to be sleeping in your bed, while you are banished to the couch, extra bedroom, etc.?  By doing this, is there any possibility that you might be enabling/reinforcing her BPD behavior?

======I was thinking that also. It could be enabling. And it would also likely trigger her feeling abandoned, even though she told you to do it. It's similar to them withdrawing, and then feeling abandoned by you. "I hate you---don't leave me"
Shatra

[shatra]

Hi
 Wrongturn wrote===
Just curious, do you feel that it is reasonable for your wife to be sleeping in your bed, while you are banished to the couch, extra bedroom, etc.?  By doing this, is there any possibility that you might be enabling/reinforcing her BPD behavior?

======I was thinking that also. It could be enabling. And it would also likely trigger her feeling abandoned, even though she told you to do it. It's similar to them withdrawing, and then feeling abandoned by you. "I hate you---don't leave me"
Shatra

[CodependentHusband]

Shatra,
     Yes. You are right. I've seen this behavior from my wife on many occasions. Most of the time she would act angry with me in the morning if I slept on the couch. I asked her last night if she minded if I slept in our bed... her response, "I don't care," which has always meant, "Yes, please do" if I base it on her actions the following morning. I know that I need to hear what she says and realize that it is how she feels at any given time. I get that, but I can't ignore past patterns of behavior either.


   As for the other night, trust me guys... I NEEDED to sleep on the couch. She was irritable enough and angry enough with me that I KNEW the couch was a better idea. 

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