Parent evening

[Think About It....]

DD5 is excelling thanks to God. DS10 however has continued the deterioration that started since feb when CE equivalent spoke to him and mentioned contact.  His teacher freely admit his behaviour now not his natural inclinnation as he was so different up to feb (not seen dad since august) Giving attitude to me at home (not before) and now at school. She went as far as to say she very worried about him and if hadnt been parent evening she would have called me in. She very supportive and asking for ways to help at school but basically he needs to get on with it. She says his work ok at momment. i point out that for him, its not. he hitting national expectation, but every other year he exceeded it so his work IS slipping.

Spoke to him last night.  He had also seen an agenda from a work meeting i'd been to and asked what it was etc. i also pointed out there was a space for "action points" as an outcome of a meeting. i got him to write some action points down from the parents evening to take to his teacher today - i really want him to take the responsibility for this (obv something hos dad would never do) and emphasis he has the CHOICE to turn it around for final term. i really hope it works, he is such a good natured big hearted kid normally. it fdid make me tearful, and his teacher, its just not him, but thisd point in his schooling prior to high school is crucial. and its the attitude that bother me most, he is now so negative about everything. teacher said when asked to do a new task needs lots reassureance cos high anxiety and of he doesnt get it right gives up.

Im rambling, sorry, anyone got any suggestions please? he has seen sch nurse and been referred to a project to help kids who have witnessed and experienced DV - but theres a waiting list as always "PRIVATE" doesnt exist. still not heard yet

any comments appreciated

[Gettingthere]

DD5 is excelling thanks to God. DS10 however has continued the deterioration that started since feb when CE equivalent spoke to him and mentioned contact.  His teacher freely admit his behaviour now not his natural inclinnation as he was so different up to feb (not seen dad since august) Giving attitude to me at home (not before) and now at school. She went as far as to say she very worried about him and if hadnt been parent evening she would have called me in. She very supportive and asking for ways to help at school but basically he needs to get on with it. She says his work ok at momment. i point out that for him, its not. he hitting national expectation, but every other year he exceeded it so his work IS slipping.

Spoke to him last night.  He had also seen an agenda from a work meeting i'd been to and asked what it was etc. i also pointed out there was a space for "action points" as an outcome of a meeting. i got him to write some action points down from the parents evening to take to his teacher today - i really want him to take the responsibility for this (obv something hos dad would never do) and emphasis he has the CHOICE to turn it around for final term. i really hope it works, he is such a good natured big hearted kid normally. it fdid make me tearful, and his teacher, its just not him, but thisd point in his schooling prior to high school is crucial. and its the attitude that bother me most, he is now so negative about everything. teacher said when asked to do a new task needs lots reassureance cos high anxiety and of he doesnt get it right gives up.

Im rambling, sorry, anyone got any suggestions please? he has seen sch nurse and been referred to a project to help kids who have witnessed and experienced DV - but theres a waiting list as always "PRIVATE" doesnt exist. still not heard yet

any comments appreciated

[beyondbelief]

I'll be honest as my experience with DV is non-existent.  Two good books that you may be able to find some answers from are

The Power of Validation
Putting Children First

The first is about making your child feel felt and allowing them to process their emotions.  The second is about how divorce affects children and covers a lot of ground ranging from better communications to helping them become more resilient, raising the emotional intelligence and much more.  You can find more information about both on them on our Book Review board.

[Gettingthere]

Thanks BB, i saw your review of putting children first recently, and loaded my kindle with it recently   I have a tendancy to rush through books and am forcing myself to read through and wait to get to the stuff about resiliance.

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GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Are you on the right board? The focus of this board is about understanding the child, their needs, and supporting them in an intelligent and non self-sacrificing way. If your topic is mostly about the other parent and you are divorced, please go to Rebuilding our Life. If your topic is mostly about legal/custody issues, please go to Family law, Divorce, and Custody. If your topic is mostly about the other parent and you are still married, please go to Staying: Improving a Relationship with a Borderline Partner. If you need help moving a thread, please contact a moderator. We are glad to help. :)