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spacedmonkeys
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« Reply #41 on: September 24, 2012, 05:44:56 AM » |
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OK split with BPDgf back in April.
Got myself "back in the saddle" as soon as I got over the initial break-up trauma, on advice of councellor.
So far, and this is going to sound awful I know it...
First person I met was a friend of a friend. She wanted "no strings". So that went ahead, just the once, but made me feel rather strange and numb, emotionless, like I was a robot just going through the motions of sex.
Next person, this sounds bad, and I have never done this before, but I found myself a gorgeous "escort", and yes I paid for a couple of hours of sex with an amazingly beautiful woman. I felt good.
After this, had about 3 dates, just evening drinks in pubs, none of which I felt I had any sort of compulsion to see after the first date.
Then I got involved with a nice girl, friend of a friend again, which was nice at first, but then became too full on, txting me constantly, asking if I missed her, saying she missed me, despite me saying from the start I wanted nothing heavy and serious. Dated about 6 times, but then I let it fizzle out. She didnt get the heart racing, or the excitement flowing.
Had some more dates, again, none of which had a spark, or I felt like dating again.
Then I met someone who I did kind of like, fairly attracted to, enjoyed her company and she's a "nice" girl... BUT... 4 dates in, and there's no excitement waiting to see her, no anticipation of her next txt message, it kind of feels...boring.
Having read a few threads like this, it seems I am not alone in this.
Will it pass? Are my expectations too high? Am I looking for something that will only come with a BPD? Do I need to somehow "reset" the level, and how the heck do I go about it?
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