Sad today

[Think About It...]

I'm feeling so sad today.

Sad for all of us.

Sad for the girl I replaced.

Sad for my replacement.

Mostly, sad that I was that excited girl in love like that for the first time. Thinking he was my happy ending, that it actually had happened for me and it turned out to be a fraud, a lie, an ugly knockoff and all a trick, a hoax, a joke at my expense.

So many horrible memories that will never disappear.

So depressing.

[LoveNYC]

I'm feeling so sad today.

Sad for all of us.

Sad for the girl I replaced.

Sad for my replacement.

Mostly, sad that I was that excited girl in love like that for the first time. Thinking he was my happy ending, that it actually had happened for me and it turned out to be a fraud, a lie, an ugly knockoff and all a trick, a hoax, a joke at my expense.

So many horrible memories that will never disappear.

So depressing.

[OTB]

Sorry you are feeling sad today, LoveNYC 

It's ok to have those kinds of days.  I have had plenty of them myself.  Is there something you can do for yourself today?  Treat yourself to something and it doesn't have to involve buying something. 

It helps to post here.  I had those dark days and just the other day I took some time to look at my postings to see how far I have come.  It is hard work...hard work on yourself.  Truly looking at yourself and why you got involved in a relationship like this and for me...why I stayed so long.

I have further to grow...but believe it when people say it gets better, because it does.
Hang in there!
OTB

[Whatwasthat?]

Hi LoveNYC

So sorry you are feeling sad today. It does hit very hard sometimes doesn't it?

I've read some of your posts about your ex. He sounds very abusive and I think you should congratulate yourself for having got away from him.

It seems to me really quite appropriate for you - like me - to be feeling sad right now. People talk about making sure you sit with the feelings - I find that uncomfortable but am trying to do it. My yoga teacher says make sure you keep walking or exercising in whatever way you like best to make sure the feelings don't stagnate - and to try not to identify with them too much. In her view they can be viewed as manifestations of energy that need to flow through you.

Therapy helps a lot. Is that a possibility for you at the moment?

[LoveNYC]

Thank you guys for your support.

For now, this is my therapy. Because of time, money and my aversion to having to talk about it/him/my responsibilities when I should better devote that time to doing something OTHER than think about it.

It HAS been getting better. No crying for three whole days this week, hadn't gone even one day for the past 2 and a half months otherwise. So I'm getting better.

The whole thing just seems so senseless, sad and nauseating.

[GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Are you on the right board?]

GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Are you on the right board? This board is for members with failed or failing relationships that want to detach from their relationship and relationship wounds. If you are still analyzing the decision to stay, please post on Undecided: Staying or Leaving All members living with a pwBPD should learn to use the Stop the Bleeding tools - boundaries, timeouts and other basic tools - to better manage the day to day interactions with your partner. If you have questions on any of the tools, feel free to go over to Staying: Improving a Relationship with a Borderline Partner and ask for help. :-)

[breathelife]

I am sorry you are sad... You are entitled to be sad.  I am in the beginning of the process but have been here many times and gave in to my sadness and C but I can't do it anymore.  But I also yearn for what I thought was my soulmate that turned into a nightmare.  I go from anger to pity back to anger to hurt.  I cry several times daily.  The right thing to do is hard and you should be proud of yourself for being so strong.  This board is alsou therapist my friends are tired of me as well because they feel that I should have left months ago and say that I am doing this to myself.  They don't understand the addiction.  Do something for yourself that will make you feel good.  Be sad... And then let it go.  Live in the present and be good to you.  You can go it the other side... I will meet you there shortly

[patientandclear]

Mostly, sad that I was that excited girl in love like that for the first time. Thinking he was my happy ending, that it actually had happened for me and it turned out to be a fraud, a lie, an ugly knockoff and all a trick, a hoax, a joke at my expense.

Yes, this more than anything is what I am still mourning.  How happy I was.  The joy of thinking that, after all, life was going to be this rewarding, and fun, and companionable, and sweet.  The feeling of complete trust and safety he created for me.  My self-confidence about us and where we were going.

A few days before it all ended, one of my closest friends, who was struggling with her 20 year marriage and somewhat envious of my glorious new love, asked me "what are your expectations for this relationship?" and I replied instantly, and with complete assurance, "everything."

Yes, I too feel so sad for all of us.

[goinbonkers]

Sorry you are feeling sad today.

I have been there myself.  I do feel for you.