14dd went to RTC today

[Think About It...]

Took 14dd to RTC today.  She will be there at least 45 days.  A long day (3.5 hr drive each way) but a good one.  I was very reassured about her safety.  Many of the RTCs I talked to were not locked facilities and didn't have very good safety measures.  Given dd history of suicide attempts and disassociative episodes of running away, we needed a very secure facility.  She is at South Shores in Indiana. 

I am grateful tonight for our ability to place her there - with the help of family and savings.  I am painfully aware of how many families do not have this option and that is wrong.  I know there is a national push for parity in insurance payments between health benefits and mental health.  This is something I hope I will be able to advocate for when things improve in our house - because they will improve!

I will use this time to work on my parenting DBT skills and help my poor, neglected 16ds who has seen more and dealt with more than any child should. ( I will also sleep well for this 1st time in a year!)

I will post some updates as time goes by because I know I was desperate for RTC information when I was trying to make a decision on this issue.

I wish peace and harmony to everyone.

[eac]

Took 14dd to RTC today.  She will be there at least 45 days.  A long day (3.5 hr drive each way) but a good one.  I was very reassured about her safety.  Many of the RTCs I talked to were not locked facilities and didn't have very good safety measures.  Given dd history of suicide attempts and disassociative episodes of running away, we needed a very secure facility.  She is at South Shores in Indiana. 

I am grateful tonight for our ability to place her there - with the help of family and savings.  I am painfully aware of how many families do not have this option and that is wrong.  I know there is a national push for parity in insurance payments between health benefits and mental health.  This is something I hope I will be able to advocate for when things improve in our house - because they will improve!

I will use this time to work on my parenting DBT skills and help my poor, neglected 16ds who has seen more and dealt with more than any child should. ( I will also sleep well for this 1st time in a year!)

I will post some updates as time goes by because I know I was desperate for RTC information when I was trying to make a decision on this issue.

I wish peace and harmony to everyone.

[seekinglight]

You have taken a wonderful and brave step for all of your family.

Rest, spend time with your family at home, and reconnect with each other.

Your daughter is where she will be observed, and hopefully with time improve.  I often wished that someone else would SEE our daughter, not as she tried to project herself, but as she was at home with us.  I am going to assume that with this length of time, the reality of what you are dealing with will be seen by all.

[runningonempty]

I have been researching south shore for two years!  I am also three and a half hours away...wonder if we are in the same city?  Could you private message me...it would be such a relief to have someone close by to talk and walk this journey with.  I know this must be such a hard time for you.  When my daughter was first diagnosed by a nuero psychiatrist she was adamant about getting her help NOW as opposed to when she is older and an adult.  She was and is so supportive about early intervention for this illness, where as some in her field are adamant about not diagnosing BPD under the age of 18!  I have heard nothing but great things about south shore and am looking forward to hearing about you and your daughters journey.  I sent my daughter to Indiana to live with her father and am still waiting to see if she can get her a medical card there so she can be covered at south shore.  I have even considered moving 20 minutes away to Indiana and establishing residency to get my daugher state insurance.  Not to mention, I am still waiting to hear on disability.  I know this was not an easy decision, and I hope and pray your daughter will learn the skills to she needs to cope with this illness. 

[peaceplease]

eac,

I am so glad that you are able to have your dd in RTC.  And, it will be nice to spend some time with other dd.  I am glad that you are getting her treatment at the age of 14. 

Look forward to reading updates.   

peaceplease

[denise-eden]

Hi there eac,

So glad to meet you     

I'm happy for you and your family that she is somewhere safe and somewhere that she deserves to be!

She deserves the best care available and it sounds as though you have made a great choice.  Also, a good night sleep will do you well.


Sweet dreams and thank you for your response to my post.

D

[twojaybirds]

sleep well, our dd is safe for now

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[mmtxlee3]

Hello. I am new to this but came to the board looking for RTC or therapeutic boarding school advice. My daughter is 15, turning 16 at the end of the month. Discharged from 1st inpatient acute care for OD Wellbutrin and Benadryl beginning of May. May was good until violent rage at end of month prompted me to send her to Dad's house for temporary living until we could find long term care. BPD diagnosis with anxiety. P suggested therapeutic boarding school but I am scared about alot of the negative info on web. Also costs...is it worth refinancing our home to pay for this? She is resistant to treatment, combative and in denial. Not sure if 1st placement will be successful? Will she view this as abandonment? Struggling with this decision and don't know where to turn for good tried and true programs. Live in TX, from FL...but will send her wherever needed. Any help so graciously appreciated!

[eac]

mmtxlee3 - I am so sad to hear of your struggles with your daughter.  As you read above, I have been there - well, I am there still really.  So far, I believe our time at the RTC was well spent (money well spent as well and we were private pay).  There were many benefits of her 45 day stay but the best one is that objective people were watching and evaluating her on a full time basis.  She started out being the perfect resident but she couldn't keep that up forever and after about 2 weeks her 'real' self came out and they got down to work.  My 14 dd was/is a chronic self injurer and was having intense suicidal ideation along with attempts.  The RTC seems to have helped the suicide component greatly.

The RTC has recommended at therapeutic boarding school for my dd as well. We are not sure what we will do there. I don't think I would start with boarding school tho.  There are good programs that are 30-90 days where they can really do a good evaluation.  You would want one that really specializes in BPD.  I looked for one that did not treat eating disorders or substance abuse as primary diagnosis.

As for money, I think that should be secondary.  Will this treatment be the right thing for her?  Would we do it if insurance would pay? Then figure out the money if these are yes.  Just my opinion.

BTW, my dd OD'd on Benadryl as well - the only 'medication' left out in the house.  Who knew?

I wish you calmness and peace during this terrible time.  If you want any other information click on my name and then send me a private message.  Good luck

[lbjnltx]

mmtxlee,

Hope i got that right 

so good to hear that you are looking for all the info that you can get on rtc for a daughter w/BPD under 18...do everything you can do while you can do it!  the sooner the better.

myths i have heard and have proven wrong in our case w/our daughter (odd, emerging BPD, borderline add, psychotic features, mdd all dx at the age of 12,13)

putting a BPD in an rtc is the worst thing you can do...they will forever believe they were abandoned and now they have proof...not in our case.  once my d14 began to really work the program she realized that she was there because we care so much about her and for her, we were very involved the entire 9.5 months she was there.

30-90 days is long enough to learn the skills they need...perhaps they learn about the skills yet choosing to use them and practicing them takes much much longer...up to a year or more.

placing a child in an rtc long term will only institutionalize them...perhaps longer than 2 years with little parental involvement might...no reputable rtc would practice either of these!

placing a child who does not want to change in an rtc is useless...it wasn't for our daughter.  she had been in outpatient dbt/cbt for 2 years with no change and didn't want to go to the rtc...

a dbt program is the only program to place an adolescent w/BPD...while dbt is definitely an advantage, putting all of your theraputic eggs in one basket may not be advisable...dbt doesn't work for everyone

today:  she has been home (with the exception of 6 weeks nov.,dec., of last year) for 15 months and she continues to get better and better at living a good life.  our family has our life back!

my daughter went to falcon ridge ranch in virgin utah.  i kept an online diary of sorts of every communication, family therapy, family weekend, home visit, email, etc...here at ftf.  if it is something you would like to read (even if you are not considering falcon ridge) i will take the time to post the links to every thread (1 for each month she was there).  it gives a very good picture of what takes place in a good rtc and how involved parents really should be in the process of recovery.  it is not just your daughter who will go through the program...the whole family needs to do this together.

lbjnltx

[eac]

lbjnltx - since they are recommending therapeutic boarding school for dd, I would love the links but can't I get them by looking at your old posts?  Whatever is easier for you but it would be appreciated here.  Thank you for your sharing - it has really helped me and I am sure others.

[lbjnltx]

dear eac,

yes, you probably could...but because the questions and comments from other posters would not show up ... some of my "replies" might not make sense...does that make sense?

it is such a time consuming task to locate, copy, and paste these threads that i would not want to spend the time if there was no real desire  by others to read and contemplate the information...it is ALOT!  

i believe that you would use this info to your families advantage so i will try!  if i don't get it all completed in the first post i will continue on.

i wish there were some way to do this (for the last time!) so that it could be located in the future...just don't know how to make that happen... ;p

seems like there is a link to "choosing an RTC" or something like that...perhaps a higher up could put the links on that topic...?

perhaps i will follow your lead and see if i can find where i compiled the links for someone in the past...still time consuming.

lots of "perhaps" here...

how is your dd doing now?

lbjnltx

[lbjnltx]

dear eac,

i contacted a moderator and sent them all the links in chronological order (including threads post graduation) and they are going to create a permanent link or something similar so the info will be easier to access...

we will see how this comes out...hopefully soon.

get your coffee and quiet place...there are about 13 threads... created over the span of over 2 years.

what a beautiful journey it was and continues to be.

lbjnltx

[mmtxlee3]

Thank you all so much for the wonderful support and advice. Still researching but leaning toward a RTC vs therapeutic boarding school. I am going to therapy for myself tomorrow to help try to sort some of my own feelings through. Not sure if I am still in denial regarding her BPD or what I am feeling. Totally agree that family involvement is key and we are all truly committed to helping her in whatever way possible...even though she doesn't want or think she needs our help! She has been at Dad's since the 27th of May and I miss her. She won't talk to me
I am going to visit her for 16th birthday and bringing her 2 sisters 11 and 3...bit nervous about the trip but looking forward to seeing her. I would like to try to have some type of a plan in place so we can discuss when we are there.

[mmtxlee3]

lbjnltx>>really appreciate the effort you made so that we are able to access the links to your private journaling of your family's experience in Falcon Ridge. Let me know how to read your links when they are available. That would help tremendously with this difficult decision

[lbjnltx]

dear mmtxlee,

yesterday the links were "today's feature".  i will try to post the link here.  at the bottom of the post should be the rest of the threads highlighted in blue to click on at your convenience.

if this doesn't work i will try to send the links via personal message to you.  you can see pm (personal messages by clicking on the "message" box at the top of the page.

ps.  many rtc's are classified as both therapu. boarding schools and residential treatment centers...falcon ridge is.

pss...i live in texas too!

[lbjnltx]

Our daughter's journey at the Residential Treatment Center

BPD d13 in residential treatment center (tm)_

Month 1 Month 2   Month 3

Month 4 Month 5   Month 6

Month 7 Month 8   Month 9

Month 10

hey!  it worked...i am a computer genius~not ;p

[eac]

Thanks!  You are the best