Holidays/Birthdays/etc.

[Think About It...]

My ex was at his absolute WORST on Thanksgiving, his birthday and Valentines Day. He was SO awful this past Valentines Day, that I never saw him in person again and finally started NC in early March.

What is it about the holidays or birthdays? It was HIS birthday and I was so excited - got him a very nice gift and took him out. He proceeded to humiliate me in the restaurant. Valentines Day was even worse. Totally raged on me even though I doted on him, made something special and he couldn't even get me a card.

What's the deal with these days? Anyone?

[LoveNYC]

My ex was at his absolute WORST on Thanksgiving, his birthday and Valentines Day. He was SO awful this past Valentines Day, that I never saw him in person again and finally started NC in early March.

What is it about the holidays or birthdays? It was HIS birthday and I was so excited - got him a very nice gift and took him out. He proceeded to humiliate me in the restaurant. Valentines Day was even worse. Totally raged on me even though I doted on him, made something special and he couldn't even get me a card.

What's the deal with these days? Anyone?

[redberry]

Mine was extra crazy on holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, trips...  And I could have sworn, for full moons too!

I think it's anything that deviates from their normal routine.  Often with all of these (except full moon ), there is added pressure on the BPD to do something or spend money (which, in my ex's case was triggering because he didn't have any money!).  Plus, holidays or our birthdays put extra attention on us or others and they don't like that.  For their birthdays, valentines, anniversary dates, we are doing things that reflect intimacy and they don't really do that either.  A whole mess of dysfunction.

[LoveNYC]

The intimacy theory makes perfect sense.

[Simpleone]

Every single holiday with my stbx was the worst holiday of my life. Christmas was especially bad.
I think that because holidays revolve around family and past childhoods, and my stbx had burned bridges with each and every one of his family members (except his mother),  I believe holidays triggered him. He would do things with mom on holidays, but he generally didnt like her, either. The holidays he and I had were spent alone together, and he was just awful- he made the holidays terrible. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and July 4th were the worst.

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