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Think About It... Some members think of "triangulation" as a dysfunctional behavior perpetrated on them by a person with BPD. And why not - this is how we often see triangles when we are in them and the '"odd man out"! However, seeing it this way is exactly the opposite of what we want to do to end the drama.. ~ Skippy
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Author Topic: I did it I blocked him  (Read 452 times)
sadblueeyes
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« on: April 29, 2012, 02:04:21 PM »

I finally got the strength to block him from my phone! This may sound silly, but this is a huge step for me! I sent him goodbye text and told him I was blocking him which I've never done before and then I put the block on. No more re-engagements, no more tricky lies to suck me back in and no more checking my phone every 10 minutes. It's a new day!
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luckystrikes
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« Reply #1 on: April 29, 2012, 02:44:43 PM »

great job, sadblueeyes  Doing the right thing  

i actually never got around to blocking. part of it was wanting her to keep tabs on me, part of it was because time had passed, and i just didnt want to do anything overt. doesnt matter either way, at this point, fortunately.

and it isnt silly, it is a big step, and you should celebrate. i found my ex invading the email attached to my facebook. i let it go on for about a month, monitoring her behavior. when i finally changed the password i experienced a little bit of depression, as it was shutting another door, and now id have no confirmation she was keeping tabs. so, if that happens to you, dont be too surprised, but take this, feel empowered, and do celebrate smiley 
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what became of love
at first sign of out of sight
was out of mind
and painted black over night
Carri1
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« Reply #2 on: April 29, 2012, 03:20:25 PM »

Good Job Blocking!  I know it isn't easy at first but it sure is nice to not look at the phone all the time.  A new found Freedom!  Keep up the Great job!

Carri
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Sabine
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« Reply #3 on: April 29, 2012, 03:52:06 PM »

I finally got the strength to block him from my phone! This may sound silly, but this is a huge step for me! I sent him goodbye text and told him I was blocking him which I've never done before and then I put the block on. No more re-engagements, no more tricky lies to suck me back in and no more checking my phone every 10 minutes. It's a new day!

sadblueeyes, This is a HUGE step towards recovery! Believe me it is not silly quite the contrary as it shows you are ready to be serious about getting well!

I didn't do NC very well the first time around, I let his emails come to me and his text messages too long. I didn't respond to them but I would read them and that was agony! He was so good at writing the most endearing messages of love and honor...omg, it would set me back every time. Those 'tricky lies' did their job! Truth is I was still being emotionally controlled by him I'd read one!

This time...(about 2 1/2 months ago), I did FULL/STRICT NC. I decided if I was really serious about getting well I needed to trust the process and the good people on this board and cut him off. After all what the heck did I have to lose? lol

I felt freedom right away too...congrats! Lean on us for strength and guidance too!  Empathy  grin
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This board is for members with failed or failing relationships that want to detach from their relationship and relationship wounds. If you are still analyzing the decision to stay, please post on Undecided: Staying or Leaving
All members living with a pwBPD should learn to use the Stop the Bleeding tools - boundaries, timeouts and other basic tools - to better manage the day to day interactions with your partner. If you have questions on any of the tools, feel free to go over to Staying: Improving a Relationship with a Borderline Partner and ask for help. :-)
BlushAndBashful
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« Reply #4 on: April 29, 2012, 03:58:40 PM »

 Doing the right thing

I haven't done any of the NC tactics this time around, but in the past, it was a HUGE relief to block his email address. I would be a nervous wreck waiting and waiting for the emails, wondering if they would be pleasant or nasty, and incredibly hurt when there weren't any. As soon as I blocked his ways of communication, I felt the weight of the world lifting off my shoulders. Sad, yes, because I really did want to hear from him (that was long before I knew about BPD)- but I found that inner peace by doing so.
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Sabine
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« Reply #5 on: April 29, 2012, 04:27:35 PM »

Doing the right thing

I haven't done any of the NC tactics this time around, but in the past, it was a HUGE relief to block his email address. I would be a nervous wreck waiting and waiting for the emails, wondering if they would be pleasant or nasty, and incredibly hurt when there weren't any. As soon as I blocked his ways of communication, I felt the weight of the world lifting off my shoulders. Sad, yes, because I really did want to hear from him (that was long before I knew about BPD)- but I found that inner peace by doing so.

Mauser, how come you don't do NC this time? I may have missed something in past posts of yours, so forgive me, but are you saying you haven't blocked him this time?   ?
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sadblueeyes
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« Reply #6 on: April 29, 2012, 04:41:12 PM »

The best part is I won't be hurt by his sarcastic responses to my goodbye texts or any lame attempts of his to contact me. What I don't know won't hurt me, right? I knew on the last go round when he contacted me and I responded that I am not strong enough to just ignore and I promised myself the next time I would block him, so I wouldn't be tempted to respond in a moment of weakness.

I also set my email filters to have his emails go straight to spam. I'm sure at this point he is confident he will be able to get me back, as this isn't the first time I've ended it, just to let him re-engage me later. I think he'll realize I'm serious when weeks and months go by and I don't respond!

I know I have a ways to go. I'm sure more anger and sadness to come, but I'm counting on the posters that say it will get easier with time. Thanks for your support. smiley
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hijodeganas
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« Reply #7 on: April 30, 2012, 08:27:29 AM »

I distinctly remember the first time I deleted her from my phone and social networks.  Not even blocked, just deleted.

My path to recovery was comparatively easier than most people's, but that was still probably the hardest part (after dealing with the b/u).  It was an intriguing feeling.  The sadness/depression finally settled in, but something left me: the anxiety.  It was a mixture of grief and relief accompanied by one thought: "There, it's done."

But with time I readjusted and felt like celebrating.

Everyone's right: It was a HUGE step.  Probably the most important.
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"The only remedy for love is to love more."  - Henry Thoreau
abovebeyond
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« Reply #8 on: April 30, 2012, 08:40:16 AM »

How does one go about blocking them on a cell phone. I'm with ATT.

Any advice? Do you have to go through Customer Service?
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Sabine
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« Reply #9 on: April 30, 2012, 08:42:32 AM »

I don't ATT but with my carrier I had to call Customer Service. They will do it for you over the phone. Good Luck!  Doing the right thing
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