About school, past

[Think About It....]

Hello,

Sometimes I dont know why I always feel a need to tell people what I think, sounds a bit BPD ish maybe.

For ages now, I have felt a sence of injustice over how school neglected dd, given the fact they were seeing her every day crying, not coping, being late for lessons, finding her wondering around aimlesly, self harming, truanting, no friends etc.

Shouldnt they have noticed her having panic attacks. She was even seeing a counsellor there who should of guessed, and she sould of been assesed to see what was wrong with her, instead they treated her like a bad rebelious teenager. They had also had our other 3 children through the school all with no problems.

Well, I finally wrote them a letter yesterday, its a good one, no spelling mistakes and my older dd changed it a bit to make it look more professional.

On  the news today, they are talking about post natal depression. After all these years they are finally going to be watching new mothers more carefully they are going to get the same midwife so that she can keep an eye on the mother after or something like that. The government are going to be training midwives in what to look out for, they want them to see the signs before it gets too serious.

They spoke to some women who had had this, they said the only way they could describe this illness was hell. Yet thats not life long for them is it, made me a bit sad re BPD.

So I now think schools should look out for this BPD illness starting up, like with my dd, she probably had at least 7 to 8 symptoms of BPD when she was age 13 she also had lots of symptoms of adhd. Not rebelious behaviour.

Two months ago, dd was in the psychiatric unit, its 11 miles away from home. She said everyone in there seemed to be from her school, they need to be helping these people more. DBT would help, even if not BPD I think.

Then I read about Sacha CoureyMenu, her parents are going into schools to educate about BPD.

My older nonBPD d was 7, I noticed her behaviour was changing, she was becoming what looked rebelious she seemed frustrated, the teacher was starting to say that dd was not doing well, yet I knew without a doubt she was clever. I pushed and pushed for help and she was diagnosed dyslexia. We had to move schools because they wouldnt help her and they were not listening to me. Her reading age went up 3 years within 3 months at the new school where they were helping her. My point is, her behaviour changed, she was a perfect model student because they gave her stratagies not punishments. They saw her as dyslexic and not rebelious.

When no one was helping her she even got depressed, I remember walking her to school shed cry all the way there, then stop so no one would see her when we got to the gate.

[heronbird]

Hello,

Sometimes I dont know why I always feel a need to tell people what I think, sounds a bit BPD ish maybe.

For ages now, I have felt a sence of injustice over how school neglected dd, given the fact they were seeing her every day crying, not coping, being late for lessons, finding her wondering around aimlesly, self harming, truanting, no friends etc.

Shouldnt they have noticed her having panic attacks. She was even seeing a counsellor there who should of guessed, and she sould of been assesed to see what was wrong with her, instead they treated her like a bad rebelious teenager. They had also had our other 3 children through the school all with no problems.

Well, I finally wrote them a letter yesterday, its a good one, no spelling mistakes and my older dd changed it a bit to make it look more professional.

On  the news today, they are talking about post natal depression. After all these years they are finally going to be watching new mothers more carefully they are going to get the same midwife so that she can keep an eye on the mother after or something like that. The government are going to be training midwives in what to look out for, they want them to see the signs before it gets too serious.

They spoke to some women who had had this, they said the only way they could describe this illness was hell. Yet thats not life long for them is it, made me a bit sad re BPD.

So I now think schools should look out for this BPD illness starting up, like with my dd, she probably had at least 7 to 8 symptoms of BPD when she was age 13 she also had lots of symptoms of adhd. Not rebelious behaviour.

Two months ago, dd was in the psychiatric unit, its 11 miles away from home. She said everyone in there seemed to be from her school, they need to be helping these people more. DBT would help, even if not BPD I think.

Then I read about Sacha CoureyMenu, her parents are going into schools to educate about BPD.

My older nonBPD d was 7, I noticed her behaviour was changing, she was becoming what looked rebelious she seemed frustrated, the teacher was starting to say that dd was not doing well, yet I knew without a doubt she was clever. I pushed and pushed for help and she was diagnosed dyslexia. We had to move schools because they wouldnt help her and they were not listening to me. Her reading age went up 3 years within 3 months at the new school where they were helping her. My point is, her behaviour changed, she was a perfect model student because they gave her stratagies not punishments. They saw her as dyslexic and not rebelious.

When no one was helping her she even got depressed, I remember walking her to school shed cry all the way there, then stop so no one would see her when we got to the gate.

[Reality]

To me, it is inexcusable that your daughter was not given help by school professionals.  Mental health is just emerging in society's consciousness and it seems to be the experience of many people on this board, doesn't it?  So tough, heronbird.
I am in awe of Sacha's parents doing advocacy for BPD less than a year after their daughter's suicide.  It gives me courage to go to Camh today to advocate for my son.
Reality

[griz]

Heronbird:  I couldn't agree with you more.  Schools don't seem to get this at all.  When my daughter started showing signs such as cryng, self harm, truancy and almost no coping skills they also wanted to label her as a rebellious teenager.  I must say I am very lucky to have had a school social worker in my corner who was willing to fight the fight with me and get as many people on board as she could.  I remember sitting in a meeting with dd's teachers, a few who seemed to have issues with her self harming behavior and the social worker said to them.  This is dd's way of speaking to us.  She does not have the words right now and this is how she is choosing to speak... we must listen.  It was one of the few moments where I felt some what vindicated.  Someone understood and maybe we could get others to understand also.  I am not quite as brave as Sacha's parents yet and I hope I never have to lose a child to this terrible disease but this is my greatest fear.  For right now I am doing the little things that I can to bring awareness to those around me.  I no longer hang my head in shame because I have a child who is "defective" as someone once called her.  I speak openly to people about it.  I try as hard as I can to enlighten people around me and I am a constant advocate for her.  I am glad you wrote a letter to your school.  I don't know if you have a department for special education but if you do it might also be a great place to get involed.  Our SE department has parent advocates that come to CSE meetings and I have offered to be a volunteer parent.  You sit in on meetings for other children as sort of an advocate and you can help others navigate the system.

My hope is that someday the world will see mental illness no differently than they see a physical illness and they will give these children the same respect.

Griz