Not to be a jerk, but do you know what paragraphs are? They make it much easier to read when topics and subtopics are broken up into manageable chunks. I read the previous posts by mirdin, and while insightful they would be much more effective if broken up into readable chunks (paragraphs) instead of 18th century multi-page paragraphs.
Think of the new person here who is in the midst of being painted black, and their entire world has come crashing down. It's a little hard to concentrate under those conditions.
You're not a jerk, and you are right, and I did write the story will be more "structured". I know what you mean and I agree with you, but you can be just a little more gentle in stating your opinions, other than that, no worries, no offense taken at all
Not to be a jerk, but do you know what paragraphs are? They make it much easier to read when topics and subtopics are broken up into manageable chunks. I read the previous posts by mirdin, and while insightful they would be much more effective if broken up into readable chunks (paragraphs) instead of 18th century multi-page paragraphs.
Think of the new person here who is in the midst of being painted black, and their entire world has come crashing down. It's a little hard to concentrate under those conditions.
WOW!...After all he shared with us.After all the heart and soul he opened up with.After becoming VULNERABLE.And all you got to say is this..WOW,WOW,WOW...You sound like my Dad and Ex..You may have ''traits'' of BPD...rolmfao...
Maybe you should of sent him a PM in ''private''.Don't you think that would of been a bit more Polite.Then to SHAME him on here.?
I shared because someone might learn from it, I did open up, but I did not become vulnerable because I am over my ex, therefore rethinking the story and everything that happened and has been said helps further.
I was vulnerable and when I was vulnerable that was when my ex could play the mindgames. Since she can't, and since I learned so many things, she cannot do any further damage. This is what YOU need to do as well, not to be vulnerable.
He did not put me to shame, and I do recognize my mistakes and I could be honest and tell you it was 3 AM when I wrote it, but it matters not, he is right and you are right as well. I should of made it more structured and he could of PM'd me, it will be done next time, which is now
PS: What he said and how he said it is far from a BPD trait
Let;s try not to judge people by their cover
EDIT: I think you missed his last sentence, in which it's clear he is or was through a hard breakup, possibly with a BPD, in a way, he did apologize, I noticed it later as well. It is VERY hard to concentrate when your world comes crashing down, you are painted black and you are trying to make sense of what just happened.
Loved your post, Merlin.
I have a question. How do the four types look (hermit, queen, etc.) look? Can you define them? Can they switch from one to another?
I'm a female and my ex was male. But he was very "waif-ish" at times.
I'd appreciate your insight.
I really liked it how you made the connection between my nickname "Mirdin" and from where it comes from, even if you did not notice, that made me smile
About the 4 different BPD traits, they can switch and they can combine traits, which makes them harder to spot. But each has their own unique traits.
Borderline Queen:Driven by feelings of emptiness and unable to soothe themselves, Queens do what it takes to get what they feel they so richly deserve--including vindictive acts like blackmail. Initially they may impress others with their social graces. But when "friends" can no longer deliver, the Queen cuts them off without a thought. Queens are capable of real manipulation (vs. more primitive BP defenses) to get what they desire.
Their Motto: "It's all about me!"
Bordelrine Witch:Witches want power and control over others so that others do not abandon them. When someone or something triggers the Witches' abandonment fear, these Borderlines can become brutal and full of rage, even punishing or hurting family members who stand in their way. These types of Borderlines are most resistant to treatment: they will not allow others to help and the source of self-loathing is very deep.
Their Motto: "Life is too hard"
Borderline Hermit:The hard shell makes these Borderlines appear confident, determined, independent, and even socially graceful. But it's a veneer. Like many Borderlines, hermits show one face to the world and another to everyone else. Close family members experience, "distrust, perfectionism, insecurity, anxiety, rage and paranoia". They hold everyone to same ideal of perfection, punishing others by raging or shutting them out. Hermits fear losing themselves, which translates into possessiveness about their belongings.
Borderline Waif: (The most familiar to me so I have a little more info)-The Waif often does not rage externally. They do not lash out and put you down like other Borderlines. Instead, their rage is held or directed inside.
-The Borderline Waif is often very feminine, and demure.
-They often display an immature nature or speak in a youthful voice. (Not always applicable and notice the OR in the sentence)
-The Borderline Waif is often a high-functioning Borderline. They have professional careers and perform well there.
-They have an incredible ability to put on a happy, fun front socially, keeping their true self hidden from social and professional acquaintances.
-They play the victim role well. They appear in need of your help and often are readily accepting the help and assistance from others, but still seeing themselves as independent.
-They are very sexual and often move very quickly into sexual situations. (Even if they reject you for sex, this trait is not always applicable, sometimes they reject sex altogether)
-They do not accept responsibility and rarely if ever are they the source of their life_
