Last nite was uBPDbf D18's senior prom and I was to go w/him to see her before. I didn't go because when I came home from work dressed in a dress with bare legs and summer shoes, he started raging and calling me disgusting names. Mind you, I was dressed completely appropriately for my age, job and the weather - he disagrees. Anyway, he screamed at me that I was not getting in the car with him. I ignored him and started doing some stuff around the house and he left.
When he came back, he was still raging and I made a calm point that our r/s is the way it is due to his obsessive jealousy. He agreed that he's jealous but admitted he'll never change and told me (for the millionth time) that its my fault ... if I dressed different, etc. there would be no problems. Yea right
I left the house and went out for a 40 minute walk. When I came back, he was completely calm and seemed apologetic. Honestly, I was still upset with his outburst and wanted no part of him, but I made the conscious decision to try to connect with him since he seemed to be trying. I did some radical acceptance in my mind and thought about how good things were with us before we lived together. I told myself that he's ill and that won't change. Anyway, the rest of the evening was pretty decent.
I was hoping that what I said about his jealousy, which I tried to say in a calm, rational way, started to penetrate his mind. I know I'm being too hopeful, but it was at least a decent 3 hours until bedtime.