"True", but I am still ticked off

[Think About It....]

Theres nothing like the love of a parent to motivate us to help, and Ps are not emotionally attached, I really feel with most of them, well, what are they doing on a Sunday afternoon, having a lovely family time I guess, not giving our kids a thought... what are we doing? Sorry, I know that sounds bad but I am a realistic thinker.

Heron,

Bringing this up, as I had to do a followup call to the Pdoc to set dd's next appt.  DD would not call Pdoc after three days.  So I made sure the gal at the appt desk knew that dd did not want to call, that I was calling and the only day that works for DD are Fridays.  Do not have anything till middle of July.  So, in context with your quote above, IF Pdoc is so concerned about dd's follow up, and knows that Fridays are her only option, maybe she would make an extra 15 minutes at the end of some Friday a bit sooner.  You already know the answer, don't you, it was NO WAY.    They have to stick to their rigid schedules, and not to serving their patieints. 

mikmik

[mikmik]

Theres nothing like the love of a parent to motivate us to help, and Ps are not emotionally attached, I really feel with most of them, well, what are they doing on a Sunday afternoon, having a lovely family time I guess, not giving our kids a thought... what are we doing? Sorry, I know that sounds bad but I am a realistic thinker.

Heron,

Bringing this up, as I had to do a followup call to the Pdoc to set dd's next appt.  DD would not call Pdoc after three days.  So I made sure the gal at the appt desk knew that dd did not want to call, that I was calling and the only day that works for DD are Fridays.  Do not have anything till middle of July.  So, in context with your quote above, IF Pdoc is so concerned about dd's follow up, and knows that Fridays are her only option, maybe she would make an extra 15 minutes at the end of some Friday a bit sooner.  You already know the answer, don't you, it was NO WAY.    They have to stick to their rigid schedules, and not to serving their patieints. 

mikmik

[heronbird]

Yes Mikmik, thats typical I have too had exactly same thing. Valerie Porr says if she is seeing anyone with BPD she would always make their appts for after 2pm because she knows they often cant do mornings as asleep. Our P tried to insist on 10am, thats mean I think.

I dont know about you but for us, the Ps all go home at 5pm, so if dd gets bad after 5 its a nightmare, and of course it is always after 5 .
Oh yes, they offer family therapy at ours, wow, arent they good. How are we supposed to go, its only between 9 to 5, I work dh works, so do our other children, do they really expect us to have time off every week, will they pay our mortgage for us if we loose our jobs
So we never did family T. I didnt like the T anyway. She kept saying isnt that what all tennagers do ? ? ?

[twojaybirds]

I guess in their defense they are setting healthy boudnaries for themselves.
I have had 6pm and 7pm appts with our p. but he is older with grandchildren.   

I knew a young psych who worked 6 days a week in two clinics.  She lasted less than a year in the profession.

[mikmik]

twojays,

Boundaries are needed all the way around.  And good for me to realize that Pdocs are not therapists.  Their lives are built around meds and 15 minute visits once a month, not ongoing weekly sessions.

Perspective is always good.

mikmik

[vivekananda]

What a powerful thread.

My experiences with Ts is generally unsatisfactory. But there have been some goodies. I think it pays to know what you want and to be quietly assertive from the outset. As soon as you show you are needy, then you are being analysed.

Having said that I am proud of you all for standing up for yourselves in the face of a world that doesn't seem to understand.

Good luck with your advocacy/support group, mikmik. I was thinking a way to start may be to go about it like a book group. Select pieces you could read - not a whole book, but articles or chapters and then as a group meet to discuss them. It would be easy to draw up a reading list. I think you'd need to know how to select people to invite... and be careful in case any people would undermine the group because of their own mental health concerns. That'd be the hard bit, but if you started with just a couple, it'd be great. Then you'd have status as someone who knows and those medicos would treat you with more respect!

   

[heronbird]

Ok, I dont want to labour the point but why cant the clinic where my dd attends (on NHS) open one evening a week, then the therapists could work from 1pm to 8 or something one or two days a week. I bet they would if they were private.

Dr Bateman is happy to meet with me after work, so they obviously open late, he is NHS
Nevermind, its not a perfect world is it. It might be if I ran it though

[INFORMATION ABOUT THE 'SUPPORTING A CHILD' BOARD]

INFORMATION ABOUT THE 'SUPPORTING A CHILD' BOARD Our objective is to learn how to support our loved ones and to find peace and understanding in our own lives. There is real help and real hope available for families. For information and guidelines please click here :

[mikmik]

Heron,

You are absolutely correct.  The office hours for treatment should consider the work lives of those they serve.  So many families of pwBPD have to take off work to tend to BPD, that additional time off may not be easy to do without having job security threatened.

Here, my dd's T when she comes back works till nine at night two days a week, and works a Saturday.  The medical docs are different. 

ViveK,

Knowing what I know now, going forward, I will "interview" P's and T's first.  Maybe that could be a new thread, Interview Questions for the Professionals.  We are hiring them afterall.  Perhaps this is the appraoch we need to take so we have the answers before they begin treating our loved ones.

mikmik

mik

[SmileAnyway]

Yes, great idea for a new thread
 

[frustratedmom]

MikMik -
New thread P/T questions?

How long have you been treating pwBPD's?
What is the age range of people you generally treat?
What is your success rate?
Are you reachable for emergencies? (ours you had to wait 24 hours, and if they were dead so be it...)
What do you think of RTC?
When would you use RTC?
What kind of drugs have you found successful or not and why?
Do you recommend any kind of educational modifications?
Do you use any kind of contracts or consequence/reward therapy? (RED FLAG)
Do you have a family member with BPD?
Do you have BPD?
Do you have children?

Do you LIKE YOUR PARENTS? 

[heronbird]

Valerie Porr has a list in her book, I remember reading that when dd had been in T for a year and thinking how silly I was not asking all those questions, such a brilliant idea eh.

[mikmik]

Frustratedmom,

Can you cut and paste your ideas in a new thread?  I think this could be so empowering and so helpful to those of us who need to interview new Ps or Ts, or for those of us who want to reestablish crudentials.

Let me know what you think.

mik

[frustratedmom]

MikMik - sure - now that we're not going to therapy I have tons of questions! Go figure!