Living in the Past

[Think About It...]

Just curious..  I'm not sure if I have BPD or if he does.  What I can tell you, he's very abusive.  Extremely jealous.  Absolutely read something into all my Facebook posts from me or my friends.  The worst part was the name calling.  And, it always centered on my past relationships.  One being with my child's father.  He couldn't accept that I had a child with another man.  Due to health issues, I cannot have anymore children.  He just wouldn't accept that.  If he wasn't focused on my child's father, it would be someone else I dated in my past.  I was trying to move forward, not backwards.  It seemed he couldn't forgive things that happened way before he came into my life.  Has anyone else experienced this?

[BackinBlack]

Just curious..  I'm not sure if I have BPD or if he does.  What I can tell you, he's very abusive.  Extremely jealous.  Absolutely read something into all my Facebook posts from me or my friends.  The worst part was the name calling.  And, it always centered on my past relationships.  One being with my child's father.  He couldn't accept that I had a child with another man.  Due to health issues, I cannot have anymore children.  He just wouldn't accept that.  If he wasn't focused on my child's father, it would be someone else I dated in my past.  I was trying to move forward, not backwards.  It seemed he couldn't forgive things that happened way before he came into my life.  Has anyone else experienced this?

[sirhero]

Just curious..  I'm not sure if I have BPD or if he does.  What I can tell you, he's very abusive.  Extremely jealous.  Absolutely read something into all my Facebook posts from me or my friends.  The worst part was the name calling.  And, it always centered on my past relationships.  One being with my child's father.  He couldn't accept that I had a child with another man.  Due to health issues, I cannot have anymore children.  He just wouldn't accept that.  If he wasn't focused on my child's father, it would be someone else I dated in my past.  I was trying to move forward, not backwards.  It seemed he couldn't forgive things that happened way before he came into my life.  Has anyone else experienced this?

Mind does this all the time, though its always about arguments we had or something wrong I did. It won't get brought up until she starts to dysregulate then she'll bring up every little thing wrong I did instead of just moving forward...something I don't think they can do at all.

[BackinBlack]

So, it all comes down to the fact he'll never change.  He refuses to seek treatment.  I started going to a therapist during one of our longer breaks (2 months).  She told me if I got back together with him to never come back to treatment with her.  So, when I once again tried to make it work, I stopped therapy.

The problem is me.  I am always the one that goes back.  Usually I do well until I see him at work.  And, it seems he goes out of his way to run into me in the halls.  Now I'm on a project with him.  I can't let go.  I just can't.  I've read some of the articles on this board, but following through...I can't seem to do.  2 months was the longest I maintained NC. 

[sirhero]

So, it all comes down to the fact he'll never change.  He refuses to seek treatment.  I started going to a therapist during one of our longer breaks (2 months).  She told me if I got back together with him to never come back to treatment with her.  So, when I once again tried to make it work, I stopped therapy.

The problem is me.  I am always the one that goes back.  Usually I do well until I see him at work.  And, it seems he goes out of his way to run into me in the halls.  Now I'm on a project with him.  I can't let go.  I just can't.  I've read some of the articles on this board, but following through...I can't seem to do.  2 months was the longest I maintained NC. 

Mine currently painted me black yesterday out of nowhere so right now we're not together and I'm not sure I want to go back this time it's getting old. No he will never change unless he seeks help you'll have a good few weeks then back to the disaster at least for me thats how it is for me. She called me three times yesterday after she kicked me out, but I didn't pick and i will not contact her until I choose to if I do...

[GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Are you on the right board?]

GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Are you on the right board? This board is for members with failed or failing relationships that want to detach from their relationship and relationship wounds. If you are still analyzing the decision to stay, please post on Undecided: Staying or Leaving All members living with a pwBPD should learn to use the Stop the Bleeding tools - boundaries, timeouts and other basic tools - to better manage the day to day interactions with your partner. If you have questions on any of the tools, feel free to go over to Staying: Improving a Relationship with a Borderline Partner and ask for help. :-)

[GreenMango]

So, it all comes down to the fact he'll never change.  He refuses to seek treatment.  I started going to a therapist during one of our longer breaks (2 months).  She told me if I got back together with him to never come back to treatment with her.  So, when I once again tried to make it work, I stopped therapy.

The problem is me.  I am always the one that goes back.  Usually I do well until I see him at work.  And, it seems he goes out of his way to run into me in the halls.  Now I'm on a project with him.  I can't let go.  I just can't.  I've read some of the articles on this board, but following through...I can't seem to do.  2 months was the longest I maintained NC. 

BIB,

Can you start therapy with a different therapist at this point? 

Since you have to interact with him at work and full NC is not an option, NC can be a frame of mind.  Keep it professional and business only.  Which articles have you read?  And were you looking for something specific?

GM