Not good timing for internet malfunction

[Think About It...]

Some of you may have read my thread about him sending me a letter and gift card in the mail... I will not respond and will remain NC.

BUT today my email account blew up with all these 'postmaster delivery errors' when I opened them they were carrying an advertisement link that at went out to my contact list in groups - from my account!

Not everybody got them but my exBPD's email is listed in one of the distribution groups. UGH! Meaning it looks like I sent him some random email TODAY! I realize there is nothing I can do at this point but the timing couldn't be worse. I don't want him to think I purposely was trying contact him after he sent that letter and gift card.

I'm hoping he'll see the email for what it is and that it came to him as a malfunction! grrrr...

Unbelievable.

[Sabine]

Some of you may have read my thread about him sending me a letter and gift card in the mail... I will not respond and will remain NC.

BUT today my email account blew up with all these 'postmaster delivery errors' when I opened them they were carrying an advertisement link that at went out to my contact list in groups - from my account!

Not everybody got them but my exBPD's email is listed in one of the distribution groups. UGH! Meaning it looks like I sent him some random email TODAY! I realize there is nothing I can do at this point but the timing couldn't be worse. I don't want him to think I purposely was trying contact him after he sent that letter and gift card.

I'm hoping he'll see the email for what it is and that it came to him as a malfunction! grrrr...

Unbelievable.

[goinbonkers]

i feel it doesn't matter what he does.  it does matter what you do with what he does.

[Sabine]

Some of you may have read my thread about him sending me a letter and gift card in the mail... I will not respond and will remain NC.

Thanks goinbonkers! I stand firm on my NC commitment, but it's unbelievable that something that lame (like a phantom email to an ex) could send me into 'paranoia land'! It's also a good feeling how much I want to protect my NC, it's like I earned my NC and to have a malfunction email take that away just bugs!

[Hamakua]

If it's any consolation, my UexBPDgf's old account had the same thing happen to it pretty much at the "apex" of our NC game of chicken.  I strongly doubt she actually sent me what she sent and read and interpret the email as a fluke.  I derive no new meaning from it and know she didn't send it.

You know you didn't "send" the email that was sent in your name so don't let it add any new info to the equation.  There is nothing you can do now anyway.  If NC is your goal, maintain NC. 

It doesn't matter what he thinks about what, from my understanding, we are dealing with people who will re-write reality to mean whatever they want it to mean at the moment they are re-writing it.

Look at it another way, even if it wasn't sent out and he wanted to believe you contacted him/wanted to contact him, he would engineer or convince himself in someway that that's what really happened.  I wouldn't worry if I were you.

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GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Are you on the right board? This board is for members with failed or failing relationships that want to detach from their relationship and relationship wounds. If you are still analyzing the decision to stay, please post on Undecided: Staying or Leaving All members living with a pwBPD should learn to use the Stop the Bleeding tools - boundaries, timeouts and other basic tools - to better manage the day to day interactions with your partner. If you have questions on any of the tools, feel free to go over to Staying: Improving a Relationship with a Borderline Partner and ask for help. :-)

[Sabine]

Thanks Hamakua,

You're right about everything you said...I already feel better.