Worst she has ever been

[Think About It...]

Well, it has been a little over a year since I have visited so I thought I would let you know whats going on.  My D is now going to be 19 in 28 days and since she turned 18 all heck has broke loose.  She dropped out of school her Senior year even though she could've graduated early in January.  She did however get her GED right away.  (For whatever that's worth).  She has gotten 4 tatoo's and counting.  She is on her second abusive relationship.  This guy is even worse than the first one.  She comes and goes and she pleases.  She moves out and then is back in a few weeks because he can't handle her either.  I had to change the locks on my door because she has stolen anything worth anything in my house.  She thinks it belongs to her.  She has been arrested for possesion of pot, resisting arrest, battery against a police officer and criminal mischief.  I have tried to help her since she was 13 but all I get in responce is cursed at, hit, kicked, bloodied nose, pushed, bit, ect.  Daily I am reminded of how i am a worless piece of sh***.  How much she hates me and how I have ruined her life.  And much more.  She is drinking and doing drugs.  Her Doctor switched her meds to Lithium and Clonapin.(sp).  It is not working.  She told me a couple of weeks ago she feels so bad she phically hurts inside.  After months of trying to get her to talk with Doc to change her meds, she decided to make an appointment.  At the last minute she didn't go.  I don't know what else I can do.  I want her gone but there is no where for her to go.  If I could afford an apartment for her I would do that in a heart beat.  But for now I guess I just suffer along.

[lost angels]

Well, it has been a little over a year since I have visited so I thought I would let you know whats going on.  My D is now going to be 19 in 28 days and since she turned 18 all heck has broke loose.  She dropped out of school her Senior year even though she could've graduated early in January.  She did however get her GED right away.  (For whatever that's worth).  She has gotten 4 tatoo's and counting.  She is on her second abusive relationship.  This guy is even worse than the first one.  She comes and goes and she pleases.  She moves out and then is back in a few weeks because he can't handle her either.  I had to change the locks on my door because she has stolen anything worth anything in my house.  She thinks it belongs to her.  She has been arrested for possesion of pot, resisting arrest, battery against a police officer and criminal mischief.  I have tried to help her since she was 13 but all I get in responce is cursed at, hit, kicked, bloodied nose, pushed, bit, ect.  Daily I am reminded of how i am a worless piece of sh***.  How much she hates me and how I have ruined her life.  And much more.  She is drinking and doing drugs.  Her Doctor switched her meds to Lithium and Clonapin.(sp).  It is not working.  She told me a couple of weeks ago she feels so bad she phically hurts inside.  After months of trying to get her to talk with Doc to change her meds, she decided to make an appointment.  At the last minute she didn't go.  I don't know what else I can do.  I want her gone but there is no where for her to go.  If I could afford an apartment for her I would do that in a heart beat.  But for now I guess I just suffer along.

[jessicapuppy]

Hi there Lost Angels

I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through such a tough time!   

I can imagine you're feeling pretty exhausted right now!  What a mix of emotions you must have, going on!

I know how hard it is to ignore the comments that are making you feel worthless, but you are very clearly an absolute star!  You are a caring person, who is trying hard to do right by her daughter, and who loves her very much. 

As is the case with most of us here, at least at some point, you are really feeling the weight of things right now, and I'm so glad that you've come back to us, to share your situation.  What would we all do, if we couldn't share our stories and support each other?

Do you have a therapist for yourself, at the moment?  How much support do you have from anyone else, in terms of friends or family.

Sending postive thoughts your way   

JP
x

[Thursday]

Hi Lost Angels,

I can relate to much of what you are currently experiencing and so sorry to hear this is what you are experiencing. The pwBPD in my life is my SD20. She will be 21 very soon and has done a rehab, lived a year in a sober house and is doing so much better than 18-19. That year was simply awful.'

Boundaries have worked well for us...at least to save our sanity. She is sober and still has problems and issues but is no longer under our roof and thus in many cases she has to solve her own problems. AT very least she has developed some other outlets for who to go to when her going gets rough. She doesn't always listen to these other folks, just like she didn't really ever listen to us. But her mistakes are now her own, which is easier on us, especially on her Dad. Her Mom died when SD was 13.

We've gotten a lot of insight and help from going to Alanon meetings.

I don't know how we could have coped if SD had been in an abusive relationship. She dabbled shortly in a bad relationship at 17 with a much older boy but he dumped her quickly after using her for sexual relief a few times. Ack. I feel for you lost, and hope somehow things will get easier for you.

How have you handled her arrests? Do you immediately bail her out? Is she working? Is there any way you can make her living with you contingent upon sobriety, having a job and staying out of trouble?

You don't mention a husband or her father. Do you have some support?

Will keep you in my thoughts ...

thursday