What goes around...

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

She gained another 100 pounds!

Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to me
*sings*

This is even better then choking on my free meal at Dennys.

[FriedaB]

She gained another 100 pounds!

Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to me
*sings*

This is even better then choking on my free meal at Dennys.

[Thepatman]

your lucky, mine lost some and looks even hotter then ever. Crap!

[FriedaB]

You reap what you sow, patman...her day is coming.

Mine stole pain medication from a dying child..now she weighs 300 pounds. There IS a god.

[ellil]

I don't even know what my ex looks like. Frieda, how is it you know this? 

M

[GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Are you on the right board?]

GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Are you on the right board? This board is for members with failed or failing relationships that want to detach from their relationship and relationship wounds. If you are still analyzing the decision to stay, please post on Undecided: Staying or Leaving All members living with a pwBPD should learn to use the Stop the Bleeding tools - boundaries, timeouts and other basic tools - to better manage the day to day interactions with your partner. If you have questions on any of the tools, feel free to go over to Staying: Improving a Relationship with a Borderline Partner and ask for help. :-)

[FriedaB]

Our parents grew up together so you know, word (and photos) get around...

[ellil]

I gotta tell you, if word got around to me my ex gained 100 pounds, I'd probably get satisfaction out of it. I can't wait til I get to the point where I wouldn't care one way or the other.

 

M

[FriedaB]

Actually 150...but, hey whose counting?  All those antipsychotics  they have her on at rehab...

[seeking balance]

Wow - your birthday present is that your mentally ill ex is now physically unhealthy and this makes you happy? 

At the number of posts you have, do you think it might be time to start looking at your own motivations and anger and perhaps spend some time on personal inventory so you can get "unstuck"?

You must be really hurt if you are cheering the destruction of a mentally ill person 

[LoveNYC]

Wow - your birthday present is that your mentally ill ex is now physically unhealthy and this makes you happy? 

At the number of posts you have, do you think it might be time to start looking at your own motivations and anger and perhaps spend some time on personal inventory so you can get "unstuck"?

You must be really hurt if you are cheering the destruction of a mentally ill person 

SB, "mental illness" does not abdicate personal responsibility. I liked then to alcoholics who repeatedly drive drunk or pediphiles who ruin children's lives. Sure, they can plead mental illness but they still know right from wrong.

They chose wrong. Make no mistake about that.

Choosing wrong, to the detriment of everyone around you, is not ok. It is not excused by mental illness. They should be held accountable, and if that means others find small glee in their downfall, well then "tough tittie said the kitty". It's only natural.

I don't cry for the pedophile getting beat up in prison or the alcoholic losing their drivers license. Actions have consequences, and these people seem to escape theirs so, so often.

I'm in no position to judge anyone else on this board.

[Forestaken]

In defense of FriedaB,

I know positive thinking is better but it is nice to know that karma exists.

Last year: 242 ibs
This morning: 199

Secret: replaced emotional eating with walking.

[LoveNYC]

Way to go, Forestaken!

Take care of YOU!

[abovebeyond]

Wow - your birthday present is that your mentally ill ex is now physically unhealthy and this makes you happy? 

At the number of posts you have, do you think it might be time to start looking at your own motivations and anger and perhaps spend some time on personal inventory so you can get "unstuck"?

You must be really hurt if you are cheering the destruction of a mentally ill person 

SB, "mental illness" does not abdicate personal responsibility. I liked then to alcoholics who repeatedly drive drunk or pediphiles who ruin children's lives. Sure, they can plead mental illness but they still know right from wrong.

They chose wrong. Make no mistake about that.

Choosing wrong, to the detriment of everyone around you, is not ok. It is not excused by mental illness. They should be held accountable, and if that means others find small glee in their downfall, well then "tough tittie said the kitty". It's only natural.

I don't cry for the pedophile getting beat up in prison or the alcoholic losing their drivers license. Actions have consequences, and these people seem to escape theirs so, so often.

I'm in no position to judge anyone else on this board.

Agreed. Another reason they know right from wrong? Insane Possessive Jealousy! My ex, like a lot of others, constantly hounded me about this girl, that girl, the other girl, woman I didn't ever know, women on TV commercials. it was insane. They know cheating is wrong, yet they hound you about it all the time. I NEVER cheated and bent over backwards, 1000s of times reassuring her she had nothing to worry about, and then yet...what does she do? Cheats, leaves, breaks the engagement via FB, and gets engaged 8 weeks later to an idiot she works with.

They KNOW right from wrong - when it comes to policing their partners.

They don't know it when it comes to themselves.

Not good. Period. Mental illness or no. I believe they are sick. But sometimes I sincerely believe some nons use it as a cop out against themselves at times.

[seeking balance]

With all due respect to everyone on this leaving board - there is a certain point where we have to look in the mirror.  Continuing to complain about bad behavior is simply keeping you in a victim position.

OK - bad things happened.  Focus on your own pain rather than focusing on "bad karma", "they suck", etc.

Love NYC - this is not even in the same mental healthy category as pediphiles...so you are reaching in this comparison.
Alcoholics that drive drunk - yes, they go to jail if they are caught.

You caught your pwBPD - now what?  We all have free will - do you want to choose to be a victim or choose to deal with your own emotions so you can heal?  It really is your choice.

Nice job Forestaken - a perfect example of using this time to improve yourself 

[seeking balance]

Wow - your birthday present is that your mentally ill ex is now physically unhealthy and this makes you happy? 

At the number of posts you have, do you think it might be time to start looking at your own motivations and anger and perhaps spend some time on personal inventory so you can get "unstuck"?

You must be really hurt if you are cheering the destruction of a mentally ill person 

Frieda B - you started this thread, now is a great time for you to own your part in your pain.  Lean into the pain rather than lash out against someone that is frankly no longer a part of your life.

I personally think you are strong enough to dig deep and deal with your hurt rather than have others "take up" for you.  I know that I am glad I was called out a couple years ago rather than enabled to stay stuck in unproductive posting and unproductive anger.

You will be ok - it hurts - but you will be ok.

Peace,
SB

[sirhero]

With all due respect to everyone on this leaving board - there is a certain point where we have to look in the mirror.  Continuing to complain about bad behavior is simply keeping you in a victim position.

OK - bad things happened.  Focus on your own pain rather than focusing on "bad karma", "they suck", etc.

Love NYC - this is not even in the same mental healthy category as pediphiles...so you are reaching in this comparison.
Alcoholics that drive drunk - yes, they go to jail if they are caught.

You caught your pwBPD - now what?  We all have free will - do you want to choose to be a victim or choose to deal with your own emotions so you can heal?  It really is your choice.

Nice job Forestaken - a perfect example of using this time to improve yourself 

I agree, as much as my ex hurt me I surely do not wish bad upon her. I am angry, I am bitter, but I would never wish harm to become of her. You cannot blame them for everything as it takes two to tangle. Most of us saw the red flags and most of us just glanced right on over them.

[FriedaB]

Me,  ok...but  surely  you  arent  suggesting  the  child  asked  for  it  ? 

[sirhero]

Me,  ok...but  surely  you  arent  suggesting  the  child  asked  for  it  ? 

Of course, what she did there was very wrong no doubt about it.

[Nosurrender]

[With all due respect to everyone on this leaving board - there is a certain point where we have to look in the mirror.  Continuing to complain about bad behavior is simply keeping you in a victim position./quote]

With all due respect? You're not showing much SB! Everyone recovers from BPD he'll at their own pace--goes through the phases of grief differently. Frieda can't nor shouldn't proceed at yours.
NS

[MindfulJavaJoe]

SB, "mental illness" does not abdicate personal responsibility. I liked then to alcoholics who repeatedly drive drunk or pediphiles who ruin children's lives. Sure, they can plead mental illness but they still know right from wrong.

They chose wrong. Make no mistake about that.

Choosing wrong, to the detriment of everyone around you, is not ok. It is not excused by mental illness. They should be held accountable, and if that means others find small glee in their downfall, well then "tough tittie said the kitty". It's only natural.

I don't cry for the pedophile getting beat up in prison or the alcoholic losing their drivers license. Actions have consequences, and these people seem to escape theirs so, so often.

I'm in no position to judge anyone else on this board.

BPD is a mental illness.
pwBPD have little or no insight into the chaos that they cause in their own and other people's
lives. The project into other people and in their eye it is the ones they blame that are the cause of all their problems. This is their reality.

I would not wish this illness on my worst enemy. Feeling for pwBPD become facts.

I have huge sympathy for my ex.. She cannot help herself this is her defence mechanism , her way of coping. Blamed for the break up of my marriage (she cheated on me) ... But I have to be blamed so the " facts" fit with her reality. Falsely accused of DV and threatened with accusations of child abuse ... She pulled back from this.

So why am I not angry with her?

She is I'll. It is a mental illness

Why do I feel sympathy for her?

She was physical and emotionally abused by her parents.
She was innocent when she came onto to this world and her childhood was stollen away from her. This was done to her.

This is how she copes, how she survives from one unhappy moment to the next . This is all she knows.

She would benefit from therapy. Some day I hope that she has the courage to face her demons.  I wish her well. She is mentally ill.

Getting you head around both sides of this illness takes time.

Take care of you. Detach, move on and dont look back.

MJJ

[FriedaB]

Someone  who  has  no  remorse  that  a  2  year  old   dies  screaming  in  pain  is  not  deserving  of  my  empathy  im  sorry.