Some thoughts on sarcasm

[Think About It...]

My therapist gave me a feeling wheel a while back, on the outside is actions and then you work your way in to see the underlying feeling behind it.  One of the items is sarcastic -> hostile -> mad.

I use sarcasm a lot, and it surprised that it indicated that I'm angry.  Who knew?  So I'm trying to stop being sarcastic and noticing it a lot in my coworkers.  I don't know if its just a bad habit we got into or if we are all angry.  ?

Has anybody thought about sarcasm or use it a lot and think there is some truth to this?  My husband is occasionally sarcastic but I think it's funny.  More fleas from childhood? ?

[Rose Tiger]

My therapist gave me a feeling wheel a while back, on the outside is actions and then you work your way in to see the underlying feeling behind it.  One of the items is sarcastic -> hostile -> mad.

I use sarcasm a lot, and it surprised that it indicated that I'm angry.  Who knew?  So I'm trying to stop being sarcastic and noticing it a lot in my coworkers.  I don't know if its just a bad habit we got into or if we are all angry.  ?

Has anybody thought about sarcasm or use it a lot and think there is some truth to this?  My husband is occasionally sarcastic but I think it's funny.  More fleas from childhood? ?

[andywho]

My therapist gave me a feeling wheel a while back, on the outside is actions and then you work your way in to see the underlying feeling behind it.  One of the items is sarcastic -> hostile -> mad.

I use sarcasm a lot, and it surprised that it indicated that I'm angry.  Who knew?  So I'm trying to stop being sarcastic and noticing it a lot in my coworkers.  I don't know if its just a bad habit we got into or if we are all angry.  ?

Has anybody thought about sarcasm or use it a lot and think there is some truth to this?  My husband is occasionally sarcastic but I think it's funny.  More fleas from childhood? ?

Interesting.

But then again i mostly use sarcasm when i know the reciver wont take it badly. But most of the time i use sarcasm on behalf of myself to humor those around me, hehe.

My girlfriend use alot of sarcasm towards me and mostly when she is nit in a good mood. When she does it i feel it more like a subtle anger. Its also easy for her to brush away if i happen to react on it. I was just kidding she says, dont be so sensitive.

But if my best friend use sarcasm i know its with a good heart and an effort to tease me. So hard to give a good answer. I dont tjink its always anger with sarcasm.


Andy

[Rose Tiger]

Aha, so good sarcasm come from fun loving comic side.  Mean sarcasm is the hostile angry type.  Two types...that makes sense to me.

[Rose Tiger]

Btw, the feeling wheel made a lot of sense to me for the most part, it was interesting to see my husband look at it like a road map to nirvanah.  Like he just won the lottery.  Some of us are so lucky and we don't even know it.

I'll add some more...

Frustrated -> Angry -> Mad
Jealous -> Selfish -> Mad
Bewildered -> Confused -> Scared
Insignificant -> Helpless -> Scared
Overwhelmed -> Anxious -> Scared
Daring -> Excited -> Joyful
Amused -> Cheerful -> Joyful
Surprised -> Aware -> Powerful
Worthwhile -> Respected -> Powerful
Thankful -> Nurturing -> Peaceful
Discerning -> Important -> Powerful
Valuable -> Appreciate -> Powerful
Secure - > Trusting -> Peaceful
Responsive -> Intimate -> Peaceful


Considering the thought that thought -> feeling -> action ->  I suppose to get to positive feelings, work towards postive actions (work your way back).  Daring, Stimulating, Amused, Playful, Optimistic.  Excited, Sensuous, Energetic, Cheerful, Creative, Hopeful.  I'm drawn to the joyful ones.

Energetic, creative.  Lead to Joyful.  

Thanks for letting me explore this with you all.  

[Salut]

That's very interesting. 

The powerful ones look backwards to me.  I would think you would feel worthwhile, that would lead to feeling respected, and that would then lead to feeling powerful.

I had sort of an ah-ha moment the other day over sarcasm/mad.  I also usually jump straight to sarcasm.  I have begun to realize how disrespectful that can be, because my H also does it to me.  So the other day he was upset and said some horrid stuff.  Instead of jumping into sarcasm, I told him I was very upset.  I made a conscious effort to stop the normal stuff going on in my head (sarcasm, ultimatums, worst case thinking) and I just laid it out there.  I am mad about what you said to me. Period..

For some reason that is hard.  Doesn't feel like enough of a response.  But it did work much better.  And I got to stay out of my own drama.

[Rose Tiger]

I think they can go both ways.  When you are feeling powerful, you can keep boundaries more easily, which leads to feeling worthwhile.  So we can mix it up, shakingly enforce a boundary, which can lead to feeling powerful, then feeling worthwhile. 

I was thinking how if we do something physical, work out at the gym, go on a hike, then we feel more energetic which leads to joyful.  Actions creating feelings versus the other way around.

When we are acting out with sarcasm, frustration, jealousy, skeptical, we are in mad feelings.  Sometimes it helps to know what feeling is driving the action.  Probably a good time to take a break, work on some self soothing techniques to bring us back to peaceful, powerful and joyful.

My husband keeps extremely active, he says he feels better after a 10 mile bike ride.  It makes sense how much he needs to do this to stay out of the sad, mad and scared feelings.  Endorphins and all that.  I feel better after scrubbing the hell out of the kitchen sink, I have the power to make it sparkle, powerful.  I read something somwhere that when you are in a funk, do something, anything, just get moving.

That's great you didn't respond in kind to his anger, you didn't buy into it.  Just because someone else is feeling anger, we don't have to join them.  A thoughtful response comes from peaceful and discerning comes from powerful. 

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