The Alcohol factor in my breakup

[Think About It...]

After my breakup with my BPD girlfriend I ended up turning to Alcohol to self medicate the incredible pain I was in.
I stopped completely a week ago and wanted to share my experience with the ones that might be in the same boat then me.

I feel so much better now and I made more progress in a week then in the last 6 months since our breakup. I was totally stucked.
Some of the things I found the booze did for me to complicate things.

1- It would make me feel better for a couple of hours but...
2- It would disturb my sleep pattern, would wake up in the middle of the night thinking about my ex and asking myself why why why
3- After a binge I was totally depressed and crying over the ex and would break NC when at my lowest point begging for her to speak to me
4- During the binge I would experience extreme anger and hate towards her, would break NC to blast her
5- My finances where suffering, causing me to be even more depressed

I have a totally different perspective now after only one week, I don't feel anything towards the ex. No anger, no sadness, no longer asking why.

Also started Zyban this morning to help me  stopping smoking within a week, this will be another victory for ME!

It's all about ME now, I have so much time without drinking and not having to spend every minute trying to save the BPD waif exgf.

My new life starts now, without the turmoil and drama, just ME working on ME!

 

[Thepatman]

After my breakup with my BPD girlfriend I ended up turning to Alcohol to self medicate the incredible pain I was in.
I stopped completely a week ago and wanted to share my experience with the ones that might be in the same boat then me.

I feel so much better now and I made more progress in a week then in the last 6 months since our breakup. I was totally stucked.
Some of the things I found the booze did for me to complicate things.

1- It would make me feel better for a couple of hours but...
2- It would disturb my sleep pattern, would wake up in the middle of the night thinking about my ex and asking myself why why why
3- After a binge I was totally depressed and crying over the ex and would break NC when at my lowest point begging for her to speak to me
4- During the binge I would experience extreme anger and hate towards her, would break NC to blast her
5- My finances where suffering, causing me to be even more depressed

I have a totally different perspective now after only one week, I don't feel anything towards the ex. No anger, no sadness, no longer asking why.

Also started Zyban this morning to help me  stopping smoking within a week, this will be another victory for ME!

It's all about ME now, I have so much time without drinking and not having to spend every minute trying to save the BPD waif exgf.

My new life starts now, without the turmoil and drama, just ME working on ME!

 

[bpdfamfan]

Wonderful post 
Congratulations 
I just stopped a few days ago for medical reasons.  So far so good.   
You're right, it IS all about you now.  Take care of yourself 

[Thepatman]

Thanks BPDfamfan ,Glad you stopped also, it's not hard when you put your mind to leaving the old bottle friend behind, same thing for leaving the BPD friend behind!
I find it's so similar, both are addictions and must be treated the same way, avoid even one drink and avoid even one contact with the BPD ex. Voila, problem solved!

If you need help relaxing Valerian is great for sleep and a couple of Camomille infusions before bedtime does wonders to relax.

[multiball]

I'm glad to hear that you are getting healthy.      I started smoking again due to BPD relationship stress, but I'm on day 7 of no nicotine now!  Also I'd gone a week without beer (was a daily thing for me).  Had some beer last night though, boy it was tasty.

[GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Are you on the right board?]

GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Are you on the right board? This board is for members with failed or failing relationships that want to detach from their relationship and relationship wounds. If you are still analyzing the decision to stay, please post on Undecided: Staying or Leaving All members living with a pwBPD should learn to use the Stop the Bleeding tools - boundaries, timeouts and other basic tools - to better manage the day to day interactions with your partner. If you have questions on any of the tools, feel free to go over to Staying: Improving a Relationship with a Borderline Partner and ask for help. :-)

[Nico18]

That_

[Belka]

Great job and keep up the good work. Focus on you. 

I've just started drinking again! In a good way, though. My uBPD ex friend's late father was an alcoholic. He was pretty irrational in his avoidance of alcohol. He was convinced that if he even ate anything that had been prepared with alcohol, like sauces simmered with wine or desserts with rum or cordial. He was convinced that he would become abusive if he consumed any amount of alcohol (he was already abusive, just not physically). Needless to say, I couldn't drink around him. Also, my youngest child stopped breast feeding only about 1 1/2 years ago. It can also be hard for me to get out of the house being a parent of two young kids.   So, a couple of weeks ago I went to see a friend's band play and had 3 whole Red Stripe beers! That was something I hadn't done for 6 years and it was great fun! I hope to be able to do that again some time soon.

When I was in the thick of the fog and depression caused by dealing with my ex friend's shenanigans, I did start drinking about an ounce of schnapps before bed. It made me sleepy enough to drift off even while my mind was racing. It's such a small amount of alcohol, but I did start to get worried that I was becoming dependent on it to get rest, so I quit. I guess I had become dependent because it took a week for me to get to sleep properly after I stopped. Alcohol dependence can really sneak up on you!

[Dera]

Congratulations, thepatman! It's good to hear someone having some victory in their life.

I miss have just one smoke in the evening. I'm actually considering taking up a pipe, like my brother did, .

[LoveNYC]

Pat, I had the opposite reaction.

Post break-up, my nerves were so frayed from his crazymaking, erratic/scary/unpredictable behavior and all the sleeplessness from him keeping me up all nite that once I left him I killed like 4 beers a nite just to take the edge off the PTSD.

It definitely helped get over the hump.

However, I don't have or never did have an issue with addiction so I know it's a different story.

But man, my garbage man must've known drama was up seeing beer and wine bottles stacked for recycling.

Haha.

[BreatheEasy]

I actually started drinking more during the r/s to numb my anxiety from the crazymaking.  It would ALWAYS end up badly because my exBPDbf would start a fight and push my buttons on purpose and blamed me for drinking too much and getting too angry.  It was a very scary time.  Since we ended 2 1/2 months ago (NC) my drinking has changed.  Now when I drink it is to enjoy myself and be in good company with friends and family. 

Drinking numbs the pain temporarily but it allows it to build and build and it has to come out somehow.  Usually in a destructive way which I knew I did not want to happen anymore. 

Taking care of your body really helps heal from the emotional distress. 

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