We all remember and maybe we sometimes long for the good old days before we knew about borderline personality disorder and all the crap that goes along with it. Maybe we still want to go back to the way things were...to the fantasy. To the love. But what is the measure of love really?
I was easily flattered at first by the intesne attention and my expwBPD's obsession for me. I mistakenly thought this obsession was love. Obsession is focused on taking. Love focuses on giving. We all have our reasons for giving and loving too much. We all have to decide what or why this was. But I know that my ex's obsession with me was centered on him using me to make himself feel better and he ended up treating me like an object. He completely lost his own identity and was completely consumed by his desire to control me. Obsession stems from a place of deep insecurity. It ended up being a prison for us both.
I think the idealization phase represents obsessive love and this isn't the love I want or need. So maybe the next time you wish for the "love" you had...you will consider what this *love* really was and what it really means to you.
Next time I'm going to know the difference.
Peace to you all