can they both be pwBPD and date each other?

[Think About It...]

I ask that to try and figure this out.my stbx is totally in love with her b/f of whom she cheated on me with and abadoned her kids.they call each other husband and wife (while she is still married to me)tattoed each others name on there body her name on his neck and his on his ankle.they are both in there on world both have children my stbx d19 (whom she abadoned at 4 to be with me)d10 s6 him d5 .she hide this r/s from me for a month and a half.now theybeen together 4 months.are they really in love or they both BPD...just asking as I scratch my head

[BP39]

I ask that to try and figure this out.my stbx is totally in love with her b/f of whom she cheated on me with and abadoned her kids.they call each other husband and wife (while she is still married to me)tattoed each others name on there body her name on his neck and his on his ankle.they are both in there on world both have children my stbx d19 (whom she abadoned at 4 to be with me)d10 s6 him d5 .she hide this r/s from me for a month and a half.now theybeen together 4 months.are they really in love or they both BPD...just asking as I scratch my head

[GreenMango]

BP

It's possible.  We tend to attract others with matched emotional maturity.  So if her values, or lack there of, match his then it may draw them together.

But eventually the same behavior you experienced will surface.  Whether they continue to stay together or not seems beside the point in respect to what's in the best interest for you and the kids.

I know its hard because of your investment in the relationship.  I know its hard becuase in this situation it may seem like she holds the key to making it better.

She doesn't, but you do.  Unfortunately better may not be having a relationship with her again.  This is a huge loss which comes with grieving.  Acceptance is so very hard and detachment, to do what's in the best interest of your children and yourself, is essential to moving forward.

How are you doing?

GM

[BP39]

Thanks gm I go day by day .accept it most days but I still have my moments .life moves on everything and everyone including her has moved on.just feels like I haven't at times I'm in nc again kids are at my moms for a couple weeks so no reason for to contact me and I have no reason to contact her wich neither of us has .I'm letting her live her happy new life with the bf .as mine is feeled with some pain but thanks to you this site and all the wonderful members on here I keep crawiling foward