BPD ex sent an (almost) empty box

[Think About It...]

I guess something's really wrong with me, but I find that very endearing.  I often feel the same about my exbf's creativity---there's a sweetness to it.  Probably explains why I was hooked for so long  . . .

How is this creative?

[LoveNYC]

I guess something's really wrong with me, but I find that very endearing.  I often feel the same about my exbf's creativity---there's a sweetness to it.  Probably explains why I was hooked for so long  . . .

How is this creative?

[forgottenarm]

It's certainly more original and mysterious than flowers!  And, it begs a response.  Sure, it's also pretty weird, but you have to admire the ingenuity. 

[MarshaDole]

All of his gifts to me during the relationship itself were a bit off too: He gave me flowers only once, picked in my backyard. He never gave me any jewelry or any gift I would consider romantic. But he would bring all kinds of gadgets home, many of which he installed himself and that I am still using: new toilet seats that are far more comfortable, atomic clocks for three rooms, new lighting fixtures, more expensive pillows for sleeping, and so many "gadgets" that I can't even think of them all. Many were completely unnecessary. But I'm still using the new coffeemaker he bought us and many other things.
There's just something different about BPD gifts. It's not right or wrong, just different.

[Rose1]

My exBPDh thought it was funny to put small gifts into very large boxes too - he said people expect this huge present and then get a small one. Very childlike actually.

[GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Are you on the right board?]

GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Are you on the right board? This board is for members with failed or failing relationships that want to detach from their relationship and relationship wounds. If you are still analyzing the decision to stay, please post on Undecided: Staying or Leaving All members living with a pwBPD should learn to use the Stop the Bleeding tools - boundaries, timeouts and other basic tools - to better manage the day to day interactions with your partner. If you have questions on any of the tools, feel free to go over to Staying: Improving a Relationship with a Borderline Partner and ask for help. :-)

[myself]

Sounds like he sent himself to you in the box.
Something you don't need, that doesn't make much sense.

[goinbonkers]

Sounds like he sent himself to you in the box.
Something you don't need, that doesn't make much sense.

ok that was a good one. 

[MarshaDole]

Myself, that was a great original line you came up with in your reply. I almost laughed out loud when I read it.  

There's a lot to feel badly about after going through the wringer over a BPD relationship. Every once in a while it's great to have a laugh for a change when it's just
between us nons. Thanks! :-)

[myself]

Myself, that was a great original line you came up with in your reply. I almost laughed out loud when I read it.  

There's a lot to feel badly about after going through the wringer over a BPD relationship. Every once in a while it's great to have a laugh for a change when it's just
between us nons. Thanks! :-)

Thanks, you're welcome! You're right, there's a lot of pain going through something like this. Better to be able to see and share the bright side when we can.

Here's another part to it. Something I've seen and reaffirmed every day again lately. I was a laughing and more happy kind of person before this BPD relationship. A lot of the time while inside of it, as well. And I'll be happy and laughing, having good times, after it! Just have to keep that in mind as best we can, be who we Really Are.

[MarshaDole]

Myself, I'm finding that I'm more and more returning to the person I used to be, laughing more, wanting to pursue interests I didn't have time for while dealing with the BPD, trying out new places and new ideas and new ways of doing things. I can't imagine myself going back to the person I was those last few months in the BPD relationship. It was like being on a rollercoaster ride through hell.

I have so much sympathy for the newcomers to this board. I well remember what it was like to be discarded and devalued and trying to understand the BPD maze. That's one reason I keep coming here; I had lots of support, insight and understanding on here when I really needed it and now it's time to pay it forward. I occasionally have moments of sadness over the BPD relationship, but they're becoming fewer and farther between. :-)

[sea5045]

It's not an IUD is it?

[myself]

Myself, I'm finding that I'm more and more returning to the person I used to be, laughing more, wanting to pursue interests I didn't have time for while dealing with the BPD, trying out new places and new ideas and new ways of doing things. I can't imagine myself going back to the person I was those last few months in the BPD relationship. It was like being on a rollercoaster ride through hell.

I have so much sympathy for the newcomers to this board. I well remember what it was like to be discarded and devalued and trying to understand the BPD maze. That's one reason I keep coming here; I had lots of support, insight and understanding on here when I really needed it and now it's time to pay it forward. I occasionally have moments of sadness over the BPD relationship, but they're becoming fewer and farther between. :-)

 

[MarshaDole]

Sea5045, that's hilarious. No, it's some kind of doodad for an appliance or electronics item.
Someone who came by the house yesterday told me it's meant to attach an Ipod to a speaker system or public address system. Funny thing is, I have neither. 

[HowPredictable]

I feel like I'm arriving a little late to the party, but the intent behind the Thingie-in-a-Box is not so mysterious.   Let me put on my BPD Decoder ring, set the stage, and translate:

[Scene:  MarshaDole's ExBPD, sitting in his living room, thinking aloud]

ExBPD to himself:  "Hmm.  Things are a little too quiet.  I'm already filled with emptiness and a sense of being alone, I need to change that."

[Scratches head, thinking, thinking.]

ExBPD to himself:   "You know, that MarshaDole was a good kid.  Problem is, she's ignored me for a few months now.   Not sure where I stand with her.  How can I test the waters?"

[Scans living room.  Picks up random plastic object ("Thingie") he no longer has use for.]

ExBPD to himself:  "I know, I will send her *this*.  It's just vague and mysterious enough to let her read into it whatever meaning she likes.   If she hates me for being a confusing, disordered assclown, then she'll ignore it.  But if she still has feelings for me, she'll think it's some sort of romantic gesture and will fall right back into my arms.  Or better yet, into my bed".

Glad you didn't fall for it, MarshaDole.    

[MarshaDole]

HowPredictable, I think you've captured the BPD mindset precisely. If there were any rationale behind sending this unneeded item, I believe it was exactly what you've described. It gave me my laugh for today. Also, you have a way with words that I appreciate.
 

[awesomenessdefined]

Just ignore it. They are disordered thats why they do whatever they do, that and he is fishing for somekind of contact, dont give him the pleasure...

[id-crisis]

Just out of sheer curiosity, how do you know it was from him (apart from the obvious) did he send a card along with it?

[MarshaDole]

Bumbling, his name and return address were on the box.