As most of you no i have been isolating for a long time.My BPD fiance did a number on me.I started counseling and i am going back to Al-Anon.But i write today because something yesterday happened to me.
I am remodeling my home here in NY.This was suppose to be ''our'' home we picked out.So i have been here for 8 months or so killing myself and doing major rehab on this home in NY.The home is looking great Sad part it was set up for my EX..Needless to say i was ''dumped'' out of the clear blue because i ''talked to a neighbor'' who happened to be married.My ex BPD went nuts and ballistic on me,as usual.So i have not heard nothing from her.So she has disappeared and broke me up bad.Here i am trying to plan for the future in a new city and i got ABANDONED in a bad way.So it has been hell on me all alone and a new place.
Anyway a lady i talked to months and months ago stopped by to say hi.I was nervous.She is an independent very pretty Italian woman.She is smart,funny,owns her own home,great credit and lives alone.She does not jump man to man.She has a full life.Are you ready for this..She asked me out for a walk by the lake and to get an ice cream...
...With every ounce of energy i could work up i said SURE.Ok she said.I will pick u up at 8 pm.Ok great.
At this point i am a wreck.I started to run around my house here shaving,showering and doing laundry.I smashed my toe right into the fridge I was so nervous''felt good''...
,lol.So as some of you no I was sweating.At 7:45 I am ready to CANCELL(FEAR).I did not and kept praying and just went with it.She arrived at 8 pm like she said_