Here with the baby & angry too

[Think About It...]

it's now 6 a.m. and i'm sitting on the couch with the 3 mos yr old baby giving him a bottle and i'm angry. why?
because i feel dumped on. here is how my weekend went.  We have six kids. Friday night my left as she usually does from about 7 pm and came home 3 am. so I was with all the kids including the baby. saturday morning the baby was up 6 am and of course took care of him because she too tired. i was with all the kids as they gradually woke up till about one. She was in our bedroom most of that time until bout one when i took the kids to the park for a few hours, the baby was sleeping when we left because we are no "allowed" to leave mommy with the baby awake. When we came home at 5 mommy was pretty much ready to leave as she did and came home at 11 pm. the kids were still awake except for the baby but about to go sleep. SHe comes in, tell our oldest D12 to help her make her something to eat. then goes straight to the bedroom to sit down on facebook.
6 am the baby wakes up crying and I tell her I had enough already and it is her turn. She says she can't and that she is too tired and she just fell asleep at 5:30 because she was in her bed and couldn't fall asleep. In other words she was on her iphone listening to music and texting on on facebook till who knows when.
Then oldest D12 comes and says calls to me that the baby is crying.
I say to my W: "where is the mother? It's your turn. I've been with the baby the whole weekend. How can it be that a mother can spend no time with her newborn baby? How can that be? it's your turn. WHy do the kids call me? Where is the mother of this baby?"
She of course doesn't like to hear that but is too tired to get really angry so she pleads, please, i will take care of him tonight. I promise, etc"
So here I am tired and irritable after spending what feels like the whole weekend taking care of kids alone.
And yes, this is a very typical weekend.

[Rewards2]

it's now 6 a.m. and i'm sitting on the couch with the 3 mos yr old baby giving him a bottle and i'm angry. why?
because i feel dumped on. here is how my weekend went.  We have six kids. Friday night my left as she usually does from about 7 pm and came home 3 am. so I was with all the kids including the baby. saturday morning the baby was up 6 am and of course took care of him because she too tired. i was with all the kids as they gradually woke up till about one. She was in our bedroom most of that time until bout one when i took the kids to the park for a few hours, the baby was sleeping when we left because we are no "allowed" to leave mommy with the baby awake. When we came home at 5 mommy was pretty much ready to leave as she did and came home at 11 pm. the kids were still awake except for the baby but about to go sleep. SHe comes in, tell our oldest D12 to help her make her something to eat. then goes straight to the bedroom to sit down on facebook.
6 am the baby wakes up crying and I tell her I had enough already and it is her turn. She says she can't and that she is too tired and she just fell asleep at 5:30 because she was in her bed and couldn't fall asleep. In other words she was on her iphone listening to music and texting on on facebook till who knows when.
Then oldest D12 comes and says calls to me that the baby is crying.
I say to my W: "where is the mother? It's your turn. I've been with the baby the whole weekend. How can it be that a mother can spend no time with her newborn baby? How can that be? it's your turn. WHy do the kids call me? Where is the mother of this baby?"
She of course doesn't like to hear that but is too tired to get really angry so she pleads, please, i will take care of him tonight. I promise, etc"
So here I am tired and irritable after spending what feels like the whole weekend taking care of kids alone.
And yes, this is a very typical weekend.

[Rewards2]

and by the way dont think she needs a break from the kids. we have full time nanny for the baby. m-f 8:30 am-7 pm. so  she barely takes care of the baby or the kids in the weekdays too.

[Surnia]

Hi reward

what I get from your posts: The weekends, you are with six kids plus one spoiled teeny kid, your wife. I understand you are angry. I would too. I would be sooo  angry (not helpfull  )
My first thought was sort of clear agreements about: You look for the kids from ... to ..., I look for them from...  - to... But I fear this would not work with mental ill w, and with kids and a new born baby there is no space for trials.  ?

I think the big question is, what can you do to improve this difficult situation. Or in other words: How to change the qualified anger to action.

Surnia

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GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Are you on the right board? The focus of this board is about understanding the child, their needs, and supporting them in an intelligent and non self-sacrificing way. If your topic is mostly about the other parent and you are divorced, please go to Rebuilding our Life. If your topic is mostly about legal/custody issues, please go to Family law, Divorce, and Custody. If your topic is mostly about the other parent and you are still married, please go to Staying: Improving a Relationship with a Borderline Partner. If you need help moving a thread, please contact a moderator. We are glad to help. :)

[Rewards2]

I've been trying to figure that out with no luck yet.

[Rewards2]

And true also, no agreement will stick. She will use the slightest misdeed on my part, even an imaginary one, as an excuse to do whatever she wants.