I like your ultimatum idea. Sometimes it works. It did for me. SHE has to be willing to get serious and stop playing the games tho. Stand firm with her too--let her know that you mean what you say
And make sure you find a therapist that understands BPD...Dr. Karyl Mcbride wrote a book called Will I ever be good enough? or something like that, I can't remember the exact title now
. But if you do a search for her, she has a website and on it there is a list of therapists that understand this disorder. You may be able to find someone directly or indirectly through the list. She also has a facebook page. She deals mainly with daughters of n's but is starting to include men in her research. If you don't see any t's in your area, you can email her and she does write back usually within a week. Hers is the only website I know of right now that has therapists especially trained in dealing with npd/BPD. Her book although geared towards women helps make it easier to understand why we are drawn into these relationships in the first place...I wish you luck...you seem like a nice person, and deserve to be treated so much better. Oh, another thing that a lot of people swear by are al anon meetings, to help with the co-dependency. I haven't gone yet, but am planning on it...and you don't have to have alcohol in the picture to attend...the coping skills are similar to dealing with a pd'd person...it helps us to take our life back...and with the obsessive thoughts...another really good book is Language of Letting Go...the first one, not the second. Very good bite sized reads in there that help with all of this stuff
