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Think About It...The basic premise of cognitive therapy is that the way we think about events in our lives (cognition) determines how we feel about them (emotions). ~ Jeffrey E. Young PH.D, Reinventing Your Life
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Author Topic: Just a little advice... Will it stop?  (Read 257 times)
Marie C
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« on: August 01, 2012, 12:06:37 AM »

Hi there...
Okay heres my story. my husband had been wrongly diagnosed for years with Bipolar come to find it is BPD. Well it is really hard to get what I need to say out. I am sure many of the people may understand the challenges that are associated with BPD.
(I forgot to mention that I have Bipolar disorder... I am down most of the time with my spurts of brilliant ideas.)

My husband and I got married 2 months after I turned 18 . I am 21 now and he is 22. I got pregnant at 16 with his child and he was homeless (because my mother never liked him). He had to move 500 miles away from me a week after the birth of our son to live with his mother. He moved back one year later on Christmas Day.
Our son is surprisingly normal... which may have been from the environment he was born into at the early developmental stages... or chance, not sure which. My husband and I both have strong genetic tendencies to pass a severe mental illness.

At 19, I became pregnant with our second son. I have a lot of respect for my oldest son for putting up with Daddy's additude. I have always told our son what behavior is acceptable or unacceptable.
For some reason, after our second child (another boy) my husband took the wheel. I could not punish or praise him and suffered sever Post Partum for a while. It took a year to get over my feelings.

Long story, cut in half by 10... Our youngest son has horrible mood problems that I have noticed since he was around 9 months old. My husband says it is just because he is a boy... but I worry because sometimes it feels as though he does not hear. Don't mistake my words... he is not anywhere close to deaf... he swings from up to down with screams and giggles. Now I don't think it is bipolar only because if it was it would be rapid cycling... which is what my father had. Our youngest will scream and does not reason. he will hit something or scream at something that makes him fall. He is in no way slow, but instead very intelligent intellectually when he does pay attention. When I want to teach him something (which may involve dividing his attention from something else) he turns on me and it hurts my feelings badly. It is holding him back because we do not trust him with much.

My husband yells at him when he screams and in my opinion only makes it worse. When I stand my ground and defend either of our children... I feel the pain and my children watch it  cry . I understand that the moods my husband has are affecting them, but could it be that our soon to be 3 year old has learned from Daddy or could it be BPD.

I have more details if needed...

Thanks for any help and thanks for reading this long story about nothing that really matters to you personally.

 Hi!I just want to know how anyone with BPD hits that ah ha moment where they realize they need help. Musband is not getting it. He is getting father away from all of us.
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Rose1
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« Reply #1 on: August 01, 2012, 05:37:39 AM »

Whether he does or not, you need to meet the needs of your child. Please have a look at "The Bi Polar Child" and see if this helps at all - not all cases are the same - far from it. My youngest D has bi polar amongst other things -strong family history mixed with PD's. She doesn't have a PD but a lot of other issues. When I read the book, a lot of this started to make sense. She was evaluated at about age 10 but had already been in treatment since 6 due to other symptoms that were part of the Autism spectrum of disorders. I believe the treatment and her upbringing are what is responsible for her not having a PD today (she's 22).

http://bipolarchild.com/

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