I have had two major relationships in my life, both i can now see where, and still are borderlines. The first when I was 18, the second when I was in my 30's. I still know the first, and I am in NC with the second. It occurred to me the other day how they both suffered the same disfunction, but that it presented in polar opposites.
Girl A, has a horribly uptight and angry up front persona [ devil wears prada style [ her heroine interestingly] ] Underneath she has a lovely personality but in truth you never see it anymore. She is now in her 40's and is a living nightmare. I say I know her, but I don't have anything to do with her. So, hard outside soft inside.
Girl B, Has the sweetest softest outside. Expert at mirroring, and flattering etc. But inside she has the most callous, uncaring personality you could ever wish to meet. No empathy, no reflection, just angry and depressed at the world.
Both lack empathy, real emotion [ based not just on themselves ] they both manipulate, and all the other things that go with BPD. Its just that one sneaks in under the radar, the other frightens you into submission.
Todays thought ... I have no idea what I could have seen in those obviously dysfunctional people. I guess the soft sides hooked me in. Wiser, stronger, better, happier and never again.
Be it a beserker clambering over my borders, or a trojan horse sneaking in at night. Beware I say, for I have seen the light