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Think About It... Defending our boundaries is more than a response in times of conflict - it's a lifestyle. Learn how to get in touch with your values, define and communicate boundaries of those values, and defend against boundary busters. ~ Skip
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Author Topic: Two Borderlines - The Beserker and the Trojan Horse  (Read 359 times)
soul
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« on: August 16, 2012, 02:01:05 AM »

I have had two major relationships in my life, both i can now see where, and still are borderlines. The first when I was 18, the second when I was in my 30's. I still know the first, and I am in NC with the second. It occurred to me the other day how they both suffered the same disfunction, but that it presented in polar opposites.

Girl A, has a horribly uptight and angry up front persona [ devil wears prada style [ her heroine interestingly] ] Underneath she has a lovely personality but in truth you never see it anymore. She is now in her 40's and is a living nightmare. I say I know her, but I don't have anything to do with her. So, hard outside soft inside.

Girl B, Has the sweetest softest outside. Expert at mirroring, and flattering etc. But inside she has the most callous, uncaring personality you could ever wish to meet. No empathy, no reflection, just angry and depressed at the world.

Both lack empathy, real emotion [ based not just on themselves ] they both manipulate, and all the other things that go with BPD. Its just that one sneaks in under the radar, the other frightens you into submission.

Todays thought ... I have no idea what I could have seen in those obviously dysfunctional people. I guess the soft sides hooked me in. Wiser, stronger, better, happier and never again.

Be it a beserker clambering over my borders, or a trojan horse sneaking in at night. Beware I say, for I have seen the light smiley
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« Reply #1 on: August 16, 2012, 06:11:51 AM »

Glad you have seen the light, Soul.  Doing the right thing  

Did you get into a r/s with the both of them quickly, as we all tended to have done with our x-pwBPD?  I think that the learning for me is to take my time so that I can see those patterns more clearly and make better decisions without jumping into a r/s.
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