I didn't neglect my child

[Think About It...]

Yay!  I just got a letter today from CPS.

It states that they dropped the child neglect charge and will seal that complaint.

This all stemmed from an "incident" that happened at the end of June.  My d17 was spiraling out of control for months, we had a blowup one day and she screamed at me quite a few nasty and disrespectful things.  I told her that I don't work this hard for her and the rest of the family to be treated with that much disrespect and that I won't tolerate it.  I told her that if she thought it was that bad living here then she can leave.  So she did.

Of course, when BPD ex H found out about it, he made a mountain out of a molehill and CPS got involved.

This all happened before I really knew anything about BPD.

So initially, there was a complaint of neglect ( because she is 17)  I guess you can't kick her out til 18.  It's not like it was inclement weather.  She had a cell phone, I tracked where she was, it was nice outside and she just went to my brothers house.
I would have never put her in harms way.  We live in a small safe town where everything is walking distance.

I sent a letter to CPS explaining the situation in detail, explaining what we were going through with her and asked that they change the status to "unfounded".  So they did!  Yay!  One less thing to worry about.  In the back of my mind I worried that BPD ex H could use a child neglect charge to gain custody.

Now I am hoping to get a letter from the court saying that my BPD ex h dropped his request for sole custody.  She is back living with me and things have been so much better thanks to the help I have received here in this support group.

Thanks all!

Thought this should probably go on the legal/divorce board but you guys know me and I wanted to share some good news.  Seems it is far and few between.

Forgetmenot~

[Forgetmenot]

Yay!  I just got a letter today from CPS.

It states that they dropped the child neglect charge and will seal that complaint.

This all stemmed from an "incident" that happened at the end of June.  My d17 was spiraling out of control for months, we had a blowup one day and she screamed at me quite a few nasty and disrespectful things.  I told her that I don't work this hard for her and the rest of the family to be treated with that much disrespect and that I won't tolerate it.  I told her that if she thought it was that bad living here then she can leave.  So she did.

Of course, when BPD ex H found out about it, he made a mountain out of a molehill and CPS got involved.

This all happened before I really knew anything about BPD.

So initially, there was a complaint of neglect ( because she is 17)  I guess you can't kick her out til 18.  It's not like it was inclement weather.  She had a cell phone, I tracked where she was, it was nice outside and she just went to my brothers house.
I would have never put her in harms way.  We live in a small safe town where everything is walking distance.

I sent a letter to CPS explaining the situation in detail, explaining what we were going through with her and asked that they change the status to "unfounded".  So they did!  Yay!  One less thing to worry about.  In the back of my mind I worried that BPD ex H could use a child neglect charge to gain custody.

Now I am hoping to get a letter from the court saying that my BPD ex h dropped his request for sole custody.  She is back living with me and things have been so much better thanks to the help I have received here in this support group.

Thanks all!

Thought this should probably go on the legal/divorce board but you guys know me and I wanted to share some good news.  Seems it is far and few between.

Forgetmenot~

[seekinglight]

Yippie

We go through sooo much that others have no clue about...like being called for neglect when everything whirls around the 'neglected' one.

May all the good things keep coming...

[lbjnltx]

Wonderful forgetmenot!

Every small victory counts.  So much work/time/pain/money (and sometimes all of these at once) goes into each step towards improvement.

I think that makes us treasure those small improvements  even more.  Hard won victories are not soon forgotten.

lbjnltx

[dailycoping]

That is wonderful forgetmenot! I could not imagine having to deal with that as well as everything else (did years 18 years ago...but that was before all of this BPD junk). You must be so relieved. It is always so nice to here of positives that happen to people on here...brightens the day
Take care

[suchsadness]

YAY...glad to hear your "good" news.

As I was reading your post - I was thinking, if your dd is 17 and going on 18...isn't 18 the age that custody/child  support etc. ends?  So by the time your ex went through the process of filing for sole custody there would be no custody to gain.  I guess if he filed a complaint about neglect, then there could be an emergency hearing.  But now the court would probably look at it as a revenge type custody request.  Anyway, soon all the custody issues will be over for you (at least with your dd17 but I'm not sure if there are more children to continue with custody problems).  It was such a relief for me when my children reached legal age and there was absolutely no more custody/fighting with my exh, who I'm sure was BPD himself...anger and hatred like you wouldn't believe! 

[Forgetmenot]

I get so aggravated to have to deal with all this petty stuff.  I am such a calm and peaceful person and kind to everyone.  I makes me crazy to have to jump these ridiculous hurdles all the time.

He has to pay child support until she is 21 if she is in school.  I am thinking he will drop his court case for custody.  He stopped paying his measly child support again which I take as a sign that he is NOT preparing to go to court.  I actually hope she doesn't go to college and he can stop paying just so I can cut that tie with him.  It isn't much money...he earns about 80K per year but is self employed so he only shows an income of 18 K per year.  He pays his little amount only sporadically so it isn't really useful anyway.

Since we divorced he has done anything and everything to cause me grief.   I wish I would have known about BPD and NPD a long time ago, but better late than never!

Maybe my d17 can start to heal without the craziness that has been thrust upon her by her psycho dad.  They are now estranged and I have a feeling the estrangement will be permanent just like my other daughter.

I have two more stepsons that are under age but there are no custody issues with them, so hopefully I can be free and clear soon!  I'll have the biggest party!

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[vivekananda]

I'll have the biggest party!

Don't wait to have a drink or two to celebrate this latest sucess. Congrats forgetmenot - good work well done!

cheers,
vivek!

[mymiracles]

   forgetmenot

So happy for you!

Maybe by having this chaos become public,the law will be more informed of this illness. Good job.

[griz]

I think you should start the party now and just keep it going.  I am happy for you that this is resolved.  I wish continued healing for both you and your daughter.

Griz

[Forgetmenot]

Thanks for all the kind thoughts.  It is a huge deal for me to get past this hurdle.  Now that she is almost 18 my u BPD ex h has very few ways to get at me.  Eventually there has to be an end.  I feel like it is getting closer.

Just waiting for the court papers now hoping he dropped his petition for sole custody.

Retarded me:  I got my first speeding ticket in about 15 years.  Ugh...just what I needed, more court crap!  I decided to just pay my lawyer to handle it as a treat to myself.