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Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits. Practicing lawyer, Senior Family Mediator, and former Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years’ experience and an expert on navigating the Family Court process.
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Author Topic: Question about: Abandonment Depression  (Read 360 times)
wb1233
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« on: February 06, 2013, 02:55:42 PM »

I've read that BPD'S did not fully experience abandonment depression in their early developmental stages. Can a BPD successfully experience abandonment depression after a failed relationship by not attaching to a new host without therapy?
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wb1233
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« Reply #1 on: February 06, 2013, 02:58:03 PM »

If so, does that mean they can heal on their own and go on to experience a "normal" relationship?
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tailspin
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« Reply #2 on: February 06, 2013, 03:19:19 PM »

wb,

From what I understand... .  one theory is that BPD develops due to arrested emotional development around the age of 2-3.  As you stated, they fail to work through their initial abandonment depression, and this results in maladaptive defense mechanisms kicking in to prevent emotional annihilation.

However, it does not follow that they will successfully work through their abandonment depression issues (and be cured) by failing to attach or essentially avoiding attachment.  Avoiding attachment is one of these maladaptive defense mechanisms learned early in their life.  Continuing to evoke this defense mechanism simply allows them to avoid the pain and perpetuate their illness.

Therapy involves working through the pain associated with the initial abandonment trauma.  Simply becoming a hermit, which is what many with this illness end up doing, will not make the illness go away. 

I hope this helps. 

tailspin
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almost789
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« Reply #3 on: February 06, 2013, 03:29:32 PM »

No, I don't think so. That is far to simple. The have alot of issues. Also, lack of identity. They do not know who they are. Long term therapy with a GOOD BPD specialist is the only way.
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