Please do read the
Lessons. You will get some good insight and ideas.
In this case, the thing to accept is that you can't
make her feel better. Ultimately, she is responsible for her feelings, not you.
What if it had gone like this?
Me: "How about I make you some eggs for breakfast?"
Her: "I have an upset stomach, which you would know if you ever paid attention to me. Why would I want eggs when my stomach is upset?"
Me: "Ok
, how about you take a shower, and I brush your hair and massage your shoulders afterwards?" (She only showers every 7-10 days because she feels "too exposed" in the shower. Ironically, she spends much of the day nude around the house when I am at work).
Her: "I don't feel like showering."
Me: "I could make you a nice relaxing cup of tea."
Her: "I don't want tea." I recommend what Auspicious did here.
For years i have been doing what Apchagi is doing and stopped doing it around the summer 2012. I stopped trying to force it... trying to please her in every way.
And i still do nice things for her... . but i dont force it upon her. I offer or ask her once and if she dont want it i leave it be and carry along. I have been surprised many a time when she after a little while change her mind and ask for it.
