Made a mistake and saw him last night... was sad I wasn't with him. He invited me over and I went. Watch tv made love feel asleep in each others arms. Woke up made love again this morning and then talked... Made a final plea for our marriage. Cried. Left and continued the talk via text. This is what he said. "It sounds like you ate going to ask me to go back to counseling with you,Well if its anything along that line I'm not sure you ate going to like my answer,You're trapping me because you will not believe why I would answer no to this. I don't hate or despise you and believe me, I thought about this long and hard that you could never imagine, and I fought myself over this, but the only reason I would come Back is for the kids. You remember all the good things we had together because I am not there, but it's the opposite of what I Remember. I know what I am doing. I'm happier now knowing that even though our kids may grow up to resent my choice they will grow up knowing I love them. They won't grow up knowing that our constant fighting and bickering was in frustration every day because there are no emotional feelings in the relationship. I thought very long and very hard about this and I accept my fate that you or God or the kids, or anyone else has to instill upon me for that decision. I'm sorry this is not what you want to hear and I don't care if you don't believe I am not influenced by this decision. Please know I'm not angry. Honestly I am happier. It's one billion times harder than just giving up and saying yes to you, honestly. But I feel so much more at peace and in control of myself, if that makes sense. I'm not scared or tired, I just simply do not want too, I'm very sorry about this. I will miss some times we had together"
I responded in between but really doesn't need to be added for anyone. U all get the point.
I feel like such an idiot for putting myself out there again, we have now agreed to contact only when kid related.