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Author Topic: "I misunderstood you"  (Read 397 times)
Chosen
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 1479



« on: August 19, 2013, 12:35:56 AM »

If you guys remembered my vacation-planning story (want to holiday with H, he raged after setting the date, turns out he was worried about job; after he got contract renewed I asked again, said if he doesn't want to go then I will go with my dad; he said he doesn't want to go on long vacation, I should go with my dad), I just want to share with you the ridiculous-ness of what H said yesterday.  But mostly how I'm glad I have my plans in place so I don't get swayed back and forth by him.

Yesterday, H and I went to the travel agency to book a tour (for me and my dad), simply because we were on our way.  Everything sorted.  I paid.  After we left, H expressed that he wants to go on holiday with me, and if I didn't go with dad during that period we could've gone somewhere.  Whoa.  I have told him numerous times (in my DEARMAN speech, and before) that my priority is to go with him.  I took my days off to holiday with him, but he said he didn't want to go then, so I invited my dad instead, seeing he's getting older and has a surgery this year, and we've never travelled on our own before.

I reiterated this, calmly, because it doesn't make a difference now- H and I will NOT be going on holiday anytime soon (I'm extremely unlikely to get approved for another week off this year), and he said, "Oh I'm so sorry I misunderstood you."  I didn't blame him, didn't try to convince him of anything, just said that maybe we could plan for a holiday next year, but inside I'm thinking What the heck? Because what he claimed to think I said was the complete opposite of what I said.

Meanwhile, at least now that I listened to him that first time, I’m still going on holiday- probably not the most ideal (wanted to go with H), but I’m still going to enjoy that!

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eeyore
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Relationship status: in a relationship
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« Reply #1 on: August 19, 2013, 12:49:11 AM »

The oh I misunderstood sounds very familiar.   It's always a misunderstanding but never them.   I remember your posts about going on holiday with him and how you had requested the days off.  You did good to take care of yourself.  Most likely he won't miss another holiday with you.  Just make sure you have a GREAT time with lots of pictures.  :-)
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Chosen
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Gender: Female
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 1479



« Reply #2 on: August 19, 2013, 04:39:22 AM »

Yep I've gotten over the fact that I cannot go on holiday with him this year, and instead I'm determined to enjoy this holiday I have now (my dad's a bit difficult to please, but I hope it will be ok).

I was actually a little bit surprised he said he misunderstood me.  Because usually it's "you didn't say it clearly", or "you said it wrong". 
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