cleaning up vomit all last night and loving it..

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

my 14 year old son has the gastrointestinal flu and all last night and into the wee hours of the morning, ... he vomited at least a twenty times.  He was as white as a ghost. (His older sister was downstairs doing her homework until 11:00).

He was hot and sweaty, then cold as a cadaver. I caressed his hair line and temple-rubbed his headache, ... even though he is not into cuddling but he loved it as he thought he was dying.

During the vomit clean-up (getting on my hands and knees with a rage and bucket of hot water) of the multiple areas of not actually reaching the target (the toilet), ... . I burst out into tears thinking about where his mom is right now and how she is soo missing out on parenting ... . even at times like this.

In retrospect, ... . it was always me doing the diaper clean ups when the kids were infants and toddlers, ... . it was me that did the vomit clean-ups, ... . etc etc

This is why my teenagers respect me so very much and really do not want anything to do with their mom. She was never a good mom. Only brief periods was she ever good at being a mom, ... . mostly like buying the kids a new chirt or pants. But hardly ever the "dirty jobs".

So, why am I posting this?  Well, ... this is co-parenting after the split. And I am doing ALL the parenting like I always did anyway.  But I  love each and every minute of it. My ex has no idea how satisfying it is to love ... . just to love... . and be a parent. She is missing out big time.

I am gong to be a wreck when the kids fly the nest.

[ogopogodude]

my 14 year old son has the gastrointestinal flu and all last night and into the wee hours of the morning, ... he vomited at least a twenty times.  He was as white as a ghost. (His older sister was downstairs doing her homework until 11:00).

He was hot and sweaty, then cold as a cadaver. I caressed his hair line and temple-rubbed his headache, ... even though he is not into cuddling but he loved it as he thought he was dying.

During the vomit clean-up (getting on my hands and knees with a rage and bucket of hot water) of the multiple areas of not actually reaching the target (the toilet), ... . I burst out into tears thinking about where his mom is right now and how she is soo missing out on parenting ... . even at times like this.

In retrospect, ... . it was always me doing the diaper clean ups when the kids were infants and toddlers, ... . it was me that did the vomit clean-ups, ... . etc etc

This is why my teenagers respect me so very much and really do not want anything to do with their mom. She was never a good mom. Only brief periods was she ever good at being a mom, ... . mostly like buying the kids a new chirt or pants. But hardly ever the "dirty jobs".

So, why am I posting this?  Well, ... this is co-parenting after the split. And I am doing ALL the parenting like I always did anyway.  But I  love each and every minute of it. My ex has no idea how satisfying it is to love ... . just to love... . and be a parent. She is missing out big time.

I am gong to be a wreck when the kids fly the nest.

[ogopogodude]

I am at work here during a break, ... and I can hardly wait to get home to nurture my son and make my daughter dinner.

Live is good.

[Turkish]

I am at work here during a break, ... and I can hardly wait to get home to nurture my son and make my daughter dinner.

Live is good.

It must feel good to write that. Good dad! I hear you about loving every minute of it. uBPDx used to say, "you must need a break from them." NO, I don't need a "break." They're my children, I'll take care of them 24/7 until the day I die if need be. Projection... .

The week before mine finally left the house, she called to see how the kids were. I was sleeping on the trundle in the kids' room to watch over them. D1 was coughing, then vomiting (due to mucous, still getting over a head cold), then S4 had a fever onset. I told her this through text. She went to the gym anyway, said she'd be home in 40 mins. 1 hour 40 mins later she showed up... . (after seeing her boy toy, no doubt). I had it all taken care of by then. S4 wanted to sleep with me for comfort (not his mom on the couch). She would have come home if I said I needed her, but that isn't the point. I didn't "need" her; her kids did. And she failed.

[ogopogodude]

Thanks... . I would do anything for my children.

My son has been texting me lots: What can I eat? No dairy, right, dad? Please hurry home after work,... Canyou bring chicken noodle soup home,... ? Also, ... bring home more O.J. Thx, etc

I like texts like that from my kids, ... .

Life  really is good.

My kids are going to be very good parents (when they have children) , ... . i am gong to make sure that they are... .  

[MammaMia]

My BPDexh was absent for so much... . in fact all, of our children's trials and tribulations, and he was never supportive of me.  It was very easy to divorce him.

We did not need him.  He had made himself non-existent. 

[NyGirl8]

Oh Mammamia... . I wish my ex would disappear.  But, he is busy buffing out the narcissistic insults I flung at him as he once again did some lovely splitting as well as projection and just overall emotionally torturing me.  I did it anyway.  I had to get out the hatred I have for him.  So, he is now playing ":)ad of the year" with my replacement and THAT is my payback.  I wish I could hope for the day when he can no longer maintain the façade, but, that will also be the day my girls hurt... . so I am stuck.  I know one day their independence and forming of their own opinions and self will insult his personality disorder... . and then they will become less important pawns in his game of gaining narc supply at all costs.

ogopogodude.  I just love your post!  This has been my recent steps on my journey.  I was raised by a codependent Mother and a BPD/NPD Father.  My mother was always there for me... . but I also never felt very supported or close to her.  Her amazing fears kept me at a distance.  I do NOT want this to me my daughters and me.  I am coming out of the fog of being married to a NPD/BPD... . I am committed to my daughters first and I so agree, parenting is one of the best most awesome thing... . even in the trenches of puke and sickness!  Nicely done, keep it up!  Your kids are lucky!

[ogopogodude]

Thanks, … I really do not know why I posted this silly topic on vomit and diarrhea. But it is a fact of life.  I think I wept while I cleaned up the mess mainly because I want(ed) my wife to enjoy the trials & tribulations of parenting, ... but mostly of the responsibility of it all.

It is soo rewarding. 

To comfort a child…, … to alleviate your child's pain, ... to listen to their thoughts … to turn your head & look him in the eye while he talks excitedly about who the Pittsburgh Penquins drafted or traded (when you really do not  give a sh!t but you make it look like it is as important to you as it is him)… to ask him how he did on his French 8 quiz that we studied with flash cards the night before…

Now THAT is parenting. 

And I am so sad that their mom is missing out on all of this….

[NyGirl8]

Sadly, she is probably not sad at all... . but I get it.  I thought I married a "great Dad".  One of the things I fell for was how he was with his daughter from a previous relationship... .

I think now I feel more pity (with strong waves of hatred and anger still).  Pity he will never see the joy in parenting, the simple joys that warm our hearts... . he is blind too.  Makes me sad for him and my daughters... .

[ForeverDad]

It's times like this you need to position a trash can or basket, lined with bags of course, so there's always something nearby.