Does documenting help?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I'm wondering if documenting has ever really helped anyone in court. dBPDex is always late for either pick up/drop off, disregards our parenting plan completely and will always demand out of nowhere that I leave work to pick up our child otherwise he will threaten to not return him for days. I'm engaged and have completely moved on with my life. My ex will normally go weeks without seeing our child then out of nowhere he will say that I'm not coparenting and I'm keeping our boy away from him. I really want to go back to court and just abolish the entire plan and get his rights taken away. He has a severe history with drug abuse, he's clean now but who knows how long that will last, his ex wife had a restraining order against him for abuse and battery and he has moved 5 times in the last year.

I've documented EVERYTHING and filed police reports for everything that I can so that there is real documentation for his actions. The officer that completed the most recent report said he thought I had a good shot at getting full custody of my 18 month old son. Thoughts on this? I always assumed it would be very difficult to remove my ex from the picture.

[Stuffie]

I'm wondering if documenting has ever really helped anyone in court. dBPDex is always late for either pick up/drop off, disregards our parenting plan completely and will always demand out of nowhere that I leave work to pick up our child otherwise he will threaten to not return him for days. I'm engaged and have completely moved on with my life. My ex will normally go weeks without seeing our child then out of nowhere he will say that I'm not coparenting and I'm keeping our boy away from him. I really want to go back to court and just abolish the entire plan and get his rights taken away. He has a severe history with drug abuse, he's clean now but who knows how long that will last, his ex wife had a restraining order against him for abuse and battery and he has moved 5 times in the last year.

I've documented EVERYTHING and filed police reports for everything that I can so that there is real documentation for his actions. The officer that completed the most recent report said he thought I had a good shot at getting full custody of my 18 month old son. Thoughts on this? I always assumed it would be very difficult to remove my ex from the picture.

[Turkish]

I'm wondering if documenting has ever really helped anyone in court. dBPDex is always late for either pick up/drop off, disregards our parenting plan completely and will always demand out of nowhere that I leave work to pick up our child otherwise he will threaten to not return him for days. I'm engaged and have completely moved on with my life. My ex will normally go weeks without seeing our child then out of nowhere he will say that I'm not coparenting and I'm keeping our boy away from him. I really want to go back to court and just abolish the entire plan and get his rights taken away. He has a severe history with drug abuse, he's clean now but who knows how long that will last, his ex wife had a restraining order against him for abuse and battery and he has moved 5 times in the last year.

I've documented EVERYTHING and filed police reports for everything that I can so that there is real documentation for his actions. The officer that completed the most recent report said he thought I had a good shot at getting full custody of my 18 month old son. Thoughts on this? I always assumed it would be very difficult to remove my ex from the picture.

Hello ahobson, your desire seems clear... . is this last point what is holding you back from taking the next steps?

[Stuffie]

I'm wondering if documenting has ever really helped anyone in court. dBPDex is always late for either pick up/drop off, disregards our parenting plan completely and will always demand out of nowhere that I leave work to pick up our child otherwise he will threaten to not return him for days. I'm engaged and have completely moved on with my life. My ex will normally go weeks without seeing our child then out of nowhere he will say that I'm not coparenting and I'm keeping our boy away from him. I really want to go back to court and just abolish the entire plan and get his rights taken away. He has a severe history with drug abuse, he's clean now but who knows how long that will last, his ex wife had a restraining order against him for abuse and battery and he has moved 5 times in the last year.

I've documented EVERYTHING and filed police reports for everything that I can so that there is real documentation for his actions. The officer that completed the most recent report said he thought I had a good shot at getting full custody of my 18 month old son. Thoughts on this? I always assumed it would be very difficult to remove my ex from the picture.

Hello ahobson, your desire seems clear... . is this last point what is holding you back from taking the next steps?

Basically, yes. I don't want to put forth thousands of dollars AGAIN for nothing. My ex is definitely not going to be doing any good in our son's life.

[Turkish]

I'm wondering if documenting has ever really helped anyone in court. dBPDex is always late for either pick up/drop off, disregards our parenting plan completely and will always demand out of nowhere that I leave work to pick up our child otherwise he will threaten to not return him for days. I'm engaged and have completely moved on with my life. My ex will normally go weeks without seeing our child then out of nowhere he will say that I'm not coparenting and I'm keeping our boy away from him. I really want to go back to court and just abolish the entire plan and get his rights taken away. He has a severe history with drug abuse, he's clean now but who knows how long that will last, his ex wife had a restraining order against him for abuse and battery and he has moved 5 times in the last year.

I've documented EVERYTHING and filed police reports for everything that I can so that there is real documentation for his actions. The officer that completed the most recent report said he thought I had a good shot at getting full custody of my 18 month old son. Thoughts on this? I always assumed it would be very difficult to remove my ex from the picture.

Hello ahobson, your desire seems clear... . is this last point what is holding you back from taking the next steps?

Basically, yes. I don't want to put forth thousands of dollars AGAIN for nothing. My ex is definitely not going to be doing any good in our son's life.

The drug use is certainly the hardest unknown to deal with... . so best case, you are thinking full custody with supervised visitations? It's frustrating to have him control you like that, demanding that you leave to pick up you son. If you don't see any ill behaviors or mood changes in your son with this "arrangement" can you live with it for now?

[Stuffie]

I'm wondering if documenting has ever really helped anyone in court. dBPDex is always late for either pick up/drop off, disregards our parenting plan completely and will always demand out of nowhere that I leave work to pick up our child otherwise he will threaten to not return him for days. I'm engaged and have completely moved on with my life. My ex will normally go weeks without seeing our child then out of nowhere he will say that I'm not coparenting and I'm keeping our boy away from him. I really want to go back to court and just abolish the entire plan and get his rights taken away. He has a severe history with drug abuse, he's clean now but who knows how long that will last, his ex wife had a restraining order against him for abuse and battery and he has moved 5 times in the last year.

I've documented EVERYTHING and filed police reports for everything that I can so that there is real documentation for his actions. The officer that completed the most recent report said he thought I had a good shot at getting full custody of my 18 month old son. Thoughts on this? I always assumed it would be very difficult to remove my ex from the picture.

Hello ahobson, your desire seems clear... . is this last point what is holding you back from taking the next steps?

Basically, yes. I don't want to put forth thousands of dollars AGAIN for nothing. My ex is definitely not going to be doing any good in our son's life.

The drug use is certainly the hardest unknown to deal with... . so best case, you are thinking full custody with supervised visitations? It's frustrating to have him control you like that, demanding that you leave to pick up you son. If you don't see any ill behaviors or mood changes in your son with this "arrangement" can you live with it for now?

I'd be perfectly okay with supervised visitation. It really scares me that my son could be witnessing some disturbing things with his father. The supervision would give me a lot of peace of mind.

[marbleloser]

Yes,documenting helps.

"My ex will normally go weeks without seeing our child then out of nowhere he will say that I'm not coparenting and I'm keeping our boy away from him."

This is where documentation would come in handy.If you can prove that he is going weeks without seeing the child,you'll have grounds to modify custody and visitation.

You'll need a calendar,and keep a count of when you have the kid,and when he does. Be honest.

Do things on days he's "supposed" to have the kid,like go to a movie.Keep the receipt,document it on your calendar,and take a photo of you and the child at the movie theater(or anywhere else you want to go)

It takes about 6 months of documenting this type of behavior to seek a modification,so be prepared to document for this length of time,at the least.

Honestly,it's best to always document,even after divorce.You never know what kind of accusations might creep up or when you'll need it.

Documentation beats "he said/she said".

[david]

I found that documenting does help. I also learned that judges do not want to look at hundreds of papers.

What has worked for me is I make a cover sheet that puts all the important information on it. Underneath that is the pages and pages of documents supporting my cover sheet. Typically the judge gives it to ex. She looks at the cover sheet and doesn't want to look at the pages underneath either. She agrees with the cover sheet and it becomes evidence. The rest comes back to me. Since I am telling the truth and ex knows it she doesn't object nor does her atty, since we would then have to look at everything, and that would tick the judge off.