What a weekend

[arn131arn]

My boy and I spent our first weekend together in a very long time.

She didn't allow me to see him for his birthday  a few weeks ago (filed bogus RO to prevent me actually). 

oh well, We had a surprise birthday party for him today with my family.  He loved it.  My family and I made the entire weekend about him.  He told me today over and over again that it was the best day he had had in a long long time.

Nobody in my family, including myself, will ever talk bad about my ex to him.  We believe that telling a child something bad about one of their parents is telling them that there is something terrible about half of them. 

It made my heart swell, when he told me, "I love you and miss you, daddy."

You see that was my biggest fear.  My replacement taking my place, not only as the man in my ex's life; but the man in my son's, as well.  God removed that fear from me today.  From my head to my heart came the conscious realization that I will always be his father and no amount of vindictiveness from his mother or her family is going to stop that.  All I need to do is stay sober and be there for my son. 

I reinforced I was not mad at mommy nor my replacement.  I reinforced that I was, indeed, happy for them both... . he smiled.  I will not let him think that he is in the middle of this in any way.  His smile warmed my heart, settled my nerves, and in his eyes, I could see the presence of a God.  He doesn't judge me, he doesn't think I'm terrible, he doesn't see my flaws or defects... . he sees a man that he wants in his life... . a man that he loves. 

That, my friends, is my definition of a higher being. That is my reason for living. 

My last test for a while is on Tuesday, I will be studying until then.  I believe we have all walked through a little hell in these relationships, but if we continue to do the right thing, no matter how bad the struggle, we WILL recreate our lives with those around us who love us.

What a wonderful life this is... .

[Waifed]

Arn

You will always be Dad.  Don't you ever doubt that.

[Turkish]

That is so awesome, Arn, and I'm happy for you, your son, and your family. This weekend is the start of a new and better life!

[fromheeltoheal]

Good weekend man!  I'm really happy you had that time with your son and it filled up your heart.

[Cumulus]

What an uplifting post, thank you arn. You sound like a really special and wonderful father, your boy is blessed to have a stabilizing presence in his life. All the best. Cumulus.

[designgrl]

What a wonderful thing you did for your son this weekend!

I enjoyed reading your post!

Cheers to you!

[Perfidy]

Very cool arn, that's awesome. Your son will always remember that, and he knows no one else can be his dad. I love what you said about the feelings you have when you look in his eyes. What a perfect guide. That is the same feeling you have when you look in your own eyes and place that same value upon your self. Happy for you!

[Tausk]

   

Thanks for the post.   I don't have children, but got very emotional just reading the first paragraphs.    Thanks again.   It helps me when you share your courage and hope.   

   

[myself]

   

[Surnia]

Arn,

I am so happy for you. 

You see that was my biggest fear.  My replacement taking my place, not only as the man in my ex's life; but the man in my son's, as well.  God removed that fear from me today.  From my head to my heart came the conscious realization that I will always be his father and no amount of vindictiveness from his mother or her family is going to stop that.  All I need to do is stay sober and be there for my son. 

[A Dad]

Hugs man 

I just came back to bed after struggling 4 hours putting my two boys back in bed as they kept waking up at night. This post made me tear up. They are everything. The thing about seeing God in their eyes. Feels so true, and I don't even believe in God.

[arn131arn]

Hugs man 

I just came back to bed after struggling 4 hours putting my two boys back in bed as they kept waking up at night. This post made me tear up. They are everything. The thing about seeing God in their eyes. Feels so true, and I don't even believe in God.

As a science and math guy, I felt that way many many times before, dad.  Yet throughout this entire process, He has been revealing himself to me.  Subtley. I don't think I can ever truly say there is not one... . ever again.


You are right, he is everything to me.  They pull at your heartstrings.  Damn, I love that boy

[GreenMango]

This was wonderful to read Arn.   

[Clearmind]

Great news

[DreamGirl]

Nobody in my family, including myself, will ever talk bad about my ex to him.  We believe that telling a child something bad about one of their parents is telling them that there is something terrible about half of them. 

This is pretty amazing arn131arn.

Not many folks can accomplish this.

I am thrilled that you were able to see your son... . and will continue to be able to.

Kids need their Dad.