Hi joshbjoshb,
perfection is not achievable and this would have happened sooner or later. Still tough
I sigh. I said already 50 times today that I don't want to leave, but feel for my mental well being I need to leave.
I guess it is time to make clear to her that you hate her... .
Not really, but you can't pretend to be happy with her all the time and feel different. By your own admission you are lying to her and I doubt the tone of your voice is not giving you away and triggering her. Sometimes one is upset and angry and it is ok too.
Maybe time to switch to a more dialectic message -
"Actually no. You destroyed me so much that I have no family and no friends, so if you will leave I might have a nervous breakdown or commit suicide. Then you will be happy because you have the children."
I hate you too and then I love you too. My head is spinning and I need a break. See you later.Grey messages are difficult to get right to get through to her so black
and white messages can sometimes stand in.