"Fairy Talk" I just had to post this :-)

[Depression = 72% of members]

I thought this was funny. SET and validation referred to as "Fairy Talk"!

uBPDw: "Please stop this fairy talk.  it makes me sick.  you don't know how difficult it is.  you really don't. When things get tough you just run away"

Moselle:"OK that's going the same way. I'll not accept anyone talking to me that way. Sorry. I'll get back to you later"

uBPDw: "Perhaps there's a lot of truth there.  you hide when the truth comes out. you're going to see the truth very soon."

[Moselle]

I thought this was funny. SET and validation referred to as "Fairy Talk"!

uBPDw: "Please stop this fairy talk.  it makes me sick.  you don't know how difficult it is.  you really don't. When things get tough you just run away"

Moselle:"OK that's going the same way. I'll not accept anyone talking to me that way. Sorry. I'll get back to you later"

uBPDw: "Perhaps there's a lot of truth there.  you hide when the truth comes out. you're going to see the truth very soon."

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

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[Moselle]

Bizarre,

She's gone from threatening divorce (1,5 hours ago) to a nice conversation about photography 10 minutes ago.

That has never happened, in 14 years. It has always been a 4 or 5 day meltdown, and I have played my role.

This is the most progress ever! It helps me to know that consistent SET and validation works, even if they go mad when you do it. Thanks bpdfamily.com

[ziniztar]

That's great news, congratulations.

Do expect the extinction burst though .

[Narrow Gate]

I just get "to late, you should have said that years ago".  She still thinks you can undo or redo the past.

[an0ught]

This is the most progress ever! It helps me to know that consistent SET and validation works, even if they go mad when you do it. Thanks bpdfamily.com

This is indeed progress. It takes months and sometimes years or deliberate effort for us to change ourselves and the progress on the other side is often starting later as it is an adaptation to our healthier behavior. The benefit of us not getting sucked into a fight is that a rebound on the pwBPD side can be faster. Boundaries can provide strong incentives for self regulation.