Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
March 29, 2024, 10:38:01 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: Cat Familiar, EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Depression = 72% of members
Take the test, read about the implications, and check out the remedies.
111
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Is medication likely to help?  (Read 379 times)
Ceruleanblue
********
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 1343



« on: July 01, 2014, 11:19:21 AM »

My uBPDh just got his medication dosage doubled. He has been off it for a bit, due to not filling it, but at the last doctor visit, his doctor upped his dosage. He started taking the higher dosage last night. Last night after his latest dysregulated anger episode, he was almost apologetic(I feel it's faked), and he said "I don't know why I'm so moody, hopefully this medicine helps".

He is way beyond "moody", he is just plain rage filled, angry, blaming, he sees things not always as they happen, or he perceives things in a negative way, and he creates drama so he can then blame me and take his anger out on me. He projects.

Is any drug likely to help with all this? I could see if he was low on the scale of this, but he seems to have it very badly. His symptoms are extreme. His rage and how often it occurs is extreme. We can sometimes get a few good days in, but I always know it doesn't last. His norm is to blow up on me almost every day. It's like it's his stress relief, to cut me down, belittle me, make me try to appease his anger, then HE feels better, but I feel like crawling into a dark hole.

Has anyone's BPD partners had any improvement with medication? I'm hoping it can help, and I'm glad he is on it, but I'd love to see him pair this with some therapy geared for BPD. My uBPDh actually suggested the other night that for our occasional nightly reading he read to me from the book "Stop Walking on Eggshells"... .I was sort of floored by that. Of course, that was one of the "good days" for him. I get hopeful on those few good days, only to have my hopes dashed. Realistically, I know he is never going to be "cured", but I just want him to be self aware, and at least try to be some better.

I feel my husband's doctor must suspect BPD or he wouldn't have prescribed an antipsychotic med?
Logged
PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES
This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

maxsterling
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic Partner
Relationship status: living together, engaged
Posts: 2772



« Reply #1 on: July 01, 2014, 12:36:07 PM »

My GF has been diagnosed with BPD for over a decade.  She's been on probably every kind of anti-depressant and anti-psychotic on the market.  She's done all the illegal drugs, too.  And here she is, as BPD as ever, still raging, still blaming.

In her own words, none of the antidepressants have done her much good.  She's been on several different ones since I met her, and while I have seen what I would call slight improvement at times, it's not enough to say that the antidepressants have contributed to the improvement.  What I have noticed, is that she will stop taking an antidepressant for one reason or another (complaints of side effects or it not working), and within a few days, ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE.  While on the antidepressant, she was depressed but stable, when she comes off, the rages start again.   

So, back to your question - the meds may help some, but I doubt you will see a major improvement.  Curious that he wanted to read a book about BPD.  My GF went ballistic on me last night for reading a book on BPD, says that proves I am trying to blame everything on her and not looking at myself.
Logged

sweetheart
*******
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married, together 11 years. Not living together since June 2017, but still in a relationship.
Posts: 1235



« Reply #2 on: July 01, 2014, 01:05:30 PM »

Hello Ceruleanblue,

There are many similarities in the intensity and frequency of my dBPDh dysregulations compared to yours. My husband also has a diagnosis of a Paranoid Schizophrenia but it is his BPD that is the primary presentation and diagnosis. He has a very violent past when he was a lot younger long before I knew him, he wasn't diagnosed and used illicit drugs which led to disastrous consequences for him.

What we have a lot of experience of is medication, so  I can tell you about my experience of him on medication and what his P has said to us over the years he has been seeing her. He has been on every type of antipsychotic medication available except Clozapine. There is no one type of medication indicated just for BPD, but what my dBPDhs P does is treat his symptoms. He is currently px Amisulpiride which is used to manage feelings of anger, paranoia and delusional thoughts. It can be taken in a regular dose or as required. He is also px Stelazine an old fashioned antipsychotic which is useful for anxiety, he takes this as he needs it. He is also px tranquillisers and sleeping tablets. A couple of other medications that are used for BPD are mood stabilisers and SSRI antidepressants.

This is what I have witnessed, when my dBPDh is seriously dysregulated nothing short of a sledgehammer would stop him. I have witnessed him take handfuls of medication whilst dysregulated and it has made no difference whatsoever. All the medication he is px and has taken over the years have not made any significant difference to any aspect of his BPD whilst dysregulated. it is like the disorder consumes him and he becomes a completely different man. He reminds me of the Incredible Hulk ( except he doesn't turn green Smiling (click to insert in post) ). What medication does do for him is help him stabilise fluctuating moods swings and acute anxiety day to day.

His P has said to me that for low functioning pwBPD like my husband it is very difficult to treat with medication and/or therapy. He has been offered DBT, but has been told that he needs to be more stable as it is usually only indicated for individuals who can commit to the work required for at least a two year period and have a good degree of insight into their diagnosis. Like any disorder or illness there are variations on a continuum for each individual. DBT and therapy in general also require a certain amount of emotional stability as a starting point, otherwise a pwBPD maybe triggered more by the therapy. To date my husband has refused the offer, but he has stayed engaged over the years with his mental health team.

It is positive that your husband can suggest reading Stop Walking on Eggshells, my dBPDh is more likely to rip the book to shreds Laugh out loud (click to insert in post).

It is a positive step that your husband has been px medication, it means at least that the doctor is listening and taking the situation seriously. It takes a while for most medications of this kind to reach an optimal level for best effects, so there might not be an immediate change. I keep a diary of my husbands symptoms and dysregulations because he has such a poor memory and is a lousy historian. You can always give your version of how your husband is to the doctor and ask this to be confidential like 'third party information.'

For your husband it might be a time of trial and error but if he is prepared to consider taking medication this too is positive.

I am sorry Ceruleanblue that you are having such a difficult time, it is a truly devastating disorder to live alongside in someone you love. I hate the disorder.

Hang on to the 'good days' they are easy to loose sight of in the midst of so much chaos. Make sure you are looking after you and not exposing yourself to his rages and moods. I too did this and it nearly cost me my marriage, now I remove myself even if it means leaving the house. Take super good care of yourself Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)

Logged

Ceruleanblue
********
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 1343



« Reply #3 on: July 01, 2014, 04:16:03 PM »

Sweetheart:

I'm sorry that you too are going through this. It's sad, but I take comfort in at least knowing that others have it as rough as I do. That it's not just how I interact with him, or that it's all me, like he used to have me almost buying into. I've found that no matter how I interact, or withdraw, or validate, he still rages. My only option is to leave when he does that. Nothing good ever comes by trying to stay and continue to validate... .it just seems to turn into me JADE-ing, and of course that doesn't work.

My husband has moments of acting like The Hulk too, only it's more verbal type vomit, not him destroying things. He thinks because he doesn't ruin things, that there is no real damage. I wish he could see my soul, and feel my feelings, because then he could see the damage he has done.

It would be easier to live with if he acknowledged it. If once he came down from one of his rages, he had actual regret or remorse. He mostly just blames me for setting him off, or makes me guess why he is mad. I've stopped playing that game for the most part.

I was so hoping that this drug would make a dent in his anger and behaviors, but my gut feeling told me it probably wouldn't. Until he starts taking some personal responsibility, and starts wanting his life to be different, he is stuck. Which means I am stuck too, to some extent.

I am taking good care of myself now, which I was not in the beginning. I sacrificed so much of me, and my feelings and boundaries, that I almost had a breakdown. Now I realize that nothing I do is good enough for him anyway, or it goes unnoticed and unappreciated, so he can focus more on my perceived(by him) flaws. He sure wouldn't like it if I did that to him. He gets to play victim, and pretend that all his issues are because of me, yet he had these issues prior to me. It goes way back to his teen years, at least.

I guess time will tell if the medication works or not.
Logged
Ceruleanblue
********
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 1343



« Reply #4 on: July 01, 2014, 04:20:09 PM »

Sweetheart:

That didn't come out right: I'm not "glad" that you or anyone has it as hard as I do! What I meant is that I'm sad you too have it hard dealing with a BPD partner, but I'm glad you were open enough to share it with me. It makes me feel way less alone, and like I'm not the only one dealing with a partner that seems to have an extreme case.

I wish none of us had to deal with anyone who has BPD, or that those who have it just didn't. It can't be fun for them either.
Logged
Love Is Not Enough
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Engaged and living together
Posts: 292

Confidence is the gateway to hope


« Reply #5 on: July 01, 2014, 04:34:55 PM »

While on the antidepressant, she was depressed but stable, when she comes off, the rages start again.

This was my BPDgf on Prozac. She dysyregulated very little while she was on it, but could not stand feeling like a zombie and stopped taking it.

Now she is on Wellbutrin which I can tell you to avoid at all costs. There is something called Wellbutrin Rage and I have seen it. Recently I talked her into taking a magnesium supplement to take the "edge" off and it was working well. Unfortunately she stopped taking it because was having stomach issues with it and I can already tell she is more edgy the last couple of days. I am trying to get her to stop taking antidepressants all together. She even admits that it does not seem to do much for her depression.

I do not think she is even depressed. I think it is more anxiety that she is confusing with depression. I really think she has improved enough with DBT to not need anything now. I hope she stops the Wellbutrin soon to see if she feel better without it.
Logged

Never to suffer would never to have been blessed ~ Edgar Allan Poe
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!