I guess my BPD BF left me. Anyone else had this experience?

[SybilVane]

Hello people

I've already told all my story here. Whatever, I still needing some support.

In resume, about 10 days ago, I have a big discussion with my BPD BF (who lives in other country) because he thought I was taking so long time to buy my tickets to go to his country on my next vacation (August). In the end, he gave me an ultimatum: I should buy the tickets in two days or simply don't go.

I declined the ultimatum and told him that I should not go. On the following day, I wrote him an email explaining him that, opposite what he thinks, I havent changed my mind regarding keeping our relationship. He never opened the email.

So I made him a video explaining everything, why was a bad idea to impose me an ultimatum, but that its nor true I wanted to give up. I told him on the video that I want to travel.

He watched the video, but gave me no answer.

I think he finally decided to break everything. The problem is that I love and miss him, and since he told me last time we talked he was seeking for therapeutical help, I started to think that 'we still have a chance'.

I told on the video that my travel could answer us if we still can be together or not.

This kind already happened with someone else? I know BPD can suddenly quit a relationship, but I wasnt expecting for this.

His silence is torturing me. Something inside me tells me he is gone forever.

How deal with the situation when your BPD partner leaves you?

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[joshbjoshb]

I have answered that in the past... .I can never figure out why would someone STAY if it's only a BF or a GF. And he left you on his own? And you ask what to do?

Simply dance somewhere.

[maxsterling]

Well, it sucks to have someone whom you put so much into suddenly leave without a trace  (just think for the pwBPD in our lives, that has happened over and over and all the damage it did to them).  Its painful to have a relationship end like this, it's happened to me, and I feel your pain.

Josh does have a good point - many of us here deep down know we would be better off in the long run if the pwBPD in our lives suddenly left.  The short term hurt would be tremendous, but long term we know we would be better off.  I know that would be the situation now.  Of course I would miss her deeply, but I am soo worn out from the chaos that I feel like there is no other option for me than to just let her go.

I had a BPD/NPD gf break up with me once, rather suddenly.  I actually had a mix of sadness and relief as I realized how much I had been walking the eggshells with her.  The tough part is when she contacted me a few days later telling me she always wanted me in her life and wanted to remain friends (of course this was confusing to me)  We were "friends" for about a month and a half before I realized she was just dumping the same crap on me.  So, I basically laid out terms of a continued friendship, she got POed, and we went NC.  At that point, I felt relief.