Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
March 29, 2024, 08:51:19 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: Cat Familiar, EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Books members most read
105
The High
Conflict Couple
Loving Someone with
Borderline Personality Disorder
Loving the
Self-Absorbed
Borderline Personality
Disorder Demystified

Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Silent Treatment  (Read 345 times)
SybilVane
**
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 59



« on: July 04, 2014, 07:41:02 PM »

I've been reading some old topics regarding the 'silent treatment' as a 'method' used by many BPD as a way to punish their partners.

Does anyone know any other reason which can be behind this behaviour?

Which was the longest the period of 'silent treatment' imposed by your BPD partner? These periods tend to be longer according some pattern (time of relationship, intensity of the feelings etc)?

Thanks for sharing your experience and opinion.
Logged
PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES
This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

patientandclear
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: single
Posts: 2785



« Reply #1 on: July 04, 2014, 11:43:33 PM »

The workshop on silent treatment and many of our experiences reflect that silent treatment also occurs when the pwBPD is dissociating or needs time to re-regulate, stabilize or recover her or his footing. Some of the BPD partners of members here have reported having very little awareness of why they were "away" for so long. It's almost as if aspects of their consciousness were suspended for a time. Often this goes along with fear of rejection if they were to re-emerge and make contact.

It's not unheard of for silent treatment to extend for many months, with the pwBPD considering that they are not even broken up, necessarily.
Logged
rodman8

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 40


« Reply #2 on: July 04, 2014, 11:44:26 PM »

The first was two weeks, but there were a couple texts here and there.  We were still dating at the time though.  And, there was no punishment.  She was obviously trying to hide something from me, and did not want to come clean on her lie.  The second time was one week, and that was from a minor argument we had.  I broke the no contact, or who knows how long it would have lasted.  The third time was 5 weeks, and that was after we broke up and she met the new guy, so obviously she did not know how to tell me there was someone else.  The fourth time was two months, and it was right before I was supposed to come out and visit her.  She cancelled at the last minute, and disappeared until once again I broke the no contact.  This last time has been four months since I last received a text from her.  I lent her $3,000 (stupid, stupid move on my part) and after telling me she had half my money ready to be sent to me, it never came.  She then disappeared and blocked me from her social media.  Nice person, huh?  I have no idea if I will hear from her again.  However, I have decided to sue her, so one way or another she will have to deal with it in some capacity.

The silent treatment is excruciating.  I hate, hate, hate it.  But you can't teach good behavior.  They have to hold themself accountable, and they almost always choose not to.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!