Trying everything

[mjsunshine]

10 year relationship. Can not leave (love) but do not want to stay (hurts). Just knotted mess. I am smart successful attractive girl. He takes my accomplishments (work, travel, friends) as a threat. Better at night but I cannot stay up til 3am and wake up for 6/7. Need a vent and thank for posts/platform. People here have been very supportive and I've learned to deal differently.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[LilHurt420]

Hi Mjsunshine!  You are not alone.  I could have written your post myself.  We've been together 10 years and things have been just a mess.

My husband also expects me to stay up til 3am nightly when I have to wake up at 6/7am to get to work and get our son to school.  I used to try to do it and it was affecting everything.  Now I'm pregnant with our 2nd so it's even more impossible for me to stay awake that long to listen to his rants or spend time with him... .but he still acts like a child when I just need to go to sleep.  It seems common for them to stay up all night.

I've found this board is good for venting if anything.  Even if I don't get many or any repsonses to my posts, at least I get to get this stuff out somewhere.  I always feel like I'm not able to communicate it to my husband.

[rj47]

This is quite likely one of the most healthy places you can be... .as there are likely few avenues around to help you manage through in the isolation you must feel. You may never make sense of the near madness you're facing from day to day; but, it sure helps to know that its largely "not you". I've been here for about two years after 27 years of abuse thinking I was a failure at relationship and life. In my case, I've picked up many things to help her manage through the episodes, setting minimal boundaries, learning not to take things personally (its always personal right?), and, to focus on remaking myself into a better person. Its a challenge to face our own issues with clarity when the PD elephant in the room is looming large and trying to crush us daily. Reading, interacting and staying engaged on the list has been cathartic in a positive way.