Trying to Reconcile with GF of 10 years possible BPD

[withoutapaddle]

Hi,

I am in love with one the sweetest, kindest, compassionate, giving women I know. But there is this other side. This person who is rarely happy with what I do, threatening suicide, pushing, crazy stuff.

We have had a roller coaster of a relationship for 10 years. The last 3 years it became even worse. We tried couples therapy, and it worked when both of us used the tools. She still had me jumping through hoops. She wanted to get married really bad and have kids. I wanted the same but this whole never being happy thing made me drag my feet.On top of that she had this group of friends for the past few years that were always in her hear about me putting a ring on it. I know this outside pressure affected her as well.

A fight happened and she decided to move out. We agreed to a 3 month separation and work on our issues and become better. She didnt change one bit. Everything she said was the same, and sometimes even more vile.

In these last few days I asked to give her a letter just explaining my feelings. She said that we needed to set boundaries. When I told her that there was no need for boundaries I would be out of her life forever as she's demonstrated she lashed out and said that I didnt love her. Which makes no sense to me. When I met with her one of the things she said was if we got back together she would resent ME!

Shes been giving me a bunch of mixed signals these past 2 weeks. Warm and then rude.

For some reason I still care for her and want the best for her. I know that there is this hurt little girl inside. I cant say its BPD, but from all of my research it really seems that way. We havent had communication going on 5 days, yet theres still a few items for her to pick up. One of which she even brought back to the house. She has also removed all but 3 pictures from FB.

Like I said, for some reason my love is still there for her. Is there anyway of getting through to her? Ideas, suggestions?

Thank you!

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[withoutapaddle]

To add to that. Ive read about not communicating with your ex for at least 2 weeks before contacting. And that's a "healthy" person. This situation seems different due to what I assume is BPD.

[Fanie]

My suggestion is to read a lot, and I mean lots ... .

We need to understand where we are and where do we want to go to in our

relationships with our SO's

Start by reading; https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=56206

Don't be hasty there is loads of info here

   and May God Bless

[withoutapaddle]

Thank you very much Fanie! Ill be checking it out!