By Monday morning, he was able to tell me that he feels jealous of this job that I have (I brought up that possibility before I took the job). He 'feels' like it is another lover -- like I am committing adultery. He knows that it isn't really a rational feeling, so he apologized for that and how he was acting. I thought it was really good that he was able to talk about how he was feeling instead of just reacting to those feelings -- I said that to him.
Two thumbs up. 1 for him to recognize his own feelings/thoughts and that he was able to voice them.
One for you for validating that good behaviour!
My dBPDbf gets to make individual plans as he needs distraction from his feelings. Sometimes he forgets we're in a relationship that sometimes needs quality time and attention. On other occasions when I tell him have to travel for work for 6 days, he will get extremely sad.
What I find difficult: whenever the emotion is really out of proportion (e.g. super sadness when I have to leave for a week) it does not hurt me. I'm somewhat annoyed with his dependance but can also validate that emotion.
Whenever the emotion seems reasonable, or causes me to be pushed away, I all of a suddent can't understand this anymore. Yet it doesn't make me angry - it makes me sad. Like it's two sides of the coin.
Best of luck on this - I know it can be challenging...