Has anyone had any success with medication? Please Help

[janey62]

Having just finally had a diagnosis of Unstable Personality Disorder (another name for BPD), my partner is trying to understand what is happening to him.  He has begun to have some self awareness and that seems to cause him even more pain.  He always had a conscience about treating me badly but now he feels even worse because he realises that he really is ill.

He tried Lithium prescribed by his doctor but it made him feel so ill that they told him to stop taking it after a few days, and now it seems instead of trying something else at maybe a lower dose he has been left to fend for himself... .  He is in crisis now and trying to deal with this new information and attacking me because he is in a crisis.  He's in a bad way.  I'm really scared and also trying to protect myself from the madness which is threatening to engulf both of us. 

Has anyone had any success with meds?  Or am I hoping for a miracle that can't happen?  If he could just get stable for a little time then he'd have a chance maybe of building on the work he's already done and I would have a chance of beginning to work on how I am so that I don't make things worse.  He's been in and out of crisis every 3-5 days for months now and its exhausting.  I don't even live with him but he manages to drag me into this every time. 

So tired... .

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[waverider]

Having just finally had a diagnosis of Unstable Personality Disorder (another name for BPD), my partner is trying to understand what is happening to him.  He has begun to have some self awareness and that seems to cause him even more pain.  He always had a conscience about treating me badly but now he feels even worse because he realises that he really is ill.

He tried Lithium prescribed by his doctor but it made him feel so ill that they told him to stop taking it after a few days, and now it seems instead of trying something else at maybe a lower dose he has been left to fend for himself... .  He is in crisis now and trying to deal with this new information and attacking me because he is in a crisis.  He's in a bad way.  I'm really scared and also trying to protect myself from the madness which is threatening to engulf both of us. 

Has anyone had any success with meds?  Or am I hoping for a miracle that can't happen?  If he could just get stable for a little time then he'd have a chance maybe of building on the work he's already done and I would have a chance of beginning to work on how I am so that I don't make things worse.  He's been in and out of crisis every 3-5 days for months now and its exhausting.  I don't even live with him but he manages to drag me into this every time. 

So tired... .

It is hard my pwBPD has always been on the chase for the perfect pill quick fix and as a result ended up on huge cocktails, abusing them and endless addictions. They caused more trouble than they fix. Lithium is a mood stabilizer commonly used for Bipolar, which is a mood disorder.

Unfortunately personality disorders are not a purely chemical imbalance and are triggered by situational issue. So meds are not that effective for stabilizing BPD moods. My partner has tried lithium, lamotragine, and now Epilim. The obsession for the tablet can cause more problems than it fixes.

If your partner has depression issues they can often be tamed with anti depressants. But there is not much in the way of medication for BPD as a whole, only some symptoms.

I understand the panic he is feeling, when my partner first accepted her diagnosis she too started panicking for a quick fix, and went through a period of ODing weekly trying to get someone to fix her.

I feel for you both it is a very hard experience to go through and you feel abandoned by the medical system.

Any psych meds need to be under the control of a psychiatrist, general doctors are just guessing because the patients are not very good at accurately relating back effectiveness, there can be a huge placebo effect disguising the real effect of medication. ie the emotional mind is overriding the chemistry

[janey62]

Thanks for that Waverider, I suspected that might be the case.  He's very sensitive to medication and says he's felt better since being off the antidepressants.

Hopefully therapy will help and we'll jus have to keep working on our relationship. 

Janey

[janey62]

I feel for you too and your partner's search for the pill which will take it all away,  how frustrating for you both.

[maxsterling]

Well, my fiancé has tried almost all kinds of antidepressants, anti-anxiety, and mood stabilizers over the course of her life.  She's also tried most of the illegal drugs.  And according to her, she's had little success with any of them.  I think she has been on at least 3-4 types of antidepressants and 3 types of mood stabilizers over the past year.  I saw minor change with Welbutrin, but really didn't see much help with any of the rest.  I did see a HUGE crash when she stopped taking them, though.  So if he is taking something and suddenly decides to stop, be prepared for major dysregulation.

[FindingWings]

I have read posts describing low doses of Seroquel as being effective in treating certain symptoms and being very effective if therapy is involved.

Hey, I'm not an MD but its worth looking into the studies.

[waverider]

I have read posts describing low doses of Seroquel as being effective in treating certain symptoms and being very effective if therapy is involved.

Hey, I'm not an MD but its worth looking into the studies.

My partner has been on and off seroquel over the years, it is an antipsychotic, but it can overly sedate them, and even create paranoia issue, which are bad enough already.

Not saying meds are no use. They can take the edge off certain symptoms, but yes they need to be closely monitored by a psychiatrist and used in conjunction with appropriate therapy, as most have them have potential side effects that make other issues a problem. The psychological reliance on them cannot be underestimated

[MissyM]

Medication has been a big issue.  My husband has extreme depression issues, and is non functional without antidepressants.  Come to find out, the last antidepressant he was on was one that contributed to compulsive behavior for some people.  He did things during the years he was on that medicine that he had never done before, not that it caused his behavior but it certainly contributed.  He has just started on Fetzima and we will see how that goes.  It is an SNRI and an SSRI.  So far, he is more emotionally available than he was on the other med.

[janey62]

Thank you all, that's really helpful.

[bpbreakout]

My BPDw was diagnosed bipolar2 a few years ago and is on seroquel (anti psychotic) and tegretol (mood stabaliser). She tried lithium and then epilem but had issues with nausea and weight gain. BPDw tried a new psychiatrist who diagnosed borderline/bipolar/complex ptsd/ADHD. It sounds bad but is was his way of saying these situations are complex which I agree with. He has also unsuccessfully encouraged to her do DBT and psychotherpay for FOO issues. He also told me that mood stabalisers are often used to treat people who have PD's , not just bipolar.

The meds certainly helped in the beginning to manage a very difficult crisis but they do take a lot of experimenting get right and in BPDw's case I think she relies on them too much. There is no silver bullet.

You say he has been left to fend for himself, if I were in your position I would hope that if the lithium is having side effects then your partner would be open to trying some other mood stabaliser & I would have thought whoever is looking after him would have suggested some alternatives. There are many different kinds and whilst they often do have side effects on different people they are not all the same and there is very chance he can find something that works.

It sounds as if you need him to get stable so that you can then stop being dragged in and start looking after yourself. It took me a while but I found that the only way to deal with this was to let go first and look after myself before BPDw started to make some sensible decisions for herself otherwise she would have continued to drag me down with her.