1st joint therapy session

[ziniztar]

Ok, excited and anxious at the same time. Right when I was slowly thinking of checking out the conversations on the Undecided board... .he popped a calendar item for the both of us. He's been keeping me away from his T even though she mentioned a few times I was welcome. And now I can join, next week.

Not really sure what to expect. I do think it is a vote of confidence of him that he wants to make an effort. I have my own T session next Monday... it will be an interesting week.

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[Rapt Reader]

Wow, ziniztar, that is quite a breakthrough!

He must be serious about trying to make things better with you, to have done this. On his own, too. Wow.

It's great that you have your own Therapy appointment first, next week. You may get some good insights into handling the other one afterwards with your partner. I really wish you well with this new development, and can't wait to hear how it goes 

One thing I've noticed with my own BPD loved ones is that once there is a breakthrough of some sort, it's best for me to take it in stride, not making any big deal about it with them--being visibly positive about it, but not too verbally excited about it. My own loved ones have a fear of letting me down if I express my excitement and happiness; they get pressured by that. Do you ever find that, too?

[maxsterling]

I'd say this is positive.  As for what to expect - I suggest going into the session with no expectations.  If you go in there expecting him to apologize for bad behavior, to admit to abuse, to take the blame for troubles, or for the T to call him out on his crap, I can almost guarantee you will be disappointed.   There's a pretty good chance of having more crap dumped on you, being blamed for stuff, or accused of not being supportive or supporting in the wrong ways.  If that happens, your best strategy is to just listen, ask questions, and not get defensive.  Think of this as a chance to get an insight into what is going on in his head and how committed he really is to healing himself. 

[ziniztar]

False alarm... . :'(

He just wanted me to know he had the appointment because we have more plans later that day. Guess I'll have to wait for this.

Thanks for taking the time to respond