Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
March 29, 2024, 03:14:15 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: Cat Familiar, EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Books most popular with members
104
Stop Caretaking the
Borderline or the Narcassist
Stop Walking
on Eggshells
Journey from
Abandonment to Healing
The Search for Real Self
Unmasking Personality Disorders

Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Ex feels shame and is projecting on son  (Read 384 times)
Aussie JJ
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: apart 18 months, 12 months push pull 6 months seperated properly, 4 months k own about BPD
Posts: 865


« on: August 16, 2014, 06:18:26 AM »

Ok, I want to help however the following just transpired, fully played out... .

Devalued me on a medical issue with our son

For over 2 months... .

Denied the problem 2 weeks ago when doctor gave advice

Went back to doctor got the same advice and ignored it that night

Same problem still present 3 days ago.  Got same advice from doctor, answered her questions and then she decides doctor isnt adequate.  Hasn't followed medicine for problem twice now.  

She doesn't follow advice, devalues it, me and doctor

Triangulates doctor getting a second doctor to advise as per her opinion, her and second doctor agree so that is how to proceed.  

Denies son medical help he needs

Cuts me out of process by stipulating XYZ will happen and I will let you know the result.  Again controlling.  

Now an issue I have raised has been shutdown and following behaviours have occurred.  

Controling situation.  Omnipotence regarding son.  

Splitting, black and white thinking.  She is correct, all or nothing.  

Disasosiation, just wants her view and zones out for everything else.  

Triangulation.  

Devaluation.  

The disorder always wins... .

This has 'centred' me.  
Logged
Aussie JJ
******
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: apart 18 months, 12 months push pull 6 months seperated properly, 4 months k own about BPD
Posts: 865


« Reply #1 on: August 16, 2014, 10:37:15 AM »

With this,

I have another more serious medical issue that is in the pipeline but the same dynamic is occuring, this has been over a ear infection.  I think there may be some inner ear problems effecting balance as well however this has been blocked by her for me getting it followed up. 

I am watching it again and again.  My next step is to not tell her about something, not give her the opportunity to shoot it down and just force the treatment.  When the last bit came in with a second doctor I was so bloody over it.  This is the 3rd medical issue she has done this with.  All small, nothing major.   

The next one is major and I can't accept the behaviours with it when I get a diagnosis of CP I am just going to have to get ready for that fight. 

Just under 2 weeks left and I can pay the full fee at the specialist and get it done and don't have to rely on the waiting list. 

Thing with mine is she is studying to be a psycologist... .  How she doesn't see what she is doing and have that self awareness is beyond me. 
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!