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Author Topic: Making the Connection  (Read 368 times)
TheReflektor
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
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« on: August 22, 2014, 11:53:17 PM »

Hello All,

My spouse has been suffering for some time for a change in personality when he/she drinks (I want to keep total anonymity).

During the day, he/she can be out of it, and he/she does have mood swings and anxiety attacks, but at night it intensifies and changes.  There is a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde effect.  He/She begins to become accusatory, targeted and mean.  He/She thinks everyone is shaming him/her and sways back and forth and works in extremes, and at times forgets everything quickly if one doesn't feed the demon.

He/She can be very mean, angry, and take minor issues from earlier in the day or week and escalate them completely out of proportion.  Then it can shift to very loving, very empathetic and very caring.  Then it can shift to sexual, almost aggressive, needing satisfaction several times over.  And if it is not fed, he/she will self pleasure for sometimes over an hour.

It starts every night around 9 p.m.  His/Her anxiety begins to sky rocket.  He/She will pour a drink.  Once the drink is finished the slope starts to begin and it continues to spiral.  Recently, his/her therapist put him/her on meds that reduce the timeline, but it is not quelled by any stretch.

I am terrified.  I at times have handled this poorly and caused super high anxiety situations.  I love him/her dearly, and I want to help.  The therapist is not ready to make a call and spends a lot of time not listening and shaming.

Is this a clear case?  What can I do?
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formflier
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 19076



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« Reply #1 on: August 27, 2014, 02:35:53 PM »

Hello All,

My spouse has been suffering for some time for a change in personality when he/she drinks (I want to keep total anonymity).

During the day, he/she can be out of it, and he/she does have mood swings and anxiety attacks, but at night it intensifies and changes.  There is a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde effect.  He/She begins to become accusatory, targeted and mean.  He/She thinks everyone is shaming him/her and sways back and forth and works in extremes, and at times forgets everything quickly if one doesn't feed the demon.

He/She can be very mean, angry, and take minor issues from earlier in the day or week and escalate them completely out of proportion.  Then it can shift to very loving, very empathetic and very caring.  Then it can shift to sexual, almost aggressive, needing satisfaction several times over.  And if it is not fed, he/she will self pleasure for sometimes over an hour.

It starts every night around 9 p.m.  His/Her anxiety begins to sky rocket.  He/She will pour a drink.  Once the drink is finished the slope starts to begin and it continues to spiral.  Recently, his/her therapist put him/her on meds that reduce the timeline, but it is not quelled by any stretch.

I am terrified.  I at times have handled this poorly and caused super high anxiety situations.  I love him/her dearly, and I want to help.  The therapist is not ready to make a call and spends a lot of time not listening and shaming.

Is this a clear case?  What can I do?

I see there is a therapist involved.  Is there a diagnosis? 

I think you should read over the lessons.  Post things back here that seem to ring true for your r/s (relationship).  From there we can help you develop a strategy.

What are you doing to care for yourself?
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