Alcohol and BPD

[nightmoves]

So - my BPDw has returned to drinking a bottle or more of each night.

And I am now seeing an increase in BPD behaviors most especially the rage, irrational thinking, blame, and an overall overwhelmed and disorganized path through her day.

My question is - has anyone read or experienced how alcohol can affect or exacerbate the BPD maladaptive behaviors?

The worst changes in her were three years ago as she entered Peri-menapause. Having not experienced myself what that would be like I simpy tried to be supportive and understanding. The curious addition then was an  increase of her usual one glass of  wine a night  - to a bottle and more.

THAT time point was extremely difficult for all of us in our family to bear.

Eventually, about a year later - she told me that she was worried she may have a problem with alcohol... .and after some time... .quit completely.

Looking back... .there was a lessening of some BPD behavior severity.

(mostly the rages and the anger)

That went on for about a year.

The alcohol slowly reappeared.

Now - back to a bottle a night.

AND all the rage and irrationality is off the wall again.

I had read that hormonal imbalances, alcohol,etc... .certainly cannot cause BPD... .but... .all of that can influence the severity.

Anyone please weigh in.

Thank you

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[maxsterling]

My fiancé is almost 12 years sober.  I didn't know her when she was using and drinking, but over the course of a decade or more she had addictions to alcohol and every major street drug except meth, and probably prescription drugs, too.  Had she not gained sobriety, she'd clearly be dead by now. 

I also had an ex-girlfriend who clearly fit the criteria for BPD or NPD who both drank and smoked pot on a binge-type basis.  She was relatively calm when sober, but after just a few drinks it was violent rage time.  At the time I was dating her, I knew nothing of personality disorders, and I figured if she just sobered up, she would be a wonderful person.  I now know this is not true.

I have seen this mental illness with both sobriety and active addiction.  No question the sober situation is easier to deal with, but simply being sober really did not solve my fiancé's problems.  Yes, no more heroin.  But she's turned her addictions to other things, namely food and sex.  Obviously the alcohol and drugs were a coping mechanism, and 12 years of sobriety she hasn't really learned coping mechanisms that are much healthier.  She claims her life was much worse when using drugs, but sometimes I wonder if she questions that.  She was definitely more active and probably less depressed when using, or at least numb to her inner hurt.  12 years later, and she is still carrying every piece of that baggage.

I will say this, though:  If my fiancé went back to drinking or using drugs, that would be an immediate deal-breaker for our relationship.  I will NOT stay with her if she is actively using.

[wishfulthinking]

Interesting you post this, as I was wondering about my situation which is similar just this morning.  Even did a search on it, but before you posted yours.  Anyway,  I've noticed an increase in my BPD/NPDh's drinking.  He drinks daily, though sometimes not as much as others, but still daily.  He thinks he is hiding the extent of it from me, and I'm sure part of it he is, but I've been calling him out on it more and he admits there is a problem, and said he needs to work on it, but I still find hidden empty bottles around where he doesn't think I will.  I have a bag of them and I'm trying to compose a letter because I know the conversation won't go well even though he knows it's a problem, pointing it out to him is bad.  I'm so confused on this and the only reason I even think I need to bring it up right now is because of the money situation.  I'm close to having to get a second job because he never works steady and I don't drink, I don't smoke like him, I shouldn't have my credit going down the drain and not making payments because he's using $200 a month in cigarettes and alcohol.  Otherwise, he's made such good changes (whether they stick around or not, we will see) I'm afraid to pick more... .

[MissyM]

Multiple addictions is one of the symptoms of BPD (not all BPDs have this), so it is fairly common among BPDs.  Drug use (and sex, his other addiction) seemed to escalate the symptoms with my dBPDh and this creates a cycle where he would use more.  This cycle is part of his addiction cycle and is common among all addicts.  I was told that he had to be sober for a year before they could even diagnose him with BPD because so many of the symptoms for an active addict (and in the 1st stage of recovery) are the same as for a PD.  Thankfully he is sober and working recovery.

[sweetheart]

Hello nightmoves,

My dBPDh drank heavily for about six months at the beginning of last year. His dysregulations were much more severe and unpredictable. With alcohol for me there is zero chance that I might be able to prevent a situation escalating. The other area that alcohol makes worse for my husbands is paranoia, it is off the scale. He no longer drinks as alcohol is not his drug of choice and he actually recognises that it makes him much worse.

[ColdEthyl]

So - my BPDw has returned to drinking a bottle or more of each night.

And I am now seeing an increase in BPD behaviors most especially the rage, irrational thinking, blame, and an overall overwhelmed and disorganized path through her day.

My question is - has anyone read or experienced how alcohol can affect or exacerbate the BPD maladaptive behaviors?

The worst changes in her were three years ago as she entered Peri-menapause. Having not experienced myself what that would be like I simpy tried to be supportive and understanding. The curious addition then was an  increase of her usual one glass of  wine a night  - to a bottle and more.

THAT time point was extremely difficult for all of us in our family to bear.

Eventually, about a year later - she told me that she was worried she may have a problem with alcohol... .and after some time... .quit completely.

Looking back... .there was a lessening of some BPD behavior severity.

(mostly the rages and the anger)

That went on for about a year.

The alcohol slowly reappeared.

Now - back to a bottle a night.

AND all the rage and irrationality is off the wall again.

I had read that hormonal imbalances, alcohol,etc... .certainly cannot cause BPD... .but... .all of that can influence the severity.

Anyone please weigh in.

Thank you

It makes it worse. My husband will drink a pint of whiskey a day, sometimes go a few days without it, but always at least 4 days a week. Sometimes he's happy and has a good time... .most of the time it ends in some sort of rage cycle like tonight. The car is stalling, we can't figure out why... .so naturally I'm an A hole for being scared when I get home and it stalled on busy streets four times before I made it home. What i got was him telling me to take my self on the bus so he doesn't have to hear it... .even though I need to walk 2 children to 2 different schools and don't have time  cuz lord knows he ain't walking them.

He also went on a rage to say everyday I come home I make him want to kill himself, and how if I wanted to kill myself he wouldn't give a crap. Everyday for over a week minus the past days, I have come home smiling and asking about his day, and sitting with him before I go make dinner and stuff like he has asked me before. Yet today, I NEVER come home in a good mood in all the years together. I remind myself he doesn't mean it... .I remind myself what he's really mad about is the car, and not being able to fix it. But I'm still hurt at the things he says... .and I have no one.