need help getting through this dysregulation PLEASE

[LilHurt420]

I know this is long... .but please help.

I haven't been on in a while.  Things seemed to be calming down, but now have gone full force again out of now where.  I need serious help navigating this situation.

My uBPD husband chaperons at a camp the end of each summer.  He was gone last week.  Before he left things were calm and when he left I really missed him.  We text and video chatted a few times while he was away.  On his way home Sunday he sends me all these texts about how he was sorry that he didn't keep in touch more but he loved me so much and couldn't wait to see me, how he was so lucky to have such a perfect understanding wife, etc.  He gets home Sunday and everything was great, even into Monday.  He was very loving, kept hugging and kissing me and telling me how much he loved me and how great I am.  Then last night he took a turn for the worst.  He took a percoset and turned into a completely different person.  After laying down to watch TV with me he got up and decided he didn't want to sleep in the same bed as me and tried to sleep on the couch.  I started crying (I'm also pregnant and hormonal) and asked him to stay in our bed because I really missed him.  He laid down for a little bit and I try to hug him and hold him.  After about 30 mins when I got up to go to the bathroom he got up and went to smoke a cigarette then stayed on the couch.  He stayed up pretty much all night going through my phone (this is what he does when he takes pills and can't sleep) and slept on the couch.  I asked him what was wrong and he just said nothing.

This morning he was supposed to bring me to work and then go drop my car off to be fixed.  I tried to wake him up on the couch a few times he wouldn't get up.  Finally I got pissed and raised my voice a little and he said he wasn't going to get up and help me.  So I had to call my dad last minute to bring me to work.  After I leave he starts calling and texting me but I ignore him.  He then starts calling and texting me from a California number.  About 2 years ago I had gone to visit someone I met out there and he can't get over it.  Anytime he gets dysregulated he goes back to that place.  He pretends he's this guy telling me that he misses me and will be moving to my state and working for my company in November (how convenient).  I'm now ignoring all the texts.  He then starts calling my work phone over and over so I send all calls to voicemail.  I then get texts from my husband (on his number) saying how he can't do this anymore, when he was at camp he realized he loved me but just can't do this anymore and will be moving in with his friend to a new apartment Oct 1st and that it's a final decision and he already put a deposit down.  I've just been ignoring him and I know all this is a lie (before he left for camp he only had $100 in his account... .he spent it all and had to borrow $50 from his dad yesterday who dropped it at the house with me so I know he has no money for a deposit).

I know when I get home the first thing he will do is go for my phone... .see the texts that he really sent me from the Cali # and go off on a tangent about how convenient it is the guy is contacting me now and cause a whole big scene.

If I call my husband out and tell him I know he sent the text then he'll get mad that "I'm sticking up for this guy" (it's happened before).  If I don't let him see the phone he'll fight me for it and end up breaking it (I just got a new phone last week).

It's seriously a lose lose situation for me.  I need some real help navigating this and figuring out the best way to keep things calm for when I get home.  I can't go anywhere else, and our 5yo son is at home with him now.  I don't even have a car right now as mine is in the shop and all the money in savings will be going towards fixing it.

How do I make it through tonight without having to deal with this complete craziness?

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Hamakua]

I'm sorry to read the no win situation you find yourself in.

I would just calmly explain you aren't going to play his game of accusations and that you know he sent the texts, all of them.  Stay calm and don't entertain an argument and tell him you wont.  He will be rearing to go looking for a fight, a fight that he has crafted that you have pointed out you cannot win.  He is essentially just looking to beat up on you emotionally.  I'm not an academic expert on setting boundaries and the above might be very difficult for you to do.  I've read up on some of it but it still is hard from the position you are in.  Most of what I've read involves having to be able to risk calling their bluff and what may come from that.

I've had to deal with my share of "no win" scenarios in the past and understand where you are coming from and what you are going through.

As an side note,

"About 2 years ago I had gone to visit someone I met out there and he can't get over it."

Were you two together while this happened? -if yes, seems a little inappropriate if it's a member of the opposite sex, but I don't know the situation.  Also 2 years is far and beyond enough time to get over it and forget it.  If my SO wanted to go to another state by themselves and visit "Someone they met in California" I'd definitely object as that is a boundary that is inappropriate to cross for me.  (it's one thing to hang out with a member of the opposite sex as a friend, it is quite another to spend money to go out of state to do so).

That said, my side note is in no way an excuse for his behavior right now.

[LilHurt420]

I'm sorry to read the no win situation you find yourself in.

I would just calmly explain you aren't going to play his game of accusations and that you know he sent the texts, all of them.  Stay calm and don't entertain an argument and tell him you wont.  He will be rearing to go looking for a fight, a fight that he has crafted that you have pointed out you cannot win.  He is essentially just looking to beat up on you emotionally.  I'm not an academic expert on setting boundaries and the above might be very difficult for you to do.  I've read up on some of it but it still is hard from the position you are in.  Most of what I've read involves having to be able to risk calling their bluff and what may come from that.

I've had to deal with my share of "no win" scenarios in the past and understand where you are coming from and what you are going through.

As an side note,

"About 2 years ago I had gone to visit someone I met out there and he can't get over it."

Were you two together while this happened? -if yes, seems a little inappropriate if it's a member of the opposite sex, but I don't know the situation.  Also 2 years is far and beyond enough time to get over it and forget it.  If my SO wanted to go to another state by themselves and visit "Someone they met in California" I'd definitely object as that is a boundary that is inappropriate to cross for me.  (it's one thing to hang out with a member of the opposite sex as a friend, it is quite another to spend money to go out of state to do so).

That said, my side note is in no way an excuse for his behavior right now.

Thank you for the recommendation.  I'm still at work trembling at what I'm going home to.

As far as the situation with going to visit someone else, there is more to the story.  I was wrong in doing what I did, since we were together, I will never deny that.  It was more of a desperate attempt for attention.  After 8 years of dealing with him constantly cheating (which produced 2 kids outside of us), constant rages, anger, leaving for days on end, and me constantly pleading him to stop... .I gave into getting attention elsewhere.  It was wrong, and I regret it and shouldn't have done it regardless of what he has done to me.  When it happened he said it was the "eye opener" he needed to realize if he kept acting the way he was he was going to lose me.  Back then I never knew what was wrong with him, but since he's been home more in the last 2 years instead of out doing his own thing I've actually had to deal with more of his episodes and that's when I finally put the name of BPD to what he has.  For the last 2 years I have been completely transparent.  I have done everything in my power to show him I love him and I am committed to him despite my mistake.  Yet all that ever seems to happen is it gets thrown in my face in one way or another and I don't throw his past indiscretions in his face nor the fact he has a 1.5 year old child when we've been together for 10 years.  It's all a lot and I feel like I've lost myself trying to navigate all this.

[Rapt Reader]

It might be too late now (you already may be home from work at this point), but what would happen if you just deleted the texts he sent you, and get them out of the call history? Would that cause a scene?

If he goes through your phone and they aren't in there, would he mention them? By mentioning them he is admitting to sending them, and if he didn't send them, he wouldn't know to look for them, right?

Would deleting the information cause a worse situation?

If you made it home by now, please let us know what happened... .

I hope things are all right for you, LilHurt420 

[formflier]

 

LilHurt420,

Have you read lessons on boundaries?

I'm guessing you have because it seems like you did a good job with the phone calls and texts.

Are you being "completely transparent" because you want to or because he is demanding it?

Does he reciprocate?

Sometimes being too transparent encourages others to snoop... .which makes them want to snoop more... and so on.  That time "snooping" would be better spent focusing on the r/s instead of private detective work.

Thoughts?

[Bear60]

Sometimes being too transparent encourages others to snoop... .which makes them want to snoop more... and so on.  That time "snooping" would be better spent focusing on the r/s instead of private detective work.

Thank you for this, my uBPDw is demanding I show her this site and my postings, she even has told me her T says if I cared for her and knew how much this bothered her then I would. Some how I doubt this. Same thing with my journaling, facebook, phone or my T.

I remember when she sent me a text from a friends phone then went through my phone and was all upset, she didn't believe me that it was from her. Worse was auto messages from the phone company she was upset about?

LilHurt, stay strong with your boundaries, I am and yes they fight it hard and push you towards the F.O.G

[formflier]

Sometimes being too transparent encourages others to snoop... .which makes them want to snoop more... and so on.  That time "snooping" would be better spent focusing on the r/s instead of private detective work.

Thank you for this, my uBPDw is demanding I show her this site and my postings, she even has told me her T says if I cared for her and knew how much this bothered her then I would. Some how I doubt this. Same thing with my journaling, facebook, phone or my T.

I remember when she sent me a text from a friends phone then went through my phone and was all upset, she didn't believe me that it was from her. Worse was auto messages from the phone company she was upset about?

LilHurt, stay strong with your boundaries, I am and yes they fight it hard and push you towards the F.O.G

My first real boundary that I stuck to was over my phone and the "openess" thing.  In my case... .she would turn something normal into an affair and try to force me into jadeing... .and general drama.

I survived a huge extinction burst that actually went "textbook"... .from the lessons.

When it was all over I was a true believer... .and my phone and gmail are still locked and private today.

And... .most importantly... .the drama involved with that entire phone thing is gone.  GONE!   

Finally... .true confessions.  Back when we were both "open"... .I would sometimes look in her phone and gmail.  Curiosity would set it... .  I never found anything or accused her... .but was really disappointed in myself for playing private investigator.

So... .remember... .boundaries go both ways. 

And honestly... .I'm happier now being ignorant about whats on here phone or gmail. 

[LilHurt420]

It might be too late now (you already may be home from work at this point), but what would happen if you just deleted the texts he sent you, and get them out of the call history? Would that cause a scene?

If he goes through your phone and they aren't in there, would he mention them? By mentioning them he is admitting to sending them, and if he didn't send them, he wouldn't know to look for them, right?

Would deleting the information cause a worse situation?

If you made it home by now, please let us know what happened... .

I hope things are all right for you, LilHurt420 

Thank you!

So I thought about deleting the texts, but was scared it would cause a bigger issue.  I know he does things like that to "test" me.  If I deleted the text he probably would have found some way to bring up the fact they were once there and then been able to accuse me of hiding that I'm cheating or something.

Last night I went home and took our son out on a "date" for dinner and ice cream... .just trying to stay out my husbands way as much as possible.  When I got back I got another text from the mysterious number so I sent a text back saying "whoever this is leave me the f* alone"  I figured that covered all my bases.  He tried to call me out on the texts but didn't get far.  He even went so far as to leave the house and took my phone with him, but I was able to log onto the antivirus software I had online to lock the phone so he couldn't do anything (I was worried he'd use his phone to send texts back and forth between me and the number to make it look like more happened than really did)

Anyways... .after all that he came back home a little while later and laid in bed with me and tried to hold me.  I asked him to leave me alone, I was exhausted and wanted to go to sleep.  This morning he told me he knows he has a problem and begged me to help him.  He said he thinks when takes pain medication it makes him worse and he gets stuck in these illogical thoughts.  He said he couldn't even tell me why he was mad at me and what I did to trigger him originally and didn't even know why he was doing all these mean things to me.

It's a step in the right direction... .but I'm still weary.  He still refuses to go on any type of medication to treat his BPD. 

[formflier]

  This morning he told me he knows he has a problem and begged me to help him.  

So what is the plan to try to help him?

Has he been diagnosed?  Does he regularly go to therapy?

[waverider]

Finally... .true confessions.  Back when we were both "open"... .I would sometimes look in her phone and gmail.  Curiosity would set it... .  I never found anything or accused her... .but was really disappointed in myself for playing private investigator.

So... .remember... .boundaries go both ways. 

And honestly... .I'm happier now being ignorant about whats on here phone or gmail. 

Suspicion is a symptom of being infected by the disorder via association.

[LilHurt420]

  This morning he told me he knows he has a problem and begged me to help him.  

So what is the plan to try to help him?

Has he been diagnosed?  Does he regularly go to therapy?

There is no plan.  There never is a plan.  Every once in a while he has a break through where he admits something is wrong, and then he sweeps it under the rug and it doesn't get mentioned again.  He hasn't been diagnosed and isn't in any type of therapy.

After being completely worn out last night from more drama from the day, I was in a bad place. When I tried to explain to him how I was feeling, he didn't like my tone and went off on another rage.  He never came home last night... .here we go... .back to square one.

[formflier]

  This morning he told me he knows he has a problem and begged me to help him.  

So what is the plan to try to help him?

Has he been diagnosed?  Does he regularly go to therapy?

There is no plan.  There never is a plan.  Every once in a while he has a break through where he admits something is wrong, and then he sweeps it under the rug and it doesn't get mentioned again.  He hasn't been diagnosed and isn't in any type of therapy.

After being completely worn out last night from more drama from the day, I was in a bad place. When I tried to explain to him how I was feeling, he didn't like my tone and went off on another rage.  He never came home last night... .here we go... .back to square one.

 

You can tell us how you feel... .we've been there. 

Have you read any lessons about how to get your loved one into treatment?  I want to offer some encouragement to you because many pwBPD will never even hint that they have anything wrong with them.

It would seem to me that you need to think through a plan for next time he asks for him.  To keep that momentum going in the right direction.

Thoughts?

[MissyM]

He said he thinks when takes pain medication it makes him worse and he gets stuck in these illogical thoughts.  He said he couldn't even tell me why he was mad at me and what I did to trigger him originally and didn't even know why he was doing all these mean things to me.

 

When my dBPDh was taking codeine, that is when his insanity went to full peak!  It really exacerbated his symptoms.  I was later informed that codeine can make people very aggressive and make them feel like a victim (both problems he already had with the BPD).  My husband has legitimate pain issues but now takes Nuerontin and an antidepressant that helps with pain.  I don't know others experience here but pain meds were really bad for my dBPDh, of course he became addicted to them and went super crazy.

[LilHurt420]

  This morning he told me he knows he has a problem and begged me to help him.  

So what is the plan to try to help him?

Has he been diagnosed?  Does he regularly go to therapy?

There is no plan.  There never is a plan.  Every once in a while he has a break through where he admits something is wrong, and then he sweeps it under the rug and it doesn't get mentioned again.  He hasn't been diagnosed and isn't in any type of therapy.

After being completely worn out last night from more drama from the day, I was in a bad place. When I tried to explain to him how I was feeling, he didn't like my tone and went off on another rage.  He never came home last night... .here we go... .back to square one.

 

You can tell us how you feel... .we've been there. 

Have you read any lessons about how to get your loved one into treatment?  I want to offer some encouragement to you because many pwBPD will never even hint that they have anything wrong with them.

It would seem to me that you need to think through a plan for next time he asks for him.  To keep that momentum going in the right direction.

Thoughts?

I haven't read that one... .I'll brush up on it today.  Today I'm feeling hopeless.  I just got cussed out for bringing our son to a babysitter at the last minute because I had to go to work and my H (who was supposed to watch him today) never showed up until the second we were walking out the door.  I just feel so hopeless at this point.

How do I keep going on when it seems there's no hope?  With me never being allowed to be angry, upset, etc about what he's doing I feel so... .drained.

[LilHurt420]

He said he thinks when takes pain medication it makes him worse and he gets stuck in these illogical thoughts.  He said he couldn't even tell me why he was mad at me and what I did to trigger him originally and didn't even know why he was doing all these mean things to me.

 

When my dBPDh was taking codeine, that is when his insanity went to full peak!  It really exacerbated his symptoms.  I was later informed that codeine can make people very aggressive and make them feel like a victim (both problems he already had with the BPD).  My husband has legitimate pain issues but now takes Nuerontin and an antidepressant that helps with pain.  I don't know others experience here but pain meds were really bad for my dBPDh, of course he became addicted to them and went super crazy.

I have always noticed that too... .he goes completely insane when he takes pain meds.  He gets them prescribed, but I have a feeling he's not truthful with the doctor about his "headaches" and the doctor keeps giving them to him.  I have a feeling he took one last night because he refilled his prescription yesterday.  After he didn't like my tone of voice he left and never came home until I was walking out the door this morning.

[Moselle]

LilHurt420

Sorry you had to go through this when you probably need support during your pregnancy (how many months left?), not this nonsense!

I've had the phone thing too, but my point is more general.

Mine seems to go AWOL at times when I really need support too. Last year, I was going through a very difficult time at work which was taking my stress levels through the roof. Right when I needed her, she committed insurance fraud, and I had to deal with all the fallout from that including having all my house and car insurance cancelled, on top of my work stress.

The point is this. I realise now that if I go back into a relationship with her (we have been separated for 7 months), she is a 3 year old emotionally, I can never rely on her to help me with anything. She's going to let me down repeatedly. I have to get that support from somewhere else outside the relationship.

Can you establish a network of support during the pregnancy to help you? You mentioned your dad came to help you get to work. Perhaps prepare 5 or 6 family or friends, and ask them if they would mind supporting you from time to time if you need it. It would spread the load if/when this happens again, and you wouldn't feel bad always asking the same person.

Regarding dealing with the nonsense, I have found laughing at the ridiculousness of it, makes them mad, but lets them know you get the game and it doesn't freak you out like they want it to. Seriously, I start to giggle now, because I actually do find it funny I sms'd my wife two weeks ago - "Stop being a victim, it bores me". I ignored the 5 phone calls she tried to make, and one hour later she acted as if nothing had happened. I'm realising she is more like a child emotionally, and experimenting with how to handle this stuff. I'm not great at validation yet, but I'm learning.

All the best with your pregnancy.

[formflier]

  With me never being allowed to be angry, upset, etc about what he's doing I feel so... .drained.

Again... hang in there!   

One thing that I would like you to think about is who is deciding on what emotions you can have

That should be you.

Now... it's important that you also realize that while you are allowed to have the emotion that you have... .that does not guarantee a proper response from him... .or anyone else for that matter.  "Proper" being the response that you want.

Again... .for now ... .just think about this.  I'm picking up a vibe that emotional support is a really big deal for you.  So... .hoping to get you pointed in the right direction to get you more emotional support so that you don't feel like you have to keep it bottled up.

Thoughts?

[LilHurt420]

  With me never being allowed to be angry, upset, etc about what he's doing I feel so... .drained.

Again... hang in there!   

One thing that I would like you to think about is who is deciding on what emotions you can have

That should be you.

Now... it's important that you also realize that while you are allowed to have the emotion that you have... .that does not guarantee a proper response from him... .or anyone else for that matter.  "Proper" being the response that you want.

Again... .for now ... .just think about this.  I'm picking up a vibe that emotional support is a really big deal for you.  So... .hoping to get you pointed in the right direction to get you more emotional support so that you don't feel like you have to keep it bottled up.

Thoughts?

I tried my best to tell him my emotions last night without flipping out.  While telling him I know I started to get worked up and my voice got a little higher and he could sense the anger and frustration (yet I wasn't yelling).  This alone set something off inside him where he accused me of being the bipolar one since I was "fine" (to him at least) earlier in the day and it was our son giving me a hard time that just tipped me over the edge.  I'm feeling no matter how much I try or what I do, my efforts are always wasted on him as it's never ever good enough or the right way to handle things (yet he's allowed to rage, be manipulative, gaslight me, etc and that's perfectly acceptable to him... .that's something I really struggle with).

Right now I really do need support.  The problem is I do not have a support system when it comes to anything that has to do with my husband.  My family is all sick and tired of hearing it all and they all look down on me for staying with (and having another child) a mentally ill person who will not get any help and treats me so badly.  They will only offer support if it's for me leaving him, so I'm forced to put on a "happy" face around all of them.

I'm at a point where I have no support with dealing with this relationship and I feel myself losing my grip and don't have an outlet right now.  I have a decent job, but not enough money to make it on my own.  I have a 5yo son and another one on the way (I'm Due in December) so I have to consider them also.  It's all so much on me right now.

[formflier]

  my efforts are always wasted on him as it's never ever good enough or the right way to handle things 

  so I'm forced to put on a "happy" face around all of them.

A few "theory" things for you to think about.  Your expressing emotions is for you... .yes in a way it is for him... .so he can know what you are feeling.  So... .I would be careful thinking that the energy an effort going into your emotions is "for him". 

Have I missed something in what you meant to say?

2nd:  How do they force you to put on a happy face?

Are you seeing a theme here?  Relating to your emotions and other people... .

[LilHurt420]

  my efforts are always wasted on him as it's never ever good enough or the right way to handle things 

  so I'm forced to put on a "happy" face around all of them.

A few "theory" things for you to think about.  Your expressing emotions is for you... .yes in a way it is for him... .so he can know what you are feeling.  So... .I would be careful thinking that the energy an effort going into your emotions is "for him". 

Have I missed something in what you meant to say?

2nd:  How do they force you to put on a happy face?

Are you seeing a theme here?  Relating to your emotions and other people... .

You're right... .I guess every time I try to express emotions to him it is to get it out, but it's also with the hope that maybe he might just see how bad the things he's done to me really are.  However... .that never happens.  Even when I think it does it never deters anything from happening again.

With my family I guess I used the wrong words.  It's not that I'm forced to put on a happy face, but I just feel like I have to because I can't talk to them about what I'm going through.

[formflier]

You're right... .I guess every time I try to express emotions to him it is to get it out, but it's also with the hope that maybe he might just see how bad the things he's done to me really are.  However... .that never happens.  Even when I think it does it never deters anything from happening again.

With my family I guess I used the wrong words.  It's not that I'm forced to put on a happy face, but I just feel like I have to because I can't talk to them about what I'm going through.

You are on the right track here... .

Sometimes we get so "enmeshed" with a r/s with a partner that has BPD traits that we focus on getting a proper reaction from them... .on whatever the issue is.

Even with a non-BPD person... .if you pin your hopes and happiness on someone else doing the right thing... .feeling a certain way... .saying something... .more often than not you are setting yourself up for disappointment.

As I get the feeling of where you are in figuring things out... .I hope that you can take some of these big principles... .and really take them to heart.  Then... .when it comes down to "tactics"... .on any one issue or thing that you are dealing with... .you can make decisions based on the right principle.

Thoughts?

[LilHurt420]

You're right... .I guess every time I try to express emotions to him it is to get it out, but it's also with the hope that maybe he might just see how bad the things he's done to me really are.  However... .that never happens.  Even when I think it does it never deters anything from happening again.

With my family I guess I used the wrong words.  It's not that I'm forced to put on a happy face, but I just feel like I have to because I can't talk to them about what I'm going through.

You are on the right track here... .

Sometimes we get so "enmeshed" with a r/s with a partner that has BPD traits that we focus on getting a proper reaction from them... .on whatever the issue is.

Even with a non-BPD person... .if you pin your hopes and happiness on someone else doing the right thing... .feeling a certain way... .saying something... .more often than not you are setting yourself up for disappointment.

As I get the feeling of where you are in figuring things out... .I hope that you can take some of these big principles... .and really take them to heart.  Then... .when it comes down to "tactics"... .on any one issue or thing that you are dealing with... .you can make decisions based on the right principle.

Thoughts?

what would you suggest doing when I feel I need to get feelings out?  should still express them to my husband and just be prepared for him to react negatively... .or should I not express them to him at all?

I think I'm going to start another post asking others how they get their feelings out when they need to.  It's hard holding all this in and constantly carrying around (what feels like) the weight of the world.

[formflier]

what would you suggest doing when I feel I need to get feelings out?  should still express them to my husband and just be prepared for him to react negatively... .or should I not express them to him at all?

I think I'm going to start another post asking others how they get their feelings out when they need to.  It's hard holding all this in and constantly carrying around (what feels like) the weight of the world.

Solid!  That is a great idea for a thread to focus on that "tactical" discussion.

I just wanted to make sure you knew that you can choose to let your feelings out... .or keep them in.  That's not up to anyone else.

And... as you have identified in yourself... .most people have figured out that holding this all in is not good for their mental health.

So... .go for setting up a new thread on health outlets for your emotions... . 

You are doing really well with the message board.  Not only will this be a big help to you... .but to others as well.

[LilHurt420]

what would you suggest doing when I feel I need to get feelings out?  should still express them to my husband and just be prepared for him to react negatively... .or should I not express them to him at all?

I think I'm going to start another post asking others how they get their feelings out when they need to.  It's hard holding all this in and constantly carrying around (what feels like) the weight of the world.

Solid!  That is a great idea for a thread to focus on that "tactical" discussion.

I just wanted to make sure you knew that you can choose to let your feelings out... .or keep them in.  That's not up to anyone else.

And... as you have identified in yourself... .most people have figured out that holding this all in is not good for their mental health.

So... .go for setting up a new thread on health outlets for your emotions... . 

You are doing really well with the message board.  Not only will this be a big help to you... .but to others as well.

thank you for helping me through that!  I'm so glad I found this message board... .it really has become my safe haven on bad days!

[formflier]

  I'm so glad I found this message board... .it really has become my safe haven on bad days!

As it has for many people... .including me.

   

[Moselle]

As it has for many people... .including me.

Ditto that. Looking forward to your new thread LilHurt420!